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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Covid testing

26 replies

Maneandfeathers · 13/09/2021 19:30

I know women are being tested on admission to the Labour wards etc however does anyone know if partners still are?
Can partners refuse to be tested?

I really really am worried about having to give birth alone if my partner tested positive and could do with my mind putting at rest!

OP posts:
Greybeardy · 13/09/2021 19:50

Generally if people decline to be tested they have to be treated as positive. If they’re the patient then that means all the usual precautions. If they’re a visitor/partner they probably won’t be doing any visiting. Probably best to ask what the policy is at the unit you’re planning to delivery at though.

Original poster
Maneandfeathers · 13/09/2021 20:00

Thank you @Greybeardy.

DH is in contact with a lot of people and unable to isolate and I’m panicking about not being able to have him there. I’ve got no other family and my first birth was traumatic and I was unable to speak for myself Sad

So if he did test positive on the day they would send him home am I right?

OP posts:
User5827372728 · 13/09/2021 20:05

Yes if he tested positive he wouldn’t be allowed in.

What’s his job? Can he try and reduce Likelihood of getting covid in the run up?

NerrSnerr · 13/09/2021 20:11

Surely you'd prefer to go through birth alone than risk your husband passing covid on to people in the maternity unit. Imagine if they didn't test a birth party a week before you have birth leading to half the staff testing positive themselves leaving them short staffed?

THATmamaofMANY · 13/09/2021 20:14

I wasn't tested until several hours after i was admitted

My birth partner wasn't tested at all

This was in June

Original poster
Maneandfeathers · 13/09/2021 20:21

@User5827372728 he’s a secondary school teacher so 0 chance of reducing the risk! There would be no chance of him reducing class load in September or being able to avoid the children.

@NerrSnerr obviously I don’t want anyone to get Covid but equally last time I struggled very badly. I was left labouring alone for hours, had complications, no pain relief and and couldn’t speak for myself so DH made the decisions for me basically.
I struggled badly with bonding etc the first time after birth and DH did everything for the baby as I couldn’t. I had no midwife support once the baby was out. I am not sure if I’ll be able to care for this baby straight away or not and I won’t have any help if last time is anything to go by.
I can’t go through that alone without any support or an advocate…Covid or no Covid.

How do they test women a week before birth when they have no idea when the baby will come? Would we just be tested when we get there?

OP posts:
Bennetgirl · 14/09/2021 09:18

You both have to be tested before you go in. If you refuse, you don’t go in. I was in for monitoring last week and was tested on arrival.

Would you seriously rather he wasn’t tested incase he’s positive and risk spreading it to everyone??

I’m worried About this as well and I’m due in November. Unfortunately it’s the shit situation we’re in now. Is there someone else you could have as a birth partner incase he is unlucky?

kitkatsky · 14/09/2021 09:24

Nobody wants to give birth alone and lots of us have specific reasons why we shouldn't have to, but if he is positive he just won't be allowed in. Staff are doing a great job of picking up the slack when you do have to be alone. You can only hope for the best but prepare yourself for the worst

VaricoseVera · 14/09/2021 09:31

I had an app with my MW yesterday who asked if DH would consent to a LFT, she explained that he'd not be allowed on the ward otherwise.

Luckily he's able to work from home in the week running up to the birth (ELCS so know the date) but I also have two children in school who I'm worried will bring it home with them, so I do understand your concerns OP.

Tinydancer321 · 14/09/2021 09:34

Totally understand your worry. Have 3 kids in school, rife in school. If they test positive my dh can’t come! So will be having baby on my own. There is no way to Protect our selves at the min and I feel I have no control 🤦🏼‍♀️

Original poster
Maneandfeathers · 14/09/2021 09:54

No, I repeat I don’t want someone to get Covid. Hopefully it never comes to it but there’s always the chance.

As I’m not having a Caesarian I can’t even try and make him take a week sick prior to the birth.

Equally, I don’t want to die alone. I don’t want to be in theatre or seriously unwell and worried that nobody is with my newborn baby or wondering where it is and who it’s with. I don’t want to be stuck in a bed unable to care for my baby and have not a soul there for support when I suffered with PND last time.
I don’t want to be left alone in a room giving birth without my husband or anybody there to call for help should something go wrong.

I am estranged from my family and literally have nobody so it’s a huge worry at the moment Sad

OP posts:
Bennetgirl · 14/09/2021 10:15

I gave birth alone twice. Dp was with me until I wanted to be alone.

The midwives were amazing. If the worst does happen and he’s not there, you won’t be alone. Have you told your midwife about your concerns? She’ll be able to put your mind at rest.

Two weeks before your due date maybe get him to wear a better mask np55 and visor, keep his 2 metres from everyone and ask if he can skip assemblies etc. I’m sure the school will be understanding.

I’ve got two secondary school aged children so know how you feel x

User5827372728 · 14/09/2021 11:34

Your husband can try and put some measures in place to be more safe at school, for example, I’m trying to avoid moving around school at lesson changeover times- harder I know if you don’t have a permanent classroom base, I’m wearing a good mask in the corridors, I’m opening all my windows, I’m trying to stay 2m from kids, I requested an outside break/lunch duty, staff meetings are a bit hard, maybe he could ask not to attend the last few, worst case maybe he pulls a sicky in the run up!!!’n

User5827372728 · 14/09/2021 11:34

@Bennetgirl

I don’t think you can compare the situations as sounds like you chose to birth without dp that decision wasn’t taken away from you

Bennetgirl · 14/09/2021 11:40

I wasn’t comparing! I was telling her that even though I didn’t have my partner I didn’t feel alone.

