Maternal Request ELCS - East Surrey Hospital

[WorryMcGee]

Hi Mumsnet

So for a long list of reasons I want an elective C section. I went through all of them in detail with the midwife at my booking appointment, which resulted in me getting very distressed. Until the shaking and tears she seemed quite dismissive (although perfectly lovely on all other topics besides this). Once I had calmed down, she agreed I could speak to a consultant, has written tokophobia on my notes and wants to refer me to the maternity mental health team - all of which I’m fine with but I did also say that nothing will change my mind and the longer I have to wait without confirmation, the more distressed I will be. It keeps me up at night. She wouldn’t give me any more information at all. My husband is supportive and really helped me state my reasons at the booking appointment when I started to get too upset to be coherent!

Does anyone here have experience with maternal request c section at East Surrey? I can’t find them in the Birthrights stuff. If I have to move hospitals I would rather do it sooner rather than later.

Thank you in advance for any advice and guidance. I have done extensive research and this is the option that is right for me.

I don’t know specifically about your hospital but I do know that you 100% have the option to choose, stand your ground, evidence you have done your research and understand the risks, but ultimately feel that those risks are more acceptable to you than a vaginal birth, and they should support you with your decision. If they don’t, they will have to refer you to someone who is willing to do it, but make sure if that’s the way it’s looking like it’s going, you demonstrate you know all about NICE guidelines and your right to choose.

I just recently had my consultant appointment, make some notes about why you want one, why it’s important for you and your family, and also the risks of a section, and you could also pop in there that planned sections should be calm, relaxed and not being performed with any sense of urgency or emergency and therefore you feel that a lot of the risks are therefore reduced.

If you show an ‘informed’ decision, I think you will be fine.

Hope it all goes well for you xx

Thank you @Nov21 I will make sure I have everything written out and will stand my ground. It is 100% the right decision for me and I am determined not to be fobbed off, I just need to make sure I stay calm and don’t get myself too distressed while fighting for it.

@WorryMcGeeI hope it goes well for you, stick to your bullet points and fingers crossed you’ll get a nice consultant who is empathetic. But if you don’t, keep reminding yourself during the appointment it’s your right and your decision and therefore whatever they are throwing at you is irrelevant because you’ve already done your research and made up your mind.

Best of luck x

You definitely have the right to choose, however how many weeks are you? As you won't get confirmation very early on that you can have one.

@mummyh2016 12. When I asked how long I would have to cope with this uncertainty the midwife acted as if I hadn’t said anything haha

I think the earliest you will get confirmation will be 20 weeksish but you could also be waiting until 36 weeksish as well.

Can you contact or message birthrights if you’re unable to find the info on that specific hospital? Someone may be able to help you navigate things

I can’t wait until 36 weeks, I’ll be an absolute nervous wreck this entire pregnancy if I can’t get it confirmed before then :-(

I requested an ELCS today due to a 3C tear and a haemorrhage in my last birth and the midwife although supportive said there were hoops to jump through but it wouldn't be agreed and booked until 36 weeks, so I don't think it's a quick decision. My friend in a similar situation to me changed her mind at the last minute so maybe that's why nothing is confirmed earlier. As others have said, it is your right so it will happen.

@WorryMcGee

I can’t wait until 36 weeks, I’ll be an absolute nervous wreck this entire pregnancy if I can’t get it confirmed before then :-(

I was the same, said this to my midwife and she emailed the consultant to call me. I had my request confirmed at 26 or 28 weeks and was given a date at 36 weeks. Booked in for 26th Oct!

I am in the same boat
You need to accept they may not confirm until later in your pregnancy. You (sadly) cant haggle your way around nhs proceedures.

I have a consultant appointment at 26 /27 weeks and hoping to get confirmed pre christmas my baby is due in early march.
The wait is frankly terrifying
I have calmed myslef by doing research and already put funds in place to cover private if declined.
I would rarher go back to work early as i know natural birth would have an awful outcome due to my hysteria.

I had an elective due to severe anxiety and was diagnosed with PTSD by their maternal mental health psychologist. They booked me in as early as they could, no argument, and it was still not until around 24 weeks. That's just when they do it. Normally it would have been 36 weeks, but they made an exception for me because of my mental health.

If your consultant refuses you have a right to see another, and you can ask for a recommendation for one who will be more likely to agree. You will most likely be fine, things just move very slowly unfortunately.

Actually it probably was 26/27 weeks rather than 24. Didn't want to give you false hope! I remember it felt very late, but everyone I spoke to was surprised I'd been able to book a date so early.

I've had one EMCS and two ELCS ( in that order).

I found my 2nd midwife really dismissive of my request to have a section after my emergency one with an attitude of it might be different this time. She eventually agreed to refer me to the consultant who agreed to my request no issue at all, was only in the appointment about 5 minutes.

My 3rd midwife was completely different and agreed a section was the best option for me at my booking appointment and referred me to the consultant.

My appointments with the consultant were at 36 weeks for both DC2 & DC3 so I'm afraid you might have to wait that long. Can you ring the midwife hub you're with and ask them if you don't have a good relationship with your midwife?

Good luck.

