If you tore badly with your first baby

[CharlieB93]

Did you tear with your second?
(Third degree tear first time round 😩)

3rd degree tear and episiotomy with DC1
Elective section with DC2 much easier recovery and overall a good choice for me.

I did with first. Was very nervous with 2nd as scan showed a massive head. I ended up having a water birth and the midwife said very unlikely to tear in the water. Maybe come out slower??! Can't remember the exact reason now.

No damage that needed repairing with DD1 and DD2, small split with DD3 who was 8lb.5oz born, followed several years later by DD4 and DD5, both delivered by C section for being Breech so black silk stitches to close the sound for DD4 that were a real mess and took over 6 weeks to heal, followed by DD5 who was my final baby, so l got sterilization procedure done at the same time, followed by a tidy up of the scar from last time and a neat closure done using staples that healed quite quickly once removed when she was 10 days old.

Yes. Third degree tests with both. I think the second was worse actually although I felt better. My iron count was far higher for the second so even though I lost more blood I felt fine. So top up!

Episiotomy and 3b tear with dc1. Repaired in theatre with spinal block. Episiotomy and smaller tear with dc2. Repaired in delivery room under local. Didn't have any more. Pelvic floor a bit iffy. No star jumps and rarely trampolines. Struggle to run downhill or do intervals because changing speed makes me leak. Had physio after first but she was profoundly unhelpful. Didn't dare go back for more judgement and criticism.

Yes. But the consultant stitched me up the second time and made a better job of it. I had my second baby in a different hospital because the first one was so bad. My consultant was really lovely and I think he felt bad that the first one had allowed a very junior person to cobble my perineum together so badly.

Tore both times, first time I did too much after the birth. Kneeling on the floor changing nappies, walking to the shops, sitting on the sofa, having too many visitors, having baths so stitches dissolved and wound reopened. Nightmare. Couldn’t walk for 6 weeks, discomfort for a year. Second one I stayed in bedroom for the first two weeks, rested loads, used a changing table, showered no baths. Only hurt for a few days.

As did I @MyFloorIsLava , best decision and experience ever. The only way I'd go again is if I could have an elcs

@CharlieB93

Hmm it’s so hard to decide what to do!! First baby - 3rd degree tear, repair in surgery, couldn’t walk for 6 weeks, walking like John Wayne for 12 weeks +. Felt like it really ruined the first couple of weeks. Also had pelvic floor issues for about 9 months (still have some remaining issues that I can live with) I don’t fancy a c section either though!!

I had exactly this with my first. Had to go to theatre to be stitched up as it was such a mess. Couldn't have sex for almost a year due to scarring and pain. Had 2nd degree year with 2nd and it healed really quickly.

Nope. Second was bigger baby but no tears. Third was even bigger but was an absolute breeze because I had him in a birthing pool.

No. I had a terrible time with ds1. Ds2 caused ne no problems. I didn't even need pain relief he came out that quick.

No, third degree tear first time, very traumatic ended up in itu, second pregnancy no issues.

Fourth degree with first and advised to have csection for second which I was very thankful for. I am not sure I would have had another child had I not already known a csection was on the cards.

@RaraRachael

I had an episiotomy with my first and tear with my second. Weirdly, the tear was less painful and easier to recover from than the episiotomy.

Yes I agree! Episiotomy with first, tear with second. Tear was nowhere near as bad!

Third degree tear with my first. I had assumed I'd tear again but I didn't. My second was a totally different birth and no stitches or anything

That’s the thing I really want another baby, but I don’t think I could cope with the aftermath again. My mental health took a real battering and I thought my body would never heal. Still a year on the scar aches but apparently that’s ‘normal’. Would I be allowed to request a CS? When I went to be signed off by the gyno (male) he said there’s no reason not to have another VB 🙄

I had ongoing issues after my tear, I found (and still find, to an extent) that I had difficulty controlling gas and some faecal urgency. It wasn't terrible, but DD was a big baby and DS was likely to be the same, so I wasn't willing to risk making it worse.

I can't compare my c section recovery, as when DS was born I had a complicated leg fracture, a toddler to look after, I picked up an MRSA infection in my leg wounds and then DS had very bad bronchiolitis at a couple of weeks old. So the whole time around it was dreadful! Fwiw I don't remember the c section wound being the most difficult part to deal with.

I had absolutely no issues getting a CS approved. My consultant asked what I wanted to do, asked "are you sure?" then booked me in no hassles.

I tore really badly with my first, stitched too tight and then needed corrective surgery to sort it out

With my second, they wanted to give me an episiotomy, but I declined. I did tear, but it was a neater one and it was stitched better. It was actually better than the surgery repair

@CharlieB93

That’s the thing I really want another baby, but I don’t think I could cope with the aftermath again. My mental health took a real battering and I thought my body would never heal. Still a year on the scar aches but apparently that’s ‘normal’. Would I be allowed to request a CS? When I went to be signed off by the gyno (male) he said there’s no reason not to have another VB 🙄

You can request a c section for any reason. It is major surgery though so they do need to talk you through all the risks. For you it's likely to be a weighing up of those risks with the possible risks of another vaginal birth.

If it helps, with my daughter I had a water birth and gave birth on all fours. I think those two things were the reason I didn't tear again. I also had a wonderful midwife who'd done an excellent job of stitching me up first time round. I was so lucky to have her again for my second birth.

How did you give birth with your first, OP?

There are lots of things that can help prevent tearing like a water birth (as PP has mentioned), the position you give birth in - avoiding lying on your back to push, a warm flannel on your vagina just before the pushing stage.

Also, what position was your baby in when coming out?

I had a 3rd degree tear and extensive labial tearing with my first. Had repair in theatre and was in pain for a long time. I was going to opt for ECS, but a midwife suggested giving birth might helps stretch the scar tissue and resolve the ongoing discomfort I was having. I tentatively decided to try. DS2 was much bigger (9lb8), and I did have 2nd degree tearing, but the midwife stitched me and I never really felt it. I’ve never had any problems since then.

I've just had my second baby via c section.

First was a vb, i needed an episiotomy and found the healing horrendous.

You are well within your rights to request a cs. They tried to convince me vaginally was best but I knew I didn't want to go through it again.

A graze the second time (whatever that means?!) it didn't require stitching.

^same

@HumunaHey I gave birth on my back (not by choice) was pushing for over 2 hours aswell, the urge to push didn’t come naturally to me. I’d of preferred to be left alone to wander and do it at my own pace but baby was getting distressed. I often wonder if the tear was caused by me unnaturally pushing.