Homebirth - anyone had a bad one, or regretted their decision to have one?

[jennifersofia]

I have had both my babies at home and both times it was a brilliant experience. I have heard so many sad and horrible stories from women about their hospital births, I wonder how much of my good experience was from being at home. Hardly hear about homebirths that have 'gone wrong'. If this is the case, why doesn't the NHS encourage more homebirths?

I always wanted a hospital birth "just in case". As it turned out, I had no pain relief whatsoever - even the gas & air made me heave, so really, I could have been at home. My midwife was lovely though & the room was okay.

BUT (& it's a big but) my ds was born with a severe infection & had to be whisked to ITU within minutes, where he spent the next 2 or 3 days fighting for his life. This was completely unexpected as I'd had a textbook pregnancy & he was full-term.

I suppose what I'm saying is that giving birth isn't just about 'you' & which whale music you want to listen to, but also about your baby & the unforeseen things which can happen. They happen rarely, but they DO happen, which is why I'd have any subsequent babies in a (decent) hospital.

Glad to hear you had great experiences though - my SIL was also fine with 2 home births. Horses for courses!

I would have loved to have a home birth, but decided with my first that I was too old (37) to take the risk. I ended up having a c-section so a homebirth wouldn't have been safe the second time around. As it turned out I had a post-partum hoemmorage (sp?) which had nothing to do with the previous c-section or being in hospital. But if I had been at home, I might have died from the blood loss.

You can have a homebirth after a c-section - I have two friends who've had them. I'm not sure they're actively encourged though, at least one of those friends used a private midwife.

Personally, I'm a "just in case" person. The thought of a home birth fills me with horror!

I had my second at home. It was my MW who suggested it as I was fretting about having a v. quick labour, first time we only just made it to hospital.

My experience was brilliant. DD decide to make an appearance after dinner when there was nothing on telly (wish she was still as obliging). My waters went pop. DH started jumping round tidying up ("the house might be full of people soon" and I had a quick bath and waiting for MW. It was totally relaxed. I moved around a lot and gave birth on the edge of the sofa with a beanbag behind me. v. Comfy. Gas and Air kept the edge off and MW was wildly excited as I "breathed the head out". Felt totally laid back. After the birth snuggled down on sofa while DD had a feed and MW's tidied up and made tea. An hour later we were all tucked up in bed. DS slept through the whole thing and wandered in next morning to find a baby in the bed.

I'm sure it all went so well BECAUSE I was so relaxed and comfortable. No rushing to the car or bouncing down the lane, just calmly pottering about. Compared to my first delivery in hospital it was heavenly.

I totally understand mums who worry about things going wrong. I have all the same worries and we live almost an hour from hospital so it would be hard if something went wrong. But that said DD arrived in 1hr 20 mins. My main fear through my whole pg was that she would arrive at the side of the road. In my opinion that would put her at greater risk and if things did go wrong it would be much harder to deal with in that position.

My MW was V. experienced. I know she would have referrred me at the first sign of worry and I'm also fairly confident she could have dealt with a lot of problems if they did arise.

Now expecting my third I will most certainly be hoping for another home birth as I'm sure I would not make it to the local MW unit, let alone hospital but I will always keep an open mind. However without a lot of the stress and worry that hospitals can bring I'm sure that many complications are avoided because you feel more in control anyway, not everything of course, but a lot. Mums shouldn't be disappointed if they do have to transfer though. Its all part of the experience.

Have had two hombirths. The first (my second child) was unplanned (hospital sent me home twice saying I wasn't ready). It was so much easier and more comfortable to be at home that we decided on a planned homebirth for No 3. This too was wonderful, two great midwives, my own bed, my own shower afterwards, not being away from my other children.

On the other hand, I do not think we would ever have considered homebirth for a first labour - there are, imo, far too many unknowns.

jennifersofia I have quite a bit to say on this subject but no time! Except I had my ds at home and it was brilliant. Might post more later.

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This is all quite interesting, but I still would be interested to hear from anyone who had a bad homebirth, and wished they hadn't made that decision. Also, why is homebirth more expensive? It didn't cost us anything as the midwives were all from a team that operated out of the local NHS health care centre, something I understood had to be offered if someone wanted a homebirth. Did you mean it is more expensive for the NHS not the 'patient'? If so, why? My MIL told me that when she gave birth at home in the late 60's, she had full time (completely government sponsered) home help to do whatever (washing up, child minding, shopping, etc) for two weeks because she was saving the NHS money by having a home as opposed to hospital birth. How things have changed!

wwwitch, would be interested to hear your views on the subject if you have time!

