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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Labour Alone - anyone done this?

25 replies

GetDownWithTheCygent · 21/08/2021 21:48

I have a 3 year old and me and DP are expecting no 2 in January. I don't have much family, mum & dad have passed away and DP family mostly live abroad.

We were planning that when the time comes, he would stay at home and look after DD whilst in go to hospital alone to have our second child. We don't really have anyone we feel comfortable to ask to look after our DD, so think this is the best solution.

I wanted to ask if anyone had been through labour alone and how they found the experience?

OP posts:

Emsmaman · 21/08/2021 21:52

Hi there, all our family is abroad and I didn't want family staying for 4+ weeks just to make sure someone was here when I went into labour, so we had 3 friends arranged to help with Childcare when the time came. I went to the hospital in the early hours of the morning by taxi alone and then dh joined once it was a reasonable time of day to phone one of the friends. He dropped our first DC off at their house and then came and joined so was there for the birth. He left soon after the birth to collect the eldest and brought her to meet us in hospital. For us this worked well,I'm of the opinion there's not much the man can do in labour, and I feel I had extra special care taken of me as I was there alone (not that I would have demanded it!) . I made sure I had phone charger in my hospital bag so I could stay in touch. Good luck!

Seriously79 · 21/08/2021 21:53

A friend form work was polish, both her and her husband's family were back in Poland and they lived in the uk, with their dd.

When she went into labour, husband took her in, and went home with dd. She couldn't praise everyone enough, they did everything for her, and husband came in after baby was born.

Good luck x

Lullaby88 · 21/08/2021 21:56

I practically felt alone when I gave birth to my first. The midwives/doctors were amazing. Gave me all the emotional support I needed. Couldn't have asked for more. I wouldn't worry.

PinkPlantCase · 21/08/2021 21:59

Would you consider a Homebirth?

dottypencilcase · 21/08/2021 22:00

DC1 was 15 months old when DC1 was born pre-covid. Love you, we had no one to leave him with and decided staying home with dad was the best option. It was fine. I was actually more relaxed knowing DC1 was with a safe person and in safe and familiar place than if he'd been elsewhere.

dottypencilcase · 21/08/2021 22:00

Like you*

Original poster

GetDownWithTheCygent · 21/08/2021 22:01

I don't think I'd be able to have a home birth as have thyroid issues. I was induced last time and had complications after the birth and haemorrhaged quite badly, luckily I narrowly missed a blood transfusion so I think hospital would be the safest place

OP posts:

Lou98 · 21/08/2021 22:07

I gave birth alone in May, not by choice but due to covid rules my partner wasn't allowed in until I was on the labour ward (I was induced) but things progressed and nobody checked to see how far along I was so I ended up giving birth alone on the induction ward.

Honestly, I wish my partner could have been there but I really didn't mind being alone. If I couldn't have my partner there I didn't really want anyone anyway, when I'm in pain I prefer not having to make conversation and dealing with it quietly in my head if that makes sense.

I would have no issues with doing it alone again if needed. Just take plenty with you to do, puzzle books etc to fill your time

Furtheron · 21/08/2021 22:28

My h had norovirus when I was in labour, so obviously couldn't come with me, or look after our older dd! Because it wasn't planned, I ended up taking my mum and sister with me, and leaving my 2 year old with my 17 year old brother, which wasn't ideal.
Looking back, it would have been better to leave DD with my mum, and do it on my own! The time in hospital on my own with the baby after the birth was lovely, just the two of us...
I say go for it!

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 21/08/2021 22:32

I did, unintentionally as XH was stuck somewhere and arrived just after he popped out. It was honestly absolutely fine.

SpecialDeliveryService · 21/08/2021 22:35

I did it five months ago and it was beautiful. It was a pool birth at a birth center, and I felt so calm and relaxed knowing my 2yr old was safe with his dad.

My husband was a bit sad to miss the birth of his second child, but he would also rather our eldest was with him and not someone he barely knew (because of lockdown)

And actually I think I relaxed more because he wasn't there- he's quite a fidgety person and his constant need to move can really irritate me when I'm tired or stressed, let alone giving birth.

