Can't decide on a birth plan

[MissMarion]

So I'm 35 weeks and starting to seriously think about what I want my birth to be like. The problem is that I just can't make up my mind, none of the options really seem attractive to me.
I'm from France where epidurals and labour ward are the norm (never had a baby in France though), so it was my initial thought, but reading about all the risks is making me question myself.
There's a big push in this country for natural births (hence warning us so much about the risks of epidurals) and I like the idea in principle (I also really like the more relaxed birthing centre rooms), but the pain relief options there are just so unsatisfactory to me, like gas and air... (eye roll)
Would you have any advice to help me make up my mind? I'm feeling quite lost...

You will inevitably get lots of replies about not bothering with a birth plan or researching anything, just go in let them do what they want to you and be grateful for a healthy baby because you can’t control what happens.

My advice would be that actually it is helpful and useful to research what could happen during labour and birth, your birth rights and what the different options available to you are, the risks and benefits of such. That way you’ll be better equipped to have control and make decisions that suit you.

There is a difference between planning (and risking disappointment when things turn out differently) and being informed.

I suggest you are aware of the options, but go with the flow and advice on the day.

I think reading your OP the access to pain relief is the thing that's coming through clearest? That doesn't mean an automatic epidural of course but if you want to know that you can have access to the full range of options then you're looking at delivery suite I guess, I would hate to be moved mid-labour if I wanted to go up a gear.

Your midwife will talk to you about this at 36 week appt I think and your hospital will probably have a summary on the website about what they offer where, so that's a good starting point.

That said I wanted MLU and minimal necessary because that was the dream I was sold and needed induction, forceps, episiotomy (thank goodness for the epidural). I wanted another bash at MLU this time just to see the difference as much as anything else but I'll likely have another induction and if I go spontaneous I'll still be on the labour ward/delivery suite.

This time the only thing in my birth plan is no drip without an epidural, I'll let the rest figure itself out!

I would research all the options, and give birth in the place that allows you to utilise them. But leave the actual pain relief decision making until you see how you cope. You might be fine with just gas and air, need pethadine, want to try a water birth or opt for an epidural. For a first birth I would definitely want to be somewhere that all options are available to me.

I didn't make it to my birth plan appointment (I had my baby quite prematurely) and I was gutted that I didn't know all the options available to me.

Go in with an open mind. Birth plans don't often happen - the baby sometimes is just coming out whether you like it that way or not!

But it does help to educate yourself on all the options available.

Personally, I ended up unable to have my epidural (due to them being short staffed and my baby rushing to come out!) and had gas and air, then an assisted birth to get her out safely, with a episiotomy in the end. I wish I'd had better drugs, as it obviously hurt. I didn't know what was happening, I didn't know what medication I was allowed to ask for. I should have been more clued up, so my best advice is to be prepared for ANY type of birth, just in case :)

Best of luck x

I was in a lovely birth centre room, water birth with gas and air in the end. It was my first and the birth centre was attached to a hospital so I knew that if anything didnt go to plan there wouldn’t be too much difficulty getting moved. Is that an option? I was lucky that all went well and I didn’t need anything more in terms of pain relief or intervention. I think being able to be upright in the pool really helped me, of course everyone is different, but it was a positive experience for me. Good luck.

Thanks all!
@banoffeee @serialname @8dpwoah @YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake @Muma1992 @knightsinwhitesatin

I don't plan on having a birth plan at all. I've heard too many stories about women with a very rigid plan being disappointed (some even traumatized) when things didn't go according to plan (let's be honest, you can't plan a birth). I'm very open minded and will go with the midwives/doctors advice at the time. I'm even ok with a c-section if that's what's needed (I see some women determined not to have one).

I have done a lot of research as information is key. But I thought I should at least decide between labour ward and birthing centre, and the decision is really based on the type of pain relief you want... I'm giving birth at UCLH where the MLU is next to labour ward so I guess my options should be open...

I would go for labour ward, with access to doctors and pain relief every time.
Others will think differently.

My midwives suggested that birth plans be kept quite short, just covering the medical bits (and to be aware that not all births will follow the plan new mums may have)

I think mine was divided into 3 sections

First stage of labour
I'd like to be as mobile as possible and encouraged to walk around
I don't mind students being present
I'd like to be in the MLU

For pain relief I'd like to be offered first gas and air, then epidural (I react weirdly to codeine, so didn't want to risk taking pethedine)

Active stage
I'd like a water birth

Third stage

Do you want the injection to speed up placenta delivery?
Do you want baby to have vit k injection?
Do you plan to breastfeed? - would you like help with getting baby to latch?
Do you want skin to skin contact?

I didn't bother writing a Birth plan with my 2nd as I wrote one with my first and then what I actually wanted in the moment was completely different to what I'd written down. Don't bother with a plan, just wait until it starts. When it is time to go in decide - do I want to go in and get some drugs? Or do I want to go in to the midwifery unit and have support from midwives but no drugs? You won't really know anyway until you're in it.

@serialname

There is a difference between planning (and risking disappointment when things turn out differently) and being informed.

I suggest you are aware of the options, but go with the flow and advice on the day.

Exactly this. This is the 'plan' I had too (not written down, but DH was aware).

Gas and air is great!

@birdglasspen

Gas and air is great!

Gas and air did nothing for me.