Home birth stories please!

[Royalgalas]

I'm 28 weeks with second baby and starting to think about where to plan to give birth (to the extend that anyone can plan for this!)

My daughter was born at 36 weeks after complications (PPROM at 34 weeks) but the labour and delivery itself was easy, uncomplicated and quick, about four hours from 3cm to birth.

My community midwifery team are strong advocates of homebirth and are encouraging me to think seriously about it. We're very close to the hospital (probably about 5 mins with blue lights if it were needed, 10 mins by car with usual traffic) so I'm not overly concerned about transferring to hospital, and the prospect of a heavy covid and flu season is making the prospect of a stay in hospital particularly unappealing.

So, any home-birthers? I'd love to hear other's experiences!

A few questions I have:

• did you worry about noise? I don't think I was especially loud when in labour before, but I don't love the idea of all my neighbours hearing me wailing!

• I probably wouldn't bother with hiring or buying pool - seems expensive and a bit of a faff, and I didn't have one with DD. What else would I need? Presumably a waterproof cloth and lots of old towels!

• How long were the midwives with you afterwards? Was there any support with feeding, or did they leave quickly after baby was born?

Thanks for any tips!

I had a homebirth with DS four weeks ago and 100% recommend! Similar to you I am 10 mins from hospital and probably 5 mins in an emergency, was induced with DD 2 years ago due to PROM but quick and straightforward labour - 5 hours from pessary to birth and 20 mins second stage, so felt confident aiming for home birth.

It was not a peaceful, zen, candle lit experience like I imagined though - mild contractions started around lunchtime, more regular by about 4pm, midwife arrived at 6.57pm and DS born at 7.07pm so no time for any pain relief, although it was so quick I didn't really need it.

Noise - we live in a small mid terrace house so I was worried about this too. Predictably once it got down to it I didn't care at all - sure neighbours must have heard something but they've never mentioned it! Pool - we did hire one from barefoot birth pools, blew it up, but didn't get as far as filling it up as everything happened so fast! Don't regret it though as delivery and return v straightforward and I would have been grateful of it if I'd needed it, IYSWIM. We has some cheap shower curtains from wilko for floor / sofas which were fine but a bit slippy to walk on, plus old towels/blankets etc to sit on and inco pads for straight after. I won't lie there was a LOT more mess than I was expecting, but midwives helped clean up and DH did the rest and house was back to normal by the time we went to bed.

We had 2 midwives (although the second one only arrived after the birth), they were both there when I delivered the placenta then I had to have some stitches so one did that while the other did paperwork and cleaning up. The first one then left and the second stayed for another hour or so, both gone by 9.30 so 2.5 hours after the birth. There wasn't really any help with feeding but I didn't ask for any and luckily DS latched straight away which was a relief after a slow and rocky start to BF with DD.

I loved my homebirth, I really think it set DS and us as a family up for the immediate postnatal period a million times better than my hospital birth with DD - not having to face the postnatal ward was amazing.

Random things that turned out to be useful - plastic chopping board to put under my tailbone for stitches to create a stable surface when I was lying on the bed, and footstool and toddler chair to put legs up on during stitches...!!

Ohh @Hep1211 thank you so much for this! Induction aside, your first labour and birth sound pretty much the same as mine - I was about 20 mins second stage as well.

To be honest, your homebirth sounds about what I have in mind! As much as I like the idea of low lighting and soft music and calm, I just have a feeling that this little lad is going to come fast and furious. I think I want to have him at home so that I can plan for it, rather than just not getting to the hospital in time.

What did you do with your DD? Did you pack her off to relatives in the afternoon? I know a lot of people have their older DC at home if they give birth overnight, but what if they wake up?! Argh!

You're definitely selling it to me. It's the postnatal bit that I most want to avoid being in hospital for. The idea of having a shower in my own bathroom, and climbing into my own bed, maybe even ordering something a takeaway (!) - it sounds bliss and a heaven on earth compared to the hot, noisy hell of our local postnatal ward.

