Just a quick update for all those who posted after I appealed for help! The consultant tried to talk me out of a planned home birth but in the end - after much soul searching and research (suggested by all you wonderful MN-ers) I decided to go ahead with the home birth.
I have to report my beautiful DD was born on the sofa at home a week ago, I used gas and air for the last hour but otherwise stuck to tea and toast and swearing as a pain relief measure! In the end it was so fast I never even had chance to use my shiny new birthing pool - at least it gave DH something to do what with blowing it up and filling it!
I had two midwives throughout, they were here within half an hour of my calling the hospital, set out all their kit and cleaned up afterward. They were lovely and courteous, and made me feel really at ease. It turned out that the cord was round her neck, however although they had a resus table laid out just in case, it wasn't needed as they guided it off as she was born.
This was a totally different and really positive experience compared to my last birth. I held my daughter from her first breath even before the cord was cut, which her dad and I did together. I cleaned her face myself and basically didn't let her go for hours! Last time it took me weeks to bond with my DS following a difficult hospital labour, this time we have bonded instantly.
I know home births aren't for everyone but I feel on top of the world about mine, and am so glad that I stuck to my guns about it. I am convinced that the labour was quicker and easier due to my feeling in control throughout and able to do what my body wanted to. Thanks for all the advice when I was trying to decide what to do - thank goodness for MN!