Tinpotspectator · 21/08/2021 22:36

I didn't but I would have preferred it.

Derrymum123 · 21/08/2021 22:39

Tbh I truly wish I had. Listening to inane conversations for hours on end drove me mad.

marriedthegambler · 21/08/2021 22:43

I've had both my children alone through choice.
First was a 'natural' birth ended up in theatre and second was a planned section.
I think id find it weird to have a spectator.
Whilst I had no problems being in labour a delivering on my own it was nice to have my husband there straight after.

PeasPeasPeasAreGoodForYou · 21/08/2021 22:53

I wouldn't mind doing it alone tbh.
When I was in labour with DS I didn't want spoken to or touched 😂 literally wanted to be on my own.
If I was to have another I'd be even more at peace being on my own knowing DS is in good hands with his dad.
I would worry about him even with my closest friends.

Buttons294749 · 21/08/2021 22:55

I did with dc2. Found it really pleasant/relaxing/easy to focus. I felt bad DH could see his DD born but apart from that found it a good experience

Original poster

GetDownWithTheCygent · 22/08/2021 02:14

Thank you all for your reassuring posts, I feel a lot more positive about the situation now, especially knowing DD will be in good hands

OP posts:

Tr1skel1on · 22/08/2021 02:25

I did with DD1 wasn't planned but I did the entire labour and birth on my own. In a strange way it was a lovely experience, just me and her, finding our way.

Weatherwax13 · 22/08/2021 02:30

My story is different from what you're thinking about, but I hope it gives you some reassurance. You'll have (hopefully lovely) staff there, so that's the big difference from my story.
I gave birth alone at home with my last one.
It was a planned home birth (NOT a planned freebirth btw), just that labour progressed far more quickly than I'd anticipated and the midwives simply didn't get there in time.
It was one of the best moments of my life. I wasn't afraid at all. I was on all fours in the bath through the last contractions, marvelling at how I wasn't writhing in agony at this point as in previous labours - and suddenly decided to stand up with no conscious thought of why, and instantly pushed him out into my hands.
I felt I could leap tall buildings after doing that on my own.
It was really unexpected but so special. I think not having any "spectators" or anyone else to concentrate on meant that I did what came naturally and was really in a zone I've never experienced since. I definitely didn't feel alone or scared. Best of luck :)

Tr1skel1on · 22/08/2021 02:32

To put my comments in context, I was in a hospital at the time but they were so busy the first time they paid any attention I had a baby!

She's about to do GCSEs and is doing great so I think I did ok. Don't panic :)

Tr1skel1on · 22/08/2021 02:35

Weatherwax put it far better than I could. Giving birth on your own is a surprisingly lovely experience not many get. Enjoy.

Marty13 · 22/08/2021 02:35

Hey OP ! I'm a single parent and had both of mine alone. My parents couldn't be arsed to fly over (a four hour flight, not the end of the world), and even if they had I wouldn't have wanted them in hospital with me.

Anyway, the whole thing was fine (and by fine I mean agonizingly painful as most births are) but I didn't feel like the absence of someone with me made any difference. When you're in pain, you're just in pain, having someone conveniently close by to insult doesn't change that !

5zeds · 22/08/2021 02:36

Yes, I prefer it.

ShippingNews · 22/08/2021 02:43

Yes, both of mine were born with no family there. DH was in the Army and posted overseas, and we lived far from our parents . It was fine - I had them in two different hospitals and the staff in both were wonderful.

I really don't describe the experience as " being alone" since I had people there with me - they just weren't related to me.

ShippingNews · 22/08/2021 02:46

@Tr1skel1on

I did with DD1 wasn't planned but I did the entire labour and birth on my own. In a strange way it was a lovely experience, just me and her, finding our way.

I fully understand this post - with no family there, it was just me and my baby , such a precious time and I'm glad it happened that way.

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