We're also in a mid-terrace Victorian house. The walls aren't paper-thin, but it's still quite.. err.. cosy. Maybe I need to stop overthinking the noise aspect though. Like you said, I'm sure I won't care in the moment! We're really close friends with one side though, and I'm not sure I could look them in the eye if they heard me giving birth! Luckily, we don't share living room or bedroom walls

I have an old house with narrow stairs and the midwife preferred to set up downstairs near the exit doors. She was joined by a colleague for the birth so somewhere for the two of them to perch would be good. My mum was supposed to stay upstairs with DC1, but I think she peaked downstairs!

• did you worry about noise? No I didn't, I think I only made noise when pushing and it was late at night. Our neighbours were hard of hearing though!

• I probably wouldn't bother with hiring or buying pool - seems expensive and a bit of a faff, and I didn't have one with DD. What else would I need? Towels (not dark which was my mistake!! She was covered in black fluff!). Someone suggested buying a shower curtain before which was a good idea. The midwives brought 'puppy pad' type things so I didn't need anything really. I gave birth on the sofa and they just shoved one under me!

• How long were the midwives with you afterwards? Was there any support with feeding, or did they leave quickly after baby was born? They made me toast and honey after! She was born at 2:26 and they left around 5:30.

This was 4 years ago :)

I had a homebirth in May in Lockdown 1! I describe it as giving birth put without the crappy bits! DD arrived quickly so I opted for a homebirth for DS. My main worry is that if I went into labour that DH would not be able to make it back in time to take me to the hospital (where the parking is horrific anyway) and I would end up giving birth at the side of the road. I live approx 2 miles from the hospital.

Mild contractions started at 5:30am (1 in 10). Got in the birth pool at 6am and rang triage. The midwife asked if I wanted to someone to come out . I said yes as my last labour was quick and went from 0-100 very quickly. 30 mins I ring back and tell them I need someone NOW as labour has gone from 0-100. 7am - 2 midwifes arrive and bring G&A. 8am waters go. 9:30am DS was born. He was a whopper and back to back so took at while to push out! Placenta takes another hour to appear. Midwives clear up all the mess (they put about a million inco pads down on the floor) and run me a nice bubble bath clean myself up. DD came down to meet DS. 30 mins later me, DD and DS were cuddled up in bed whilst DH brought me tea and toast.

I did have a pool. I hired it it came in a box with everything you needs.

I put my pool in my kitchen/diner as it was easy access to the kitchen plus the floor was easy to wipe clean! I told DH to have lots of old towels on hand.

I live in a 1930’s semi and the neighbours didn’t realise I had the baby until they saw me in the garden two days later holding my newborn.

I loved in a flat for both of mine and didn’t worry about noise, really didn’t care and I was loud both times.

I didn’t bother with a pool, too much faff especially as you already have a kid around. Had a bath in Labour with ds2. Was fine.

They stayed a while to check placenta came out. I wouldn’t have injection. Then they check placenta, give baby once over and check you’re ok with beginning feeding and they’re off. Very pleasant indeed.

My oldest went to GPs second time for whole weekend which just worked out well. My friend had her six year old there with her, was fine.

Whole thing was brilliant both times. Recommend!

Oh and I gave birth onto a cheap Tesco duvet and chucked it straight out. Barely needed towels.

Both times I didn’t have any dinner in or snacks for after which was stupid of me!

@Royalgalas Yes my parents took DD about 4pm, she stayed overnight with them and came back the next morning. I did originally think if I gave birth overnight she could just stay at home asleep and I guess it would have been fine but actually I found I couldn't get in the right headspace til she'd gone!

I felt the same as you about planning for a quick birth and think if we'd tried to get to hospital I would have given birth in the car ha. The only stressful thing was trying to convince the midwife over the phone that things were progressing quickly, because even 45 mins before DS arrived I could talk through contractions so she was reluctant to come out to examine me, but I knew from my first labour that it was likely to be quick!

Having a shower in your own bathroom and getting into your own bed afterwards is bliss. Physically I've recovered much quicker this time and again think much of it is down to being at home rather than 3 sleepless days and nights in the hellish postnatal ward!

@Royalgalas Also someone above mentioned midwives liking to be downstairs to be able to get out easily in an emergency and they said the same to me at the home birth assessment. They also wanted a table to put everything on, we used kitchen table, and a socket - can't remember if this was for laptop or emergency resus equipment or both!