Original poster
Maneandfeathers · 14/09/2021 11:50

Maybe I am stronger than I think and could Labour alone, I’m more worried about complications and being whisked away and not having anyone behind with the baby? Would would happen to her in that instance would a midwife stay with her at all times? Would she be wheeled to wherever with me?

If I was alone would someone stay with me 24/7? Last time left us in the room alone and just popped to check every hour or so but DH had to press the button to call someone when things went a bit wrong as I couldn’t do it myself.

Also if I was unable to make a decision for whatever reason who would do it for me if my next of kin isn’t there? How would they know what my wishes were?

I struggled with PND post birth. I couldn’t/didn’t want to feed the baby and DH had to step in. For 2 nights we were in hospital he literally did every single thing but I’m faced with being alone this time which is scary. We didn’t have a midwife pop in to check or anything like that.

DH has spoken to his work but as he is SLT he is expected to carry on as normal. The school is small and crowded and are not wearing masks any more. For example this week he has meetingsx2 plus an open evening and won’t be allowed not to attend, he’s already asked to be excused and they said no.

I know it probably sounds crazy to everyone else but it is scary for me.

OP posts:
Tinydancer321 · 14/09/2021 12:02

@Maneandfeathers I feel the same. I have also just lost my Nan/mum (she raised me as a baby). And honestly feel I’m just going to ball my eyes out when baby is born as I can’t tell her, I can’t send her a picture she was always the first person let alone not having hubby there. I would also need him to pick me up as have no one else!
I hate keeping the kids off and don’t think I can do it for much longer. But I feel sick. Dh lost his mum a couple of months ago, our mental health is resting on this baby, as it’s been
So tough.

Original poster
Maneandfeathers · 14/09/2021 12:14

@Tinydancer321 so sorry to hear about your mum!

My DS is also still at school although his school are much better than DH at the distancing thing.
I could get my sister to drop me off at the hospital luckily but I don’t think I feel comfortable enough for her to stay, she’s the only family I have other than DH but we are not close and I don’t know if she would make me feel more self conscious!

My close friend lost a baby (and almost her life) in Labour last year and that’s played on my mind a fair bit, I can’t imagine being alone for that. You just don’t know how it’s going to pan out do you!

OP posts:
underwhelmed1 · 14/09/2021 21:09

@Maneandfeathers no your baby won't be left alone. Understand your worries but you're not unusual in your presentation. You've had a bad experience and want someone to advocate for you. First timers need someone with them as it's their first time. Others want/ need someone for their own reasons. YES, you deserve someone with you but these are weird times and the safety of Mums, babies and staff is the clinical priority

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 14/09/2021 21:29

Neither of you have to be tested OP. It’s a bluff. You just politely decline and you will be treated on the basis of your symptoms and recent exposure. Direct from the RCOG:

“As with any test, agreement to testing for SARS-CoV-2 infection is voluntary.The benefits and implications of testing should be discussed with all women and informed consent obtained verbally. This discussion should be documented in the maternity notes. Units should support and respect women’s choices with regards to testing. The benefits and implications of testing should also be discussed with their birth partners.”
“ Women who decline testing for SARS-CoV-2 infection should be cared for in the same way as women whose test result is pending. Declining testing should not prejudice the woman’s care in any way.”

www.rcog.org.uk/globalassets/documents/guidelines/2020-05-29-principles-for-the-testing-and-triage-of-women-seeking-maternity-care-in-hospital-settings-during-the-covid-19-pandemic.pdf

Em45634 · 14/09/2021 21:43

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Pikamoo · 15/09/2021 06:23

How quick was your first labour? Where I live (not UK) they're pretty strict with covid rules and the procedure is both partners are tested and the woman can go up to the delivery suite to wait for test results (it takes about an hour in my experience) and the partner can come up once they have a negative result. However if the woman is very far along the partner is allowed up too. Either way until negative tests are confirmed you're treated as covid positive so staff in full PPE.

I'm expecting to labour quickly with my second so hoping DH will be allowed up with me straight away. In any case we'd both do an LFT before leaving for the hospital so that lessens the worry of a surprise positive result (or you know a little in advance and in a more comfortable setting ie your own home how it's likely to pan out).

peanutnest · 15/09/2021 06:39

I was tested the day after giving birth and every other day after that (in for a week with preemie DS). My DH wasn't tested at all. This was in Leicester in April.

DS was back in hospital two weeks later Sad I stayed with him the entire time, he was tested every other day but I wasn't tested that time.

Best wishes OP Flowers

Tinydancer321 · 15/09/2021 06:52

I will def be tested as trying for a home birth and been told it’s the first thing they do. If I turn it down I have to go in. Oh has to wear a mask they will ask if anyone has symptoms I couldn’t lie tbh

Pikamoo · 15/09/2021 06:55

If it's financially possible could you hire a doula or a private midwife to accompany you? That might take away some of the worry of having to labour alone.