Overdue again and feel miserable. Any advice?

[Tessa2014]

Just looking for some advice really.
First baby, ended up being born 15 days late after a 36 hour induction with hormone drip (horrendous) epidural (that only worked on one side so pushing was a nightmare), failed ventouse and forceps. By the end I just felt like a lump of meat they were trying to get a baby out of. Zero help with breastfeeding, terrible recurrent mastitis, developed into suicidal thoughts and PND that, with the help of antidepressants and counselling, I eventually recovered from. I feel so guilty to admit that the first two weeks of my child’s life were the worst of my life and I got as far as planning my suicide.
Anyway, a few years on I am now overdue by 2 days with no2 and no sign of labour at all. I’ve had a few sweeps but cervix still quite long and hard. I can’t believe I’m here again. I just feel like my body doesn’t know how to go into labour. I know that’s silly but that’s how I feel. I need to try and get through the next 10 days, I can already feel dark thoughts pushing to get into my head. I’m trying to stay positive. I have been offered an ELCS but I really would rather a vaginal birth again, but just not one that made me feel like an abject failure.
Any advice? I did all the hypnobirthing stuff last time and to be honest it set me up for unrealistic expectations. I fully expect this second birth to be horribly painful but I just really want it to start naturally. I don’t want to have to go on the drip but I just know that’s what’s going to happen.

I have no advice but just wanted to say I’m also playing the waiting game. This is also my second, my first I had induction, epidural, back to back labour consultant had to turn him in theatre and then thankfully the forceps did work. I remember those first few weeks of hell, no milk coming in and struggling thinking how come everyone else sails through this, we’ll of course they don’t just varying degrees of their own struggle. I’m now 5 days over and they only want me to go to a week, I’m scared about another induction just trying my hardest to stay positive and not think of pain etc. I’ve been hopeful every single day that something will happen but no joy. I really hope you go in to spontaneous labour, I just didn’t want to read and run. I guess we never know how these 2nd labours are going to go, I hope we get more positive outcome. X

Hi @positivebex I’m sorry to hear your story, and yes I can totally relate to that feeling of how come other people don’t have these struggles. But as you say it’s all varying degrees. I really hope you go into labour naturally too.

Just joining in solidarity at waiting patiently for a second baby after a first induction, mine was at 40+0 and took four days to get to water being broken and another 24 or so then on the drip, ending in episiotomy and forceps (and infection) but fortunately my recovery was quite reasonable. I'm 40+3 today and got induction booked for 41+0.

I know exactly what you mean about feeling like your body doesn't get it, I had three pessaries and only just got to 2cm last time but I'm scared of just waiting so I'm going with the induction if we need it as I just think knowing what's to come will at least make it easier. I'm doing the walking and bouncing but nothing much is happening so I'm not hopeful.

Fingers crossed that the second babies being easier thing kicks in and also the fact that we know how the induction works (in reality, not in the leaflets or antenatal classes...) will give some reasurance and we know what to look out for and ask for.

@8dpwoah thanks for joining in solidarity! Yes that’s true - I have been told by everyone that second inductions are always much easier. So fingers crossed. And I will feel more confident sticking up for myself this time. It’s just so frustrating. Why can’t my body get the memo?! Which I know is ridiculous! Hope you’re feeling ok.

I tell you what if I wander in, have one pessary and get cracking I will be all over the induction threads here singing the praises 😂 I'd even take a bit of help with waters without a murmur. It's just the bloody drip that I'm dreading and that was with epidural just because of all the hassle that goes with it. I didn't know that I didn't have to go straight in it last time so I'll be keeping that one up my sleeve.

Have you got a date in the diary for induction yet? I've got my 'pre-op' Covid test tomorrow afternoon so I was really hoping to be at the hospital doing something more interesting but I can't see it happening.

Yes totally agree @8dpwoah - if I knew that one pessary would kick me off and then six hours later a baby that would be absolutely fine. It’s the drip I dread as well, because there’s so much that goes with it. No date in diary yet but will be mid next week.

No advice but I’m in the same boat and thought I would join totally miserable now and booked for Covid swab tomorrow prior to Thursday induction.

Can’t wait to get this baby out but dreading the induction itself. Really was hoping to avoid the drip but my body isn’t playing ball.