I had a homebirth a couple of years ago and it was literally the best experience I have ever had in my whole life.
I didn't worry about the noise, I didn't make much because I was fully in my hypnobirthing zone (I recommend the Positive Birth Company online course).
I did have a pool and I was really pleased I did because it helped with the pain (I didn't have any pain relief as I don't like gas and air). Also it contained all the mess and just got pumped straight down the drain afterwards.
Midwives stayed to stitch me up (I had quite an extensive tear), and to check DD was breastfeeding ok and to fill out their paperwork, probably took around an hour after the birth.
We had my mum and dad staying with us for the week so dad took DS (3yo at the time) out for a long early morning walk then took him to pre-school while I was in labour. I don't think I could have relaxed properly with him in the house as I'd have been too worried about him bursting in and dive bombing into the pool .
The best thing about it was avoiding the hell on earth that is the postnatal ward. After the homebirth I had hot buttered crumpets on my own sofa, then a lovely shower in my sparkly clean bathroom which did not have other people's bodily fluids splashed all over it, then I settled down with the baby in my nice comfy clean bedroom and had a proper nap to recover a bit, without having to listen to four other screaming infants, beeping machines, loud visitors etc. Honestly I was on cloud nine, the difference to DS's horrific torturous birth experience can't be overstated!

Thank you so much everyone, these positive stories are so persuasive!

I'm going to chat to my husband about it some more but I think I might try to go for it? I know that plans can change for any number of reasons, but having this baby at home feels quite instinctive.

So would a pool be worth it? How much do they usually cost to hire? We have the perfect room to set one up, adjoining our kitchen, so space isn't an issue.

I never made it into our pool. It was all set up in the dining room and DD arrived so quickly I never had a chance to get in.
I planned for a homebirth, but wouldn't have had a choice in the end as she arrived so quickly. No midwives as I flew through labour and had been told it would be 'hours yet'. We rang when I was crowning and I don't know how our midwife got here so quickly after (she assured me she didn't break the speed limit ).
I'm pregnant with no.2 and was told by the midwives to definitely plan another homebirth with subsequents because my labours will likely be fast again.

@SamprasTheRabbit oh crikey, that must have been a bit scary with your first baby?!

I wish we had a crystal ball for these things. I'm not sure my hunch counts for much really, but I can certainly picture giving birth on the living room floor while I wait for a midwife!

Hello OP and congratulations.

I had a home birth with my 2nd child now a 15 yo DD. It was in our new detached house bought while I was pregnant so I probably would not have done it in our 1 bed flat in London! I was very noisy. I will post layer as just getting off my train.

Hypnobirthing certainly helped me manage it better than I think I would have coped without. Although I remember cursing it at the time because what I had been taught by the hypnobirthing was telling me my labour was progressing and the midwife had told me otherwise and (being a natural rule follower and respecting my midwife) I didn't trust my own instincts.
I spent lots of time in the bathroom so most mess was contained to a nice easy clean area but I'm assured by others the homebirth midwives have superhuman skills at managing that end of things, although I'd recommend a shower curtain and towels you don't care for

I had one great homebirth and one terrible homebirth (I've also had one bad and one good hospital birth).

My first was in a flat and born in the early hours of the morning, the second in a terrace and born in the evening, but noise wasn't really a concern of mine. I never had any complaints.

I didn't use any birthing pools - I just don't find that relaxing and with all of mine I pushed on all fours with my head against something so we got a cheap divan that in my first was in the box room and in the second was in the office. I also had a birthing ball to sit on and all of the heating pads we could get - loved my heating pads in labour. To keep the mess down a bit, we used shower curtains and bed protectors, but there was still quite a bit of mess afterwards (I'm not sure how much, my spouse dealt with it all).

With my great homebirth, they were with me for an hour or so after the birth and then I had visits throughout the coming weeks. They helped me have a bath and then I laid in bed with my newborn while we talked and they finished up paperwork. With my terrible homebirth, the midwife caused a major issue (yanked on the umbilical cord repeatedly) and I had to have a hospital transfer for a manual placental removal - I spent one night on the high dependency ward and a night on the normal postnatal ward before going home.

