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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Please reassure me :(

33 replies

Oodlesofdoodlescockapoodles · 25/10/2021 22:25

Hello,

Back story- 2 normal births, the second precipitous and only made it to the hospital with 5 minutes to spare. Very intense!

For this reason I am in a real state about labour. I know I've done it before, etc, and I'm being silly. I've tried to rationalise it but since having a false alarm 2 weeks ago I've had panic attacks every day.

The main thing worrying me is that my last labour was so quick, but she was tiny. I've had growth scans this time and he's predicted to be 9lb+ with a head on the 97th centile. That, coupled with my history of very rapid labour, makes me incredibly anxious.

I've been told they won't induce me for "social reasons" (as opposed to a medical need, I guess?) and I'm 39 weeks now so i guess I have no options left.

I'm so scared I'll be alone when I have this baby and end up with issues eg getting stuck.

I've really worked myself up now and don't know how to deal with it Sad everyone just casually says "you'll be fine! You'll be fine!" but I feel like I have very valid reasons for being anxious and no one can hear me Sad

Any reassuring stories or advice?
Please do be gentle, i know I've done it before and compared to other women I've been very fortunate.

OP posts:
FTMNoIdea · 26/10/2021 21:47

Not a pro and not sure if this helps, but if labour was difficult due to head size, wouldn't that make things go slower and give you more time to get to hospital?
Also I think I read somewhere that large heads are relatively common in the UK? Can't find the link now sorry, but I remember all the pros not batting an eyelid about the size on my scan which sounded enormous to me.

Heruka · 26/10/2021 21:48

I was going to say home birth is a no brainer but see it’s not recommended for you. My second baby was 10lb5 and it was the easiest labour I could have imagined - midwife said that things can be smoother with big babies due to their weight, she kind of slipped out! It was a home birth though and I couldn’t recommend them more, if I’d had to travel during that it would have been nerve wracking I’m sure. What are your childcare arrangements for labour? Is there anything practical that could help, like moving your mum in for the last week so you could just take off as soon as Labour starts, and notify DH to meet you there en route?

Tessa2014 · 26/10/2021 22:25

I can’t believe people are telling you to go in and lie about reduced movements.
Also why on earth anyone would be induced other than for medical need escapes me. Inductions can be difficult and highly medicalised. Third babies can often not be the easiest to deliver anyway from what I understand.

Thedogscollar · 27/10/2021 00:46

@ThirdElephant

Speaking as a midwife that is incredibly stupid and dangerous advice. Being induced should be for a clinical reason.

Maternal mental health is a clinical reason. Unfortunately not all trusts recognise that. Additionally, I've got a friend who recently gave birth to her third in a car because she literally couldn't get to the hospital on time. She haemorrhaged and needed surgery and a blood transfusion. Like OP, she had been concerned about a fast labour and waiting until it started naturally ended up being far more dangerous than an induction in hospital would have been.

I stand by my advice.

And I stand by mine. As a HCP I know exactly what is involved in the induction process and it can be ineffective. You should not be giving advice you are not qualified to give. End off. @Oodlesofdoodlescockapoodles My advice would be to speak to your midwife re your concerns and decide on a plan of care you feel comfortable and happy with. If it's any consolation OP 3rd labours are known to be a bit stop start so I think you will have time to get to the hospital and yes the uss can be way off in there estimations. I had a lady last week had uss day before the birth the estimated fetal weight was 3.1kg but the baby was 2.6kg. Good luck and trust in your body it will remember what to do.
SusieSusieSoo · 27/10/2021 00:52

Op I only have the one ds but I echo pp who said growth scans can be inaccurate. Ds was 7lb. I was 40 so had several later scans and he was "measured" at 8.5lb. The way they presented the measurements I believed they were reasonably accurate. Really not in our case. Good luck with it all xx

Original poster
Oodlesofdoodlescockapoodles · 27/10/2021 14:11

Thank you for all the helpful replies, I saw the midwife this morning and she has arranged for me to speak to the GP about my anxiety and suggested some practical ways to try to keep calm.
She didn't suggest induction but I was told when I went in recently (thinking labour had started) that they're too short staffed to induce for anything other than clinical need, which is fair enough I suppose.

The midwife also said based on her experience she'd be surprised if this baby is as big as the scans have predicted which has really helped, as the size coupled with speed was the major thing concerning me. She might just be saying it to shut me up Grin but I'm clinging onto it!

OP posts:
Twizbe · 27/10/2021 14:22

I had two fast big babies. Both 9lbs and my second was under 3 hours.

I'd plan for a home birth tbh. Even if you're not officially allowed one, events could well take over.

Get in everything you want and make the call on the day 999 if needed.

ThirdElephant · 27/10/2021 18:03

Good luck!

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