Yeah RobinW... what do you mean by more expensive ??? I believe they are cheaper cost wise but yes they can be hard on human resources.

Jennifersofia... I know loads of women who have had HB and none regreted it (that they would admit to at least)... Usually when one decides on a HB it is a well thought through decision... not a last minute thing (unless accidental). IME mothers who go for HB have a different view and opinion of birth and the medical profession (actually that is also what some research on this topic says when they try to see if HB is "indeed" more risky/dangerous... but it isn't).

Havn't got time for a long one but my HB was fantastic,one of my best experiences ever. I too know lots of people who've had a Hb and hav'nt heard anything bad. Here in Bath the % is alot higher than the national average and the GPs/ midwives/hospitals are v. supportive. Having said all of that I'm not sure if I would have had the courage with dd1. It was having a "routine" labour with her that made me feel I could cope at home. It was great though and I think, for dd1, the fact that I never left helped her adjust to dd2 v. quickly.

jennifersofia, will write more tomorrow, happy to tell you my experience - but it was good, so may not answer your question?

I know this thread has gone quiet but I've finally decided to go for a home birth - had the kit delivered today and feeling quite positive about things. I was down for a domino before so it's not too much of a difference. I was a little scared seeing the kit with the instruments - I dont know what I expected as there is still a baby to deliver! My midwife has been very supportive but prepared me for the fact that things may turn out differently. I just love the idea of the one to one attention as with ds1 I felt like a nuisance and alienated from the midwives who weren't very supportive and gave me little guidance - ended up with episiotomy and ventouse - I know that may have happened anyway but I think with the right coaching I may just get this one out myself - fingers crossed anyway. Poor dh is being very brave but realising he may have a bigger role to play in this one. Did others find there was a difference to their partners participation at home?

I think poor dh was so mortified that they had cut me after I had said to avoid that at all costs - he still has nightmares!! I know now that it was silly of me to be so adamant as he had to follow the advice of the consultant due to a 2.5 hout last stage with little progress.

Great to hear so many positive experiences - just what I need!

DH was the same in both cases (in terms of involveemnt during the labour itself).... very knackered the first time... but the second he filmed, took pictures and served champagne

Don't forget you'll get 2 midwives so DH should do nothing.

How exciting Hughsie!
Good luck. How much longer to go?

I had 2 out of 3 babies at home and cannot rave enough about the benefits (in my case, anyway) of home birth. My experiences weren't in the least 'candles and whale music' BTW, but I did feel very safe and comfortable giving birth at home. My midwife for the first baby said she felt that home birth was not for everyone and that you had to be a certain type of person to choose it - accepting that 'what will be will be' is what she meant I think.

I haven't heard of any home birth horror stories either, although such a minority of babies in U.K are born at home now anyway that we are bound to hear more about things which were not so good in a hospital.

DH was indeed different in hospital etc. In hospital is offered "great" advice on how I should be using the gas and air (took it off me at one point as decided I was having too much - my scream brought the MW rushing in in panic - DG not popular!). At home on the other hand he left me to phone the MW and organise myself while he rushed around tidying up on the principal that the house would soon be full of people! Ever such a helpful chap

No seriously it was lovely at home. I think he was more relaxed too (once the place was tidy) and because I was happier he could just watch the baby arrive without worrying about me. 1 hour after the birth the 3 of us where tucked up in bed together (DS slept through the whole thing!)

It's only three weeks to go so I feel that I haven't got very long to get used to the idea - I'm off to get some big sheets of plastic today as per midwifes instructions as well as some pampers disposable change mats as apparently they are great for our bed afterwards.

I love the idea of ds sleeping through it - fingers crossed but I'm making a list of helpful friends locally who may step in to take him if necessary - unfortunately my parents are 1.5 hours away and although they would come straight away I'm not sure I want them in the house while it is happening - I dont think my dad would recover!