During the first home birth, my DS1 was around, but went to bed at his usual time. He did wake up at one point during the night, but my spouse settled him. During the other, I had friends watch them in one room while I was in another.

My main tip is that the people are what's most important -- have good support and find out how you would handle if the midwives who show up aren't supportive. It's not likely, but it happens - been there, had that. My terrible midwives came in giving me orders and telling me how things would go. I should have sent them packing as that was a sign of things to come, but I didn't know what I know now.

It wasn’t any noisier than typical daily life, didn’t worry about noise.

Didn’t bother with a pool as I like being on dry land, midwife bought a box of supplies like incontinence pads and plastic sheeting. I collected some old towels and got a waterproof mattress protector. Midwives brought pain relief on the day.

They stayed to help clean up and until I was ready for bed, then came back the next day to check on us and helped with feeds etc, and we’re able to discharge me from home and do all the baby checks there as well.

For my home birth, 2nd baby I did want to have a hb from the start. I had found hospital unpleasant and felt now I knew what to expect I would be calmer at home.

I had support from the community midwives I went into labour soon after my waters broke in the evening and it was about 12 hours later DD was born at 6.30am.

I had a birth pool in a box, so that kept DH occupied while he assembled and filled the pool getting it to the right temperature etc. I went in for a few hours and it helped with the pain. I had thrown up so I wasn't allowed gas and air so it was my only pain relief

I was noisy - I would describe it as moo-ing, but I didn't swear. DS was about 19 months so he was in bed the GPs came over to keep him occupied then they took him to theirs for the day after the birth. I didn't really pay attention to the coming and going as I was fully engaged with the birthing process.

I had one midwife through the night she was joined by a colleague when I got close to the end. I got out of he pool to have DD, on all fours in the living room. I recall biting DH's knee so hard it left teeth marks! I had to have some stitches that hurt more than the birth! No pain relief meant i felt like a warrior but I looked like absolute shite afterwards (I have the photos).

I do not regret any of it. After the midwives left I took myself off to bed and spent the day nesting with DH and DD it was what I needed and wanted

The next birth was going to be a home birth as well but I ended up in hospital but the midwives pretty much left me alone till last stage and it was fine. No regrets.

Good luck with your pregnancy and birth, wherever you are.

Love these stories. I so want a homebirth!

My DD2 was a home birth, an utterly amazing experience. I had a traumatic first birth in hospital and decided I wasn't going to do that again if I could help it.
I didn't bother with a pool, expected to birth in our bedroom or the living room but instead, rather like a cat choosing a wardrobe to give birth in, laboured and birthed in the tiny downstairs bathroom of our Victorian terrace house. I shouted my head off -despite having done a hypnobirthing course- but never once asked for pain relief (unlike first birth where I wanted ALL the drugs). Dd2 was a complex presentation with her hand up above her head but it was a very easy birth, three hours from start to finish and ten minute second stage. TMI but no tearing despite the complex presentation. I honestly think that had I been in hospital it would not have gone so well.
Neighbours were out and heard nothing, and I wouldn't have cared if they had. A baby is only born once ...
Fabulous after the birth to be in my own bed eating a bacon sandwich and drinking a cup of tea. It was the most empowering experience of my life. We moved house when my home birth baby was three years old, and my only regret in moving was that we were leaving the house where she had been born.
There is a great book by Abigail Cairns called "Home birth, stories to inform and inspire" if you want longer stories.

@Philandbill

My DD2 was a home birth, an utterly amazing experience. I had a traumatic first birth in hospital and decided I wasn't going to do that again if I could help it. I didn't bother with a pool, expected to birth in our bedroom or the living room but instead, rather like a cat choosing a wardrobe to give birth in, laboured and birthed in the tiny downstairs bathroom of our Victorian terrace house. I shouted my head off -despite having done a hypnobirthing course- but never once asked for pain relief (unlike first birth where I wanted ALL the drugs). Dd2 was a complex presentation with her hand up above her head but it was a very easy birth, three hours from start to finish and ten minute second stage. TMI but no tearing despite the complex presentation. I honestly think that had I been in hospital it would not have gone so well. Neighbours were out and heard nothing, and I wouldn't have cared if they had. A baby is only born once ... Fabulous after the birth to be in my own bed eating a bacon sandwich and drinking a cup of tea. It was the most empowering experience of my life. We moved house when my home birth baby was three years old, and my only regret in moving was that we were leaving the house where she had been born. There is a great book by Abigail Cairns called "Home birth, stories to inform and inspire" if you want longer stories.

