So anxious about second time labour

[Darklava09]

Just as there post says really

I’m so anxious about labour the second time and have no real idea why.

There is a large age gap 10years so I’m worried that my body will have forgot and each pregnancy is different.

My last labour was quite good in terms of laboured quickly from start to finish 9 hours, managed on gas and air and had a small tear with no stitches and no intervention.

This time I’m just panicking that I won’t cope, I’m going to need help, I’m scared of the thought of getting stitches or needing forceps. I’ve mentioned to my OH I want an epidural and he’s trying to put me off saying I coped fine last time so don’t need it but the anxiety is crippling me.

Please don't worry!

Our bodies are amazing and remember what to do. No matter the gap.

I know the anxiety though as I felt exactly the same with my second a few months ago. My first labour was long stressful and did involve forceps in the end yet my second was a breeze and done in 90mins with gas and air - despite being 5 years older, not as fit as I'd like to have been and carrying a couple more lockdown lbs!

You've got this :-)

I am really nervous about giving birth again I only did it last June but ended in emc

It didn't work for me admittedly (I just cannot get in that mindset), but many people swear by the Hypnobirthing packs, and access to really uplifting birth stories which are good to read through.
If it helps you to manage your anxiety, I would personally ensure you've captured epidural on your birth plan. And mention it to the MWs when you do go in that you will be wanting one if needed. It really doesn't matter whether you have one or not, but just knowing that the option is there might help. You don't have to use it if you don't need to. But it's there, that's the main point.
In the nicest possible way, your husband won't be giving birth will he. When you say he tries to put you off, is he anti-pain relief during labour? Or does he think he's saying what you want to hear, in which case explain you're not currently in the same headspace as 1st baby and you just need him to support your wishes (as I do know some women, far braver than I, ask their birth partner to help them avoid pain relief and counsel them against it should they decide they suddenly want it during labour). Every woman I know would say, yeah, if you need to take all the pain relief!

@MisdemeanorOnTheFloor
No he’s not anti pain relief I think it’s because he reads a lot and our SIL is a midwife and they say generally if you have an epidural that your need for intervention is higher and can’t walk after etc but your exactly right I’m just not in the same headspace for whatever reason… maybe I’m more of a wimp with age lol

I have said on birth plan I’m open to anything but good idea to mention it though when I arrive. My SIL says though just demand it if I want it and no one gets a medal with no pain relief and she’s a midwife so straight from her mouth!