Birth debrief?

[Mybabieshavenohair]

I’m wondering about whether to ask for one of these.

Last December I had DS. It was a bit of a car crash - failed induction and emergency c section. But there’s still a lot I don’t understand about what happened.

Is ten months later too late to contact someone? I’m not sure what I should ask or even who to contact!

I initially declined a post birth meeting. I was busy with my new baby, exhausted and I really didn't want to relive a rather traumatic birth.

I actually requested the meeting nearly 2 years later when I fell pregnant with our second baby. I needed to understand what happened before giving birth again.

It was very useful. I understood a lot more about what happened and I was ready to digest the information in a calm manner.

I'd recommend asking for the meeting at a time that feels right for you. Whether that's now or later on. Contact your local midwives, they should be able to guide you through the process.

No not too late at all! Definitely recommend having one. I had a birth listening apt and it was so useful. Truly felt hugely better after knowing exactly what happened and why. It will help you process it and accept what happened.

I had one but like previous op said, mine was three years' later when we were plucking up the courage to try again but wanted to know what happened /went wrong the first time.

I found it extremely helpful and I learnt a lot that I didn't know. Helped me make the decision to try again for a second. Unfortunately we couldn't conceive second time round so it wasn't meant to be obviously!

So so helpful 💯 recommend

Our birth was horrendous (emcs, haemorrhage, poor care, just awful) I'm still reeling- Ive been looking into ways to work through it. Sorry you have been through similar, it sounds so hard. I'm thinking of getting in touch with the Birth Trauma Association...I don't know what they do but I literally just found them.

I also found Tommy's (midwives) , I emailed them just because I had to talk to someone- it was actually quite useful.

I remember when I had my babies I found it really useful and very cathartic to talk it all over afterwards; it's such a powerful and primal moment that I think one needs to revisit it in order to make sense of it, somehow.

I talked be over four years over, when pregnant again. It was massively helpful. I learned why certain decisions had been made, but also realised some things I recalled as poor care and everyone had said “no, that can’t have happened” were poor care. The afterthoughts midwife also helped me make a plan for what to happen next and (less officially) told me what I needed to do to avoid the Midwife I Hated .

My subsequent births were fine, and I’m curious but don’t have the need to relive it any more. I hope it helps you.

10 months definitely isn't too late, some trusts only give you the option until 1 year though so do check.

When did birth debrief become a thing? It wasnt something I was offered when DS was born years ago.

It sounds like a really good tool to support both parents, especially those who have had a horrendous time to understand and make sense of things.

I hope you get answers Op and everything is ok.

Do it. If you feel now is the right time for you it should be a positive experience

I had failed induction, crash emcs, haemorrhage and had a debrief a few days later which was really helpful - I had no idea I had even had a blood transfusion I was so out of it on the day!

Hope it helps