A friend of mine had planned a homebirth for after Christmas for her 3rd baby, after two uncomplicated hospital deliveries. When she went into labour she got cold feet and went to hospital anyway, she said she didn't know why, she was just sure that home wasn't the 'right' place to be. Her delivery was easy and uncomplicated, but her postpartum haemmorage was so bad that she needed 6 units (I think??) of blood and it was touch and go for her for a while in hospital. If she had stayed home she would be dead. I think in many ways you have to trust your own instincts - her husband thought she was mad goin gin when she was so excited abou the HB, but she said she just 'knew' - does that sound odd? I would have loved a HB with ds, but live too far from the hospital for that.

Hughsie, good luck with the home birth, my second child, dd, was a home water birth, ds (21 months at time) slept through apart from one brief moment where dp had to run upstairs v quickly to give him some water,
We had 2 sets of friends lined up to take ds if we had to go to hospital, but no need.

My midwife said everyone planning a homebirth worried about what to do with existing children but it always worked out ok.

Good things about being at home: I found that looking after ds during day took my mind off contractions, hence when midwife came round at 8 pm when ds went to bed I was 7cm dilated, being at home was more relaxing, and best bit was in morning when ds woke up we brought him into our room, dd lying on bed, and ds sooo excited, pointing to dd saying "Baby, baby!!"

WHat not to do - if having a water birth do not wait till 5pm when dp gets home from work to put up the pool,

Thanks JemW - that's encouraging. I'm actually planning to give birth upstairs to be close to the bathroom but may consider the lounge if it is in the night to be further away from ds1 and less likely to disturb him.

My 2nd baby is due in April and I've quite keen to have a home birth, my midwife is v. keen but reading this thread I'm not sure that I've asked enough questions and I'm not really sure what to expect (except perhaps a baby at the end of it!) Could anyone whose had a home birth give me a few more pracical details/questions to ask my midwife when I see her next please.

Hi ames, I had a homebirth in London in 1997. I don't know what you need to know but I'm happy to answer any questions you have. There was no mess though, which seems to be the thing most people worry about! They bring a home birth kit, which includes a sort of thick gauze like stuff to put on the bed and you have 2 midwives with you all the time. My mum was very impressed with this, she said "oooh, I didn't have them dancing attendance on me like this" (she had 3 of us, in hospital in the 60s). So anything you want to know, just ask. I had a really positive experience so am happy to answer anything I can help with.

Hi Ames,

I had 2 homebirths (99 and 01)... As it is your second baby, you are likely to have a faster labour and the 2nd midwife will come when the 1st calls her (though check with your MW if this is the case where you live).. the 2nd MW comes for the end... to help with the baby as the 1st will look after you once you have delivered.
You get (IMO) excellent support at a home births as

1. MW tend to love it!
2. You get all the attention

They will bring a resuscitation kit (oxygen) JUST in case

They will tell the hospital that you are having a home birth so that they know that a woman is labouring at home.... should you need to be transfered (2nd births rate of transfer is very low ... can't remember the figure though)

Agree - there is no mess at all....

We had champagne for the MW and ourselves when baby was born... which hardly ever happens in hospital!

They are likely to encourage you in your "natural" birth by avoiding the syntometrine (injection for 3rd stage) but again... check with your MW... IMO if you have had a drug free labour... why would you need to get an injection of artifical hormones when all is finished??? Squatting and baby at the breast wiull help the placenta to come out quickly... if it doesn't you can get the injection a bit later... ask your MW about this maybe.

If you have anymore question... just ask!

Hi Ames, I had 2 homebirths too and thought they were fantastic! Its true what WWW says - that most people worry about mess, but really there isn't any, or certainly none that you notice. My midwives changed the bed after the birth anyway, though, just because they said it was nice to get into lovely clean sheets, snuggled up with your new baby. And they were right! We also had a bottle of champagne for midwives and us and DH popped down to the local Indian a few hours later for a takeaway. Infinitely better than any hospital food!

Luckily, I was a bit out of it and concentrating on other things when ds#1 was being born otherwise I might have noticed DH nipping into the sitting room every few minutes as his footie team were playing on TV. And I thought he was boiling water and getting fresh towels

With ds#2, my mum was also staying with us and as DH is very squeamish, she ended up seeing her grandchild being born and cutting the cord which was really special. Good luck, Ames. Hope all goes well for you.