Urgh sorry to hear @GSD20! It’s just rubbish isn’t it. I really don’t think anyone can understand how miserable being really overdue is unless they‘ve been through it.

@Tessa2014 my first was early so I didn’t have any of this!
I’m going from acceptance to emotional wreck and back again on an hourly basis

Watching with interest (first baby, due in mid Dec), I'm 39 - not sure what to expect... Is there are a reason baby's are 'late' past their due date? Is it just one of those things, or is the occurrence of it exacerbated by risk factors?

@GSD20 well from my first time experience I totally know what you mean. However on the day of the induction itself I felt quite calm - at least I was finally going to have the baby! Also as it’s your second labour it will likely not take ages.
@anthurium to be honest I don’t know. I think some women are just more inclined to have longer pregnancies. There’s some evidence to suggest that if you have a longer than average menstrual cycle (mines 31-32 days) then you are more likely to have a longer pregnancy. But some women have their first baby at 42 weeks and second at 39, and vice versa etc, so doesn’t seem to be much rhyme or reason to it.

@anthurium from reading all sorts of threads on here (mainly second baby experience ones for me 😂) there seems to be no rhyme or reason who goes early (other than through medical intervention) or late other than a bit of theme for first timers to go a bit overdue maybe.

I went in for induction on my due date last time and she couldn't even get anywhere near my cervix, and it took ages as well, so I'd have definitely gone overdue with number 1. With this one I was going to be early due to medical intervention but that got put on hold and sure enough I'm now a few days overdue which is a bit of a head-messer when plan A was that I was going in at 37 weeks and as it kept getting pushed back I still assumed I'd have gone by myself by now, being my second 😂

Lol I subconsciously took in the rhyme or reason phrase from you there @tessa2014

Did any of you have a ‘pre induction assessment’
If so what does it entail? Surely there’s not much point as a lot can change in 2 days but I’ve got mine tomorrow

Never heard of a pre induction assessment @GSD20! Is it covid related?

I haven't been offered one this time but I kind of got one last time as I'd been sent in for an emergency scan then the midwife did me a normal checkover and tried a sweep, so it might be that? Chance to ask any questions you might have too as antenatal ward likely to be pretty busy.

If they offer you an examination or sweep it's up to you but I'd take it because you'll have an idea about how favourable your cervix is (have a look at Bishop's score before you go). I know my cervix was 'better' last week than it was when I went in with DD at same gestation so made me feel a little bit more optimistic.

Apparently it involves a Covid swab and assessing the cervix to decide what induction I’m likely to need?

They tried a sweep today but couldn’t so I can’t imagine there will be much change tomorrow!

Ah ok. Yes I've got to do a special trip for a covid test tomorrow but nothing else... You never know, a bit of a tickle round the edges today might mean a 'better' cervix when they check tomorrow 🤞

My 3 DC were all 6 days late, weighed 9Lbs and I really wanted them out. I went down the curry, sex, really long walk route on day 5 each time.
I don’t know if this is still a thing.

My first came 14 days overdue (labour started about an hour before my induction was booked)
My second was the same but quicker birth so born 13 days over.

It seems I just gestate a bit longer than other people!

I was still breastfeeding my first when my second was born and was getting definite contractions when feeding - it obviously didn’t induce labour any earlier but I’m told it had helped make things more favourable.

I was also expressing colostrum as I didn’t have a good time breastfeeding in the early days so wanted to have a back up plan. Gave me loads of confidence feeding in the early days as I had seen that I did have milk

So it’s worth a try!

I agree with the sentiment that for some of us our bodies just didn't seem to get the memo. In my case I had attempted inductions at 42/40 twice, and both times monitoring told us fairly rapidly that the baby wasn't happy so progressed to urgent section. I think the distress indicators were consistent with the placenta beginning to deteriorate so waiting longer wouldn't have helped any. (this was a while ago now).

Best of luck to all on this thread.

Really sorry about your last experience and how it affected you. I have read your post but if I were you I would go for an elective ASAP and be totally in control that way

Thanks @mrssunshinexxx - I have seriously considered an ELCS but I know that statistically second births are quicker and generally easier, so am really hoping for that.

Plus have a toddler to look after and worried about recovery after a c sec.

That's fair enough @Tessa2014 I had emc last June and due in 2 weeks so a small gap and hoping so much I get a smooth vbac