Lifting toddler after c section

[kitten789]

Due to a previous traumatic birth I've been given the option of having an ELCS this time.

My main concern is that I won't be able to lift my toddler DS afterwards and that they will feel left out when the new baby arrives.

What is recovery like after a c section? And how long until you can lift etc?

Thanks!

Bump!

Hello I had a traumatic first birth that ended in emergency c section. My DD1 was 16 months when I gave birth to my second and I had the same worries as you as I opted for an elective section with DD2.

The recovery is tough, but manageable if you keep on top of the pain meds, even if you start to feel better and get lots of rest. Sadly, yes that means you won't be able to lift your toddler for at least a couple of weeks. If you try to you risk putting your recovery back. I will say the birth and recovery was 100x better than the emergency section. But you still need to take it very easy afterwards and only really lift your newborn. Do you have a partner, family to help with the toddler? I kept mine with the childminder a few days a week for the first month so I could recover and to make sure she was entertained and busy, not just milling around with me and the newborn unable to do anything. Family members would come and take her out too for a couple of hours. My DH did all the lifting of the toddler, bathtime etc. After around 4 weeks I was able to lift her again.

My best advice, although you can't lift your toddler is to give them lots and lots of fussing and attention. Chatting and reading and cuddles etc. The newborn really just needs it's basic needs met while you shower the toddler with attention. It seemed to work for us and she didn't seem jealous. Good luck and congratulations!

I’ve had 2 elective sections and found the recovery pretty good but it’s probably at least a month before you should lift the toddler, ideally 6 weeks and you also need to be careful about bending. The obvious one is get your partner to take their paternity leave plus maybe some extra holiday and to focus on toddler whilst you do baby. Also it depends on their age, it’ll be easiest with an older toddler, but make some changes well in advance of the birth and basically train them up! So switch to a toddler bed if they’re still in a cot and get them climbing in and out by themselves, the same goes for get on/off chairs, the toilet etc. If they are going to start at nursery, or up their hours do it well in advance. If you give them plenty of attention they won’t feel left out like cuddling next to you on the sofa, lots of activities where can sit at the table with them so you don’t need to bend like painting or play doh.

Good luck making your decision!

@Lostmyway86 thank you that's really helpful. My partner will have 3 weeks off and toddler goes to nursery 4 days per week so after his paternity leave it's just one day per week to manage and he can work at home to help on and off. I was going to reduce the nursery down a bit so we can all spend time together (they love nursery so don't want to stop all together) but think I will delay this until I'm fully recovered and have a bit of a routine with new born. That's a good tips about lots of cuddles etc, is there a risk with them kicking / knocking wound?

@LakeShoreD thank you, and good idea about the toddler bed, I was going to wait a bit longer but perhaps we will try it now to make things easier. I will stock up on some activities we can do while sitting like painting and play dough etc.

How old is your toddler?

I was bumping a double buggy up to the 3rd floor days after my section as I lived in a 3rd floor flat with no lift and had A 2 year old and a newborn. I was a lone parent so didn’t have a choice but to carry older toddler. You will be fine

@Garman will be 2 when baby is born

you really shouldn't lift anything heavier than your newborn for a few weeks.

use steps/stools for your toddler to get up to your level.
you can still sit on the sofa together and cuddle.

good luck!

My son was 2.5 when my second was born by csection. DH couldn't take time off, I was on my own with both dc from day 5. I didn't lift dc1, if he needed cuddles I told him to come sit beside me on the couch and we'd snuggle up, or if he was upset and wouldn't move I'd get down on the floor to him but didn't do that often, usually I'd be able to coax him to the couch. Probably didn't lift him for 5+ weeks and only then when absolutely necessary, burst my stitches on my first csection so was conscious not to do that again.

