Should I request a c section? FTM

[Riverrushing21]

Currently 30 weeks pregnant and v anxious about childbirth, to the point where I’m wishing I had just requested a c section- is it too late now??

I’m not actually worried about labour itself or about being in pain. One big fear is of tearing and having a horrendous recovery, incontinence, sex issues etc afterwards. I’ve read many horror stories about the recovery (or lack of) after 3rd or 4th degree tears and I don’t want to be in such a bad state after birth that I struggle to look after baby.

Another fear is of going overdue, (I know this is very common for FTMs) as I know someone who went overdue and had a stillborn, after no other issues throughout the whole pregnancy. If I had a c section, going overdue wouldn’t happen, and labour wouldn’t be able to develop into any emergency situations.

I know it may not even happen to me and I could have a textbook labour- is it crazy to even consider ELCS for first birth? Will I just get told no straight away? If it’s too late for me to request it now, any tips on how to approach a vaginal birth without all this anxiety?

@Imnewhere1991 what you have experienced sounds like it completely supports the argument of having a c-section and is exactly why I knew I wanted one. Sorry you had such a bad experience and your trust didn’t follow NICE guidelines in allowing you to have the discussion to arrange a c-section.

I’m just really pleased all of my years of worrying were for nothing and I made it to my date without going into labour early and avoided an emergency c-section. That might come across as smug but I’m just passing on information to try to help others have the same positive experience I had

[quote sarah13xx]@Imnewhere1991 what you have experienced sounds like it completely supports the argument of having a c-section and is exactly why I knew I wanted one. Sorry you had such a bad experience and your trust didn’t follow NICE guidelines in allowing you to have the discussion to arrange a c-section.

I’m just really pleased all of my years of worrying were for nothing and I made it to my date without going into labour early and avoided an emergency c-section. That might come across as smug but I’m just passing on information to try to help others have the same positive experience I had[/quote]
Thank you. They shut it down before even engaging in a discussion. I only wish I'd read a post like yours before having my baby. I'm glad you were able to have a positive experience and hope that others can do. 🌸

You will be encouraged to let midwife know of any changes in babies movement later in pregnancy, if they are concerned you’ll be monitored to check baby is ok. You could possibly ask for additional scans or get them private, if they think baby is small/big etc you will be offered a 32 and 36 week scan which can be reassuring. A lot of places won’t let you go past 41 weeks now. Have you considered how many children you would like? If it’s a few I’d personally be avoiding a section if possible. Hypnobirthing would be a good way of helping your anxiety around birth. I’ve had better recovery from a v bac than emergency and planned section, if have a v bac again if I was having more! Discuss with your midwife, they should be able to advise you. Good luck!

Wow I’m really overwhelmed with how many responses I’ve had on this thread! I’m seeing my midwife tomorrow and you’ve all really helped me think about both sides and things that I can discuss with her. I looked up my hospital and it’s rated ‘red’ for maternal choice c sections so may be tricky if I do decide to go down that route…

Thanks again everyone. Xx

@Aggy35

I'm a first time mother to be and I think c sections should be reserved for when medically necessary unless done privately. Harsh as it sounds those possible problems are a part of having a child.Should we all get c sections because we want everything down there to be as before?

Well, luckily for us other FTMs your opinion doesn't mean sheet :) I'm having an ELCS with my first baby because it's the only way I could consider having children and I have as much right to be a parent as the next woman. You do you and stop judging other people's choices. Also, "go private" - looked into that actually, only possible if you live near London. And no, plenty of women want to avoid surgery so there is no reason for everyone to do the same thing. Maternal request c-sections exist and still plenty of women give birth vaginally so no idea what point you're actually trying to make.

@Imnewhere1991 Glad to see you've changed your tune about maternal request c-sections

I've not read the whole thread, and not sure if this will help, but...

I think it's good to hear some positive birth stories. I had a third degree tear with my son. I gave birth on my back in stirrups etc. However, my stitches healed well. I was able to have sex 5 weeks later with no pain. 4 years (and another baby) on sex is great. Actually better than before. My NCT teacher told us that orgasms are better after giving birth.... didn't believe her but she was right for me.

I have no bladder issues either. I can jump on that bouncy castle all day.

My second birth was a beautiful water birth on all fours and no tear, no stitches.

I do have some issues with my tailbone but nothing that impacts life really.

I'm not saying this to brag or boast. I know I'm very lucky. But I think it's good to hear that childbirth doesn't always mean life long issues after.

I haven't had a csection but I have had major abdominal surgery and it was a lot more painful and slower to recover from than my vaginal births. I had big babies and I did have a second degree tear but the midwife stitched it and it all healed ok. It was by no means as painful as an abdominal wound. When you have your stomach muscles cut it affects all your movements for quite a long time afterwards.

Given the surgery I had experienced, there was no way I would have chosen a csection. It isn't the easy option.