Requesting a csection advice

[DottyDotty91]

I’m requesting a csection with my consultant on Tuesday. It’s a phone call appointment. The reasons I’m requesting are my severe anxiety regarding childbirth/anything intrusive down below, and the fact I have gestational diabetes and the complications that often come with it.

My midwife is supporting me with this decision but I’m just looking for advice on how to convince the consultant to agree? I’m so scared he will say no.

They'll probably try to offer you other options first - induction, epidural etc. My trick was to have a phrase and repeat it every time they try to sway you. Ie. "I have made my decision, I would like a c-section for my mental health"

Ive just gone through all of this, my c-section is tomorrow 😬 my reasons were ‘tokophobia’ which I felt I almost had to play up as this irrational fear of birth. I have always had a huge fear of birth and I just wouldn’t even consider it, like ever. Had decided I wasn’t having children until I changed my mind when I was sure I could have a c-section approved. I don’t really see it as an irrational fear though when it’s extremely painful and a lot of bad things happen to people during it, some which have lifelong effects. To me it was the same as not wanting to jump off a cliff or get hit by a car, you wouldn’t describe someone as having a ‘fear’ of these things, they just wouldn’t want to do them full stop. I’m a worrier anyway so the whole process did make me quite anxious, waiting for appointments, not always being taken seriously by the midwives etc.

When I finally got to speak to the consultant I’d really worked myself up that she was going to say no, I’d prepared 5 pages of notes so that I wouldn’t back down 🙈 It turned out she was completely lovely and all she did was try to put me off by telling me the risks. They give you the most extreme version of the risks, many of which are relating to people who have tried giving birth vaginally and have then needed an emergency c-section, so really not a true risk of a calm elective procedure. I was prepared they’d do that though so I just said yes to everything. She booked it in there and then at 29 weeks (but didn’t tell me she had). I had another appointment at 33/34 weeks and was given the date and told it had been booked since the first appointment since I had been so sure 😂

My advice would be…

• go on the NHS website and write down the risks so you can almost be ready to say them to your consultant before they get the chance. You then can’t be intimidated by them.
• go on birth rights (maternal request c-section) and find your hospital. I had the figures written down for how many they had performed in case they said no so that I could say other people had had one approved. Also helps to know whether it’s green, Amber or red.
• have the NICE guidelines written down so you can make them aware you know your rights. Most consultants wouldn’t go against this now I don’t think! Mine said it wasn’t her job to tell me no.
• have your reasons written down. Emphasise the anxiety aspect of it and how this decision will benefit both you and baby if you can be more relaxed during your pregnancy. It will also help prevent post natal depression etc if you haven’t been forced into a birth you don’t want.

Just have it all written down and no matter what they say just agree you’re quite happy with it. She started telling me the risk of death and would I be happy to take a blood transfusion etc 🙄 I just said yes. Obviously they have to make you aware of the risks but they don’t make you aware of a single pro/con of a vagina birth, just described it as ‘nice and easy’ 😑 good luck!

They’re not trying to put you off by reeling you the risks. They’re legally (and morally) obliged to make sure you have given informed consent which means you understand the risks including uncommon but serious/life threatening risks and the common but less serious risks. If they don’t do this they are being negligent. Informed consent also includes making sure you understand the alternatives which in the case of elective sections include induction and normal delivery. I would horrified if any surgeon wasn’t doing this.

Thank you so much for the advice both of you! Extremely helpful. I will write down all statistics and facts etc this evening so I can be prepared.

I’m 34 weeks and this is my first baby. I’ve purposely put off having a child because of my fear of childbirth. I have tried everything throughout this pregnancy to feel better about a ‘normal’ delivery but nothing works.

If the consultant were to say no despite me making him aware knowing my rights (NICE for example) what happens then? Can I ask him to find me a consultant who will agree to it?

Also, what are the chances of him actually saying no?

@DottyDotty91 if you find your hospital on here you will have a better idea whether they’re likely to say no www.birthrights.org.uk/campaigns-research/maternal-request-caesarean/
If they do you just ask to be referred to someone who will carry it out, as stated in the NICE guidelines. If you’ve done your own research into it and come across as having considered both options I don’t think many consultants would say no