Beautiful birth story! I will look up that book thanks.

I had my third at home and it was amazing. Always been a huge home birth advocate, really wanted a home birth with my first but was talked out of it by the midwives and I wasn't brave enough to stand up for myself back then!
Second would have been a home birth but we lived quite remotely and much much further to the main hospital, so I opted for a stand alone birth centre and baby very nearly arrived at the side of the road!

So baby 3 was home birth, when we lived 5/10 mins from hospital.
3 hour labour.

• did you worry about noise? Nope, and we lived mid terrace with very thin walls! I know some mums who have just popped a note through the neighbours doors to let them know what any noise may be!

What else would I need? I also didn't bother with a birthing pool. Lots of old towels, puppy pads, shower curtain.
I used some plastic sheeting on the sofa, chucked an old duvet on top with towels on top and then some puppy pads. Midwives just switched the pads out once my waters broke. Also a separate stash of towels that can be warmed ready to receive baby - radiator or quick tumble dry!

• How long were the midwives with you afterwards? Was there any support with feeding, or did they leave quickly after baby was born?

My midwives left 90 minutes after birth. I had zero support with feeding - I think due to it being 3rd baby they assumed I knew what I was doing when i really could have done with some extra support, but apart from that they were fabulous and just sat in the corner out the way and left me to it, as requested.

Absolutely loved my home birth, see if you have a local home birth group, highly recommended going along if so :)

As this is my first baby I’m trying to prepare myself with as much knowledge as possible so if they try to talk me out of it I am prepared… and I’ll try to be brave!

I feel so much positivity around the birth now since reading and listening and watching as much on the topic (and hypnobirthing) as possible!

Had my second at home. I wasn't that fussed, but my midwives encouraged me and by the time I called them it was 11pm, my DS was in bed, I cba to go into hospital... so they came out.

Like you, my hospital was 7 mins away (blue lights), 15 by car. So I was confident that I could get to hospital in time if things went wrong.

I had 2 grade 7 midwives attend, they were AMAZING. My DD went back to back during labour and they really helped me through that: it wasn't more painful than my first birth (induced, hospital) but it did slow labour down.

I gave birth at 5am. The placenta didn't come straight out but they gave it a little tug (they asked me first), and out it tumbled. I was grateful they tried as otherwise I've had had to go into hospital. I saw above that the same situation occurred less successfully for another poster, so I guess it's a tricky call: to tug or to send to hospital for a manual removal.

After that, they ran me a bath, cleaned me up, made my bed, I got in and a few minutes later my DS woke up and trotted in to our room - and met his sister. That was wonderful.

The thing I hated about hospital was a) the push to medicalise birth and b) the after-care. Noisy wards, constant bright lights, too hot, no privacy, terrible food, stroppy nurses, no support. Being at home smoothed my recovery so very much. So that's why home birth worked for me; I was less fussed about the birth itself in many ways.

No pool. I genuinely don't care where I am when I give birth, I just want to be left alone to get on with it. It's 'work', I'm busy, I don't need a pool or music or lights or anything. Just time, space, encouragement now and again and a bit of help if it gets a bit much. And they look like a messy wet PITA if I'm honest - too much fuss.

Downsides: I had pethidine and G&A with my first birth. I swore blind the pethidine didn't help with the pain. Turns out it did! Definitely more painful just on G&A, which is all you can have at home. Although, as I said, my DD went back to back. So I guess you need to weigh up how well you deal with pain, and how you might cope with less pain relief and a potentially more painful or longer birth.

Good luck, I hope it goes well for you x

I had an accidental home birth, and, based on that experience, if I ever had another child I would have a planned home birth. There was no pool but she was a water birth (as I wanted) as she arrived in the bath. I brought her out, up and onto my chest and it meant so much that I was the first person to touch her. But, I have also realised that I had very straightforward births, and personally find water a really effective pain relief. Also, remember the baby hasn't read the birthing plan, so be prepared for plans to change.