Reading with interest as I'm also at East surrey and have an open mind about ELCS (essentially I just haven't had time yet to do my research and I'm a FTM and only 10 weeks!) I had my booking appointment yesterday and nothing to do with birth was mentioned other than me possibly being consultant led due to risk factors, but that as long as the pregnancy itself was straightforward, I may well only have to see the consultant once. From what I've read on here, most ELCS do not seem to be confirmed until much later in pregnancy. You have the right to choose and it will happen one way or another I'm sure, but it's going to be really tricky for you if you are going to be incredibly anxious for weeks on end.

I have just given birth with east Surrey but different circumstances so can't give you experience of the ELCS but I emailed them early on, addressing it to the birth choices team and stated what I has made the informed decision I wanted and they quickly came back with a call and confirmation that it could be accommodated with a "birthing risk assessment" plan which cemented it for me.
You could try that.

I'm at the same stage as you, lovely. I'm 13 weeks pregnant and when I had my booking appointment with my midwife I said from the off that I want an elective C-section. Primary reason being that I'm a bag of anxiety surrounding my pregnancy as my last pregnancy was ectopic and I nearly died because I didn't know I was pregnant and so didn't seek medical attention until it was almost too late (I thought I had just really bad period pain🙄).

Fast forward to this pregnancy and although it's not ectopic, I'm constantly terrified of what else can go wrong and find myself getting upset at every stage of my pregnancy rather than being able to relax and enjoy it. The thought of a vaginal birth utterly terrifies me and is the main reason why I've put off having children for so many years so the thought of a vaginal birth I don't want looming at the end of these 9 months sends my already anxious brain into overdrive. I genuinely think that if I went into labour, I'd have a panic attack and pass out.

When I explained all this, the midwife was lovely. She said she'll put me down for a C-section no problem and reminded me that it is my body, my baby, my choice.

I keep repeating that mantra to myself and it's definitely something you should try too.

"My body, my baby, my choice"

Rinse and repeat.

If you find yourself getting upset at appointments, take your partner or a trusted friend with you and pass them the notes you've made so they can take over. If you find the medical professional you're speaking to is not willing to listen then you absolutely have the right to ask to speak to someone else.

Best of luck to you and I hope everything goes well with the rest of your pregnancy

Hi, I had an ELCS at ESH six weeks ago. Mine was after a traumatic first birth and the midwives and consultant couldn't be nicer.

ESH has a high rate of C section and the lead consultant is known for it so I really hope it won't be a problem for you.

I was referred to see a consultant around 14 weeks, out of Crawley hospital. He said at that appointment a c section wouldn't be a problem, but like PPs they don't book it till much later.
Not until I saw him again at 36 weeks. I know that causes stress but the midwives said it was in my notes and I'd have an EMCS if went into labour early.

In the meantime I mentioned to midwives at every appointment and was told to self refer to the mental health team. I had to do this by going on the Surrey and Sussex Healthcare / ESH website, in the maternity section, your pregnancy journey and there is a link to self referral options by where you live (though sounds like you know this). I don't think they helped v much but I think it helped me to be officially 'anxious'.

Good luck, I think you'll be fine at ESH.

There is a Facebook page SASH Maternity with a monthly dashboard that includes delivery so you can see ELCS is quite high. Also other useful info.

Thank you to everyone who has posted, there’s some really great advice in here to follow. Saving to cover private if necessary is a good idea and will put my mind at rest a little more I think, just knowing I really will not be forced to give birth vaginally because I can pay not to if I have to will help.

The midwife I saw (who really was friendly and nice) runs a hypnobirthing course and was trying to persuade me to pay to go on that, so that might explain why she didn’t seem keen. It really did take me getting into a proper state about it before she would even acknowledge the topic.

I will contact Birthrights for help as well.

Also congratulations to everyone who is pregnant and just given birth ❤️

Your NHS midwife was advertising her private course to you? That's shockingly bad and I'd inform the hospital about it.

No advice about booking a section - mine was technically elective but was arranged about 45 mins before hand!

But it was a wonderful was to give birth, so sending you hope for the one you want.

Also get the NICE guidelines as it discusses maternal choice and being able to request a c section.

I was consultant led at ESH and it wasn't a great experience for me. Not the same situation as you OP, but I was not listened to and was contacted directly by SASH when I raised an issue directly on their Facebook page (after all my calls and emails were ignored!!!!) They couldn't do anything though. I was told by a consultant that they didn't want me to go over 38 weeks as I had a blood clotting condition and was also on insulin for diabetes - then got booked in for a section at 40+ weeks. Couldn't change it as they didn't have any earlier slots. And that was after me discussing my anxiety for the entire pregnancy about my sister having a stillbirth at full term. Their response 'well, that probably won't happen to you'.

My daughter arrived safely though and that's all that matters.

Really really hope all goes well for you and you get the birth you want. Oh and if you are unfortunate enough to see him tell Dr P I say 'fuck off you arrogant twat'.

@WorryMcGee, I'm not in your area but similar to you I have a number of reasons why a vaginal delivery would be horrendously traumatic for me, so I raised them at booking and asked for early consideration for a C-section.

I'm consultant-led and had my first appointment with my consultant at 16 weeks. As soon as I explained the situation she said I could definitely be booked for an elective section, which was a huge relief. I won't get a firm date until much further on (probably after 28 weeks) but just knowing that it will be scheduled has been a huge relief.

I'm also seeing a psychologist through the consultant's clinic, who's very helpful in relation to managing my anxieties about other aspects of the pregnancy. I'd definitely recommend checking out your local perinatal mental health provision - the contact I've had has made a huge difference to my ability to actually enjoy being pregnant.