Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Woolwich/ going through labor completely when being told your weak and that your not in labor

[SDees]

Hello all,

Hope you are all well today. I had what I would class as a dramatic birth with my first at the aforementioned hospital. I am now pregnant with my second and its not the labor that worrying me, its a repeat of the treatment I got from the midwives on ward 7.

I was 37 weeks and in for a check up, I had OC, low.amniotic fluid, high blood pressure so they decided to induce me that night. Membrane sweep and pessary later and I start contracting only I didn't know it. The pain got progressively worse. When my husband arrived they told him to go home and rest as baby won't arrive for a few days, so I was alone. The midwife told me to calm down and if I 'cannot handle my cervix ripening I will never manage labor!'
So I start worrying, and feeling more and more controlling pain, not given any pain relief, being told to go and have a shower and calm down. The midwife didn't check me once. But put her arm around me and introduces me to the next midwife on shift as 'this is Stacey, she can't handle pain, had the pessary so won't need to be checked until 11am.'
Which blocked any care that I was to get from her in the ward for the next few hours. Husband came back around 8am (we lived walking distance to the hospital) was told to leave again. I was still not checked, still alone and being told to calm down. Around 10:40, hubby arrived and didn't leave. I managed to fight for gas and air, which made me sick, which then forced her to give me an injection in the bum to stop throwing up and keep down my blood pressure medication. 10:50, a mad rush through to a delivery suit and my baby was born 11:04.

Then they asked me 'how long did your labor last?' Because the paperwork was completely blank. Only think written is was at midnight saying 'Stacey complaining of pain.'

I get really upset when watching things where women are getting care when having babies.

I have no idea how I'm going to manage this second one. And that was 6 years ago now. Who can I talk to to accept what happened and move on? My first born was healthy, which I am incredibly lucky for and I know this. But I'm close to having a complete breakdown everytime I think about it, and what could happen.

Who can I call? I don't want to throw around terms like PTSD because I don't think it is that, but I really do have a melt down whenever I think about it.

Help. Please. and thank you for reading this far if you managed to xxx

Ask for a meeting with Linda Mack. I think she’s still the head of midwifery at QE she can go through your notes with you and discuss your previous care. Explain to her how your past experience has affected you and is causing anxiety with this impending birth. She really helped me when I was having my 3rd and was traumatised from delivery suite. She sorted it so I could go to the birthing centre and it was honestly the best birth I’ve had.

I can empathise in a small way. My waters broke so they asked me to go in. Initially no contractions but they started shortly after. They checked me on admission - 3cm at 1.30am. They refused to check me again so as not to introduce infection.
I asked for some pain relief a couple of times and was told no because I wasn't in active labour and they could tell because I could talk through contractions.
I had to be moved very quickly to labour ward due to baby being distressed at about 3am, they checked to see how I was getting on - 9cm. I knew I was in active labour (second labour) even though she was telling me I wasn't.
I do think every labour is different, my second was much easier than my first. Keep advocating for yourself and get your birthing partner to do the same. Inductions are not meant to be pleasant so hopefully you can go naturally next time. If not then explain to them it all progressed a lot quicker than anticipated last time and with this being your second it's likely to happen even faster.
They shouldn't have made comments on how you were handling the pain, even if you were not in active labour, we all have different pain thresholds and the pain was also completely different in both my experiences so it's just not comparable. It's a shame they made the experience worse by being unprofessional and lacking empathy.
I hope you have a positive birth this time. Best of luck OP!

Poor you. I don’t know if this helps but knowing what labour feels like because you’ve already done it once, you will be able to really fight your corner this time round and they will hopefully take you more seriously! You’re in charge, not the midwife. Insist that they check in you properly. Make a fuss if you need to. You will be fine!

Did you ever complain to the hospital? I agree with asking for a chat if you haven’t done so already.