[quote kitten789]@Lostmyway86 thank you that's really helpful. My partner will have 3 weeks off and toddler goes to nursery 4 days per week so after his paternity leave it's just one day per week to manage and he can work at home to help on and off. I was going to reduce the nursery down a bit so we can all spend time together (they love nursery so don't want to stop all together) but think I will delay this until I'm fully recovered and have a bit of a routine with new born. That's a good tips about lots of cuddles etc, is there a risk with them kicking / knocking wound?

@LakeShoreD thank you, and good idea about the toddler bed, I was going to wait a bit longer but perhaps we will try it now to make things easier. I will stock up on some activities we can do while sitting like painting and play dough etc. [/quote]
Yes there is a risk of them kicking the wound etc. As your toddler is 2, hopefully they'll be able to understand that mummy has a sore tummy. My then 16 month old didn't understand and I sat with a pillow in front of me most of the time! Excellent that you have DH and nursery support. You could maybe drop down to 3 nursery days when he goes back but see how you get on. Just really really rest as much as possible so you recover as quickly as you can. And keep up your pain meds every 2 hours! X

Also I did think about a toddler bed for my eldest, but as she was sleeping through the night I decided to keep the cot so not too much change and didn't want to risk her getting up at night when I had a newborn. She's still in a cot now at 27 months and planning to keep her there as long as possible!

You need to wait 6 weeks- but with your DC1 in nursery 4 days and your partner working at home on the other day it'll be fine- that's exactly what we did.

Do wait the full 6 weeks though. I felt well enough to try to lift DC1 after a month- I then promptly got an infection which really set me back.

I have to say as well- I LOVED my ELCS. So so so much easier than my first, vaginal birth. Including the recovery. It was wonderful

Also I'm not sure how many weeks you are now- but what I found was that I couldn't really lift DC1 in the last few weeks of pregnancy anyway- so after the section he didn't really notice much of a difference! Was fine just having lots of cuddles etc instead

I could lift our 6 year olds a couple of weeks after my most recent cesarean, it was semi-elective as I went in to labour the day before elcs was booked for and I had scar rupture so lost a lot of blood. I was carrying baskets of wet washing the day after I got home which was day 4pp. Hubby kept telling me not to do stuff but I felt okay at the time, did pay for it later though I kept doing stuff (probably too much but as a mum of 6 I struggle to just rest). I was still powerlifting at over 35wks pregnant so don't see things as being that heavy.

Had one last month and recovery was nowhere near as bad as I expected. I presumed I’d just be in constant pain all day or be able to ‘feel it’ at least but it wasn’t like that at all. I found walking completely fine but the only time when I was in any pain was if I sat too far back in the sofa and tried to get up or if I was lying in bed and tried to get up, even when I rolled onto my side, put my feet down etc. The worst of it was over after the first 5 days and by day 7 I was out a short walk. I walked every day after that and just gradually built it up. By the end of the second week I felt basically back to normal but knew inside I probably wasn’t so didn’t overdo it. From the 2 week mark I think I was able to get up from my bed without having to do the whole rolling over thing. In terms of lifting I’m not sure. I dont have another child so I didn’t have to do any heavy lifting. I still haven’t lifted my baby in his car seat 4 weeks on but I totally could, I’m just not chancing it when I’m so well healed. I’d say probably after 2 weeks you could lift a toddler fine but it’s probably easier to encourage them to do things on their own before it so you can avoid it if possible. On the whole it’s really nowhere near as bad as I thought/had heard it was!

I didnt lift my 2 year old for 5 weeks..... combination of husbands paternity leave and visiting family helped to work around it. So tough but everyone I knew who had complications after had been lifting their toddlers.

You’re not supposed to lift for like 6 weeks but my toddler fell badly seconds after coming into my hospital room and without thinking I jumped up and picked him up. He wasn’t light either - about 35lb - but luckily it was fine.

My recoveries from sections weren't good.

I couldn't lift my son for about 3 months. But he was 3. Maybe I could have managed a smaller child sooner.

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences