Mears - like Harrysmum I was really interested to read about the waters being intact. I have always felt this to make sense and yet have never read any proffessional actually saying so. Reading you words has meant a great deal to me.
Against my wishes (and the previous mw caring for me?s advice to the next one at the cross over), a change of shift resulting in a different mw examining me and breaking my waters with a throw away comment like "there you go, we will get a faster move on now" I was horrified as suddenly my whole birth experience changed from being calm and in control to being unable to cope with massive increase of pain (not prepared so was also very frightened) and agreeing to pain relief that in other circumstances I would never have taken (pethidine). The pethidine made me feel even less in control (couldn?t speak but could hear all going on around me) and to cut a long story shorter, baby became distressed, hb dropped, ventouse done - again with no discussion - (pethidine wasn?t working in terms of good pain relief and so ventouse proved very painful - was badly bruised). She arrived "safely" but was very sluggish, slow to latch on etc. etc. All in all, left feeling as if I had been violated (examined frequently with no prior warning or sensitivity to my contractions), my labour hijacked by an impatient mw and possibly my babies health put at a slight risk. Judging by the huge number of staff who ended up in my room at the end, they were clearly worried that something was going wrong - never offered much of an explanation or decent "debriefing" - depsite several requests at the time. I was so shell shocked that we just wanted to get out of there and go home to recover.
So, personally, I would never take pethidine again. I never like feeling drunk and hated feeling unable to coordinate my words and express my feelings despite being able to see and hear everything. The pain relief seemed minimal and didn?t notice any real reduction. The medical staff seemed to take my "enforced compliance" to mean that they could just get on with it and tell me what they were doing rather than ask - eg. "I am examining you now" - despite being mid contraction and me desperately wanting to ask them to wait or ask if it were necessary - seemed to have one every ten minutes, I believe a student midwife was "practising" at the time.... I even remember one member of staff leaning right over me and telling my husband "don?t worry about her now, she is totally out of it". Those words still haunt me - it was so frustrating not to be able to shout back at her "no I am not, I am in pain, and very frightened. Stop ignoring me and start treating me like a real person again." Interestingly, a close friedn?s sister who was a mw for several years (now on maternity leave herself) said that pethidine was often given to women by some mws she worked with just to "shut them up a bit and let the staff get on with their job"...not sure how much truth is in this but she is a lovely girl and seemed genuine when saying this.
Sorry to go and on - this post has uncovered a lot of deep seated feelings that I thought I had worked out of my system but obviously not! I am going for a home birth this time and hope to avoid all medical intervention as much as is possible.