So angry

[tryinghardest]

I gave birth in October 2020 and I still feel so angry about it all. The support from the hospital was fucking awful and wasn't allowed my partner in because of covid, the after care was utterly shocking too. Is there anyone I can talk to to help shift this horrible feeling I have towards it or is it just something I will get over?

Sorry to hear that OP.

My oldest is late teens and I'm still angry about the way I was treated after giving birth.

I wish I'd complained at the time but I wasn't in a fit state to take that on back then.

It might help to have a few counselling sessions to help you talk it through and get it off your chest?

I had a really good pre natal counsellor organised through the hospital.

I'm sorry to hear that OP.
I gave birth to my first child in 2014 and was treated so badly during labour, delivery and on the post-natal ward. It wasn't until after I had my second child in 2016 that I felt able to talk to the 'Listening Service' (run by the Head Midwife).
I do understand a bit more about why certain things happened and she was definitely sympathetic, listened brilliantly and gave me a genuine, heartfelt apology etc. However, the final outcome, which was all documented in a letter to me, still feels a little like they were closing ranks.
I am sorry that I don't have a neat little answer for you (or for myself!) My truth is that, if I think about that time again for too long, it does bring up exactly the same feelings - anger and sadness mainly.
In some ways, I am "over it", it's no longer as raw and acutely painful as it was. In other ways, I will never have a nice memory to look back on at what should have been a wonderful time.

Possibly try to set up a debrief/listening service appt - your hospital's PALS dept should be able to let you know if this is something they offer.
You can carry on posting here too, (if it helps) hopefully someone may come along with some more useful suggestions than mine.

But seriously because it's just not bloody fair!!

Most hospitals provide a birth after thoughts service where you will get to sit down with a senior midwife and go through your notes and discuss what happened. I found it a good opportunity to get everything off my chest after my first and it helped me resolve a lot of pent up feelings. There is also birth trauma counselling offered by some trusts, mine have started this and I’ve been told as they keep your notes for 25 years it can be done at almost point in that period.

I'm sorry, that sounds awful. A birth debrief might be a good idea to start with, and counselling to help you talk it through.