Planned c section? Please help

[SassyBoyMama12]

I’m due to book a planned c section. My reasoning is I’m extremely terrified of a natural birth being traumatic (first baby) and out of my control, I suffer with mental health issues so I am more prone to getting PND (according to MW) and I’m really trying to avoid this

She agreed it’s a good course of action as she knows mothers who’ve had elective c sections and had a positive birth experience. I know the work will come afterwards when my hormones are going crazy but I believe having a positive birth experience may help lessen my chances of PND.

However, I was speaking with family and friends a few days ago. No one knows about my planned c section as not everyone knows about my mental health struggles.

Someone said a statement “baby will come out when baby is ready” and although I know it’s a thing people say, I felt really emotional later on? I got really upset and wondered am I a bad mother for not letting him arrive when he signals it’s time? As my c section isn’t for our physical health, am I being selfish?

I don’t know if I’m just hormonal but the comment has really stuck with me and part of me is worrying I’m being selfish and only thinking of me

Did anyone here have a planned c section and have this thought? Or am I just a hormonal mess!

You're not selfish.

You're doing what's best for you and your baby.

You're having a section to help with your mental health.
You're anything but selfish actually. You're doing everything you possibly can to lessen your chance of PND. You're a fantastic mother x

My first was an emergency section after going over due, a failed induction and distressed baby. He did not know come out when he was ready, and waiting did nothing but place us both in more danger.

In contrast my second was a planed section a week before her due date, and it was such a positive experience. It was so calm and because neither of us were exhausted or drugged up from labour, the first few hours were so much better for lovely bonding cuddles and feeding. Whereas the first few hours with my eldest are pretty much a blur.

My second was a little smaller, but had no problems and didn't seem any weaker or more fragile then her brother.

I had a planned C section but did not agree to the doctors reasoning to have it early as I strongly believe that when the baby is ready it will have a smoother transition and less trauma.

I was offered at 38 weeks, then 39 weeks and refused both. There was no medical reason to bring the baby out prematurely. Agreed to 40 weeks but still felt that baby was not ready. Was checked for dilation every two days to see if there was any signs of readiness and eventually went in at 40+5.

Had a lovely birth and am so glad with hindsight that I stood my ground.