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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Over 35 weeks and no birth plan for my twins?

29 replies

Mummytomylittlegirl · 07/07/2021 08:47

Hi,

So I understand that it might be ‘too early’, but I feel completely fobbed off and in the dark and it’s really worrying me.

Every appointment I go to, which is a lot as I’ve been having weekly Doppler scans, I see a different doctor/ midwife who just says it will be discussed later.

Twin 1’s growth has been slowing on my last two growth scans, and I have another one tomorrow so we should get some answers. But I’m worried they will fob me off again without a plan, and that I will have to go to 38 weeks. I am not coping with the pregnancy well at all, and I feel like getting a c section/ induction date could really help. Plus my family don’t live close and I need to make arrangements for my little girl.

Am I expecting too much? Has anyone been in this situation with the growth issue/ twin birth?

I still don’t even know whether I want to try natural or go for c section, I really feel like this should have been properly discussed by now but I’ve never even met my actual designated consultant!

Any advice or experiences welcome. Smile

OP posts:
MuchTooTired · 07/07/2021 09:00

I think I was finally booked in at around 33ish weeks for my DTs, to deliver at 38+4.

I shouldn’t joke about it really as it was serious, but at the time I was so bloody thrilled to develop severe pe (although I had no idea really, I don’t remember anyone telling me I was potentially in trouble!) because they delivered the babies at 36+5 and I was no longer pregnant!

I had met my designated consultant, but did get bounced between others who all had a different opinion on delivery - it worked out that it alternates between vaginal and elcs every appointment.

I think at your stage of twin pregnancy I’d not leave until it was resolved and decided Grin

BunnyRuddington · 07/07/2021 09:24

Hope you get some answers today.

Original poster
Mummytomylittlegirl · 07/07/2021 09:25

@MuchTooTired thank you for your reply! I know what you mean, I feel guilty as I know they need more time but I really just want to have them now. Sad I can barely move, or look after my 3 year old. I feel like even recovering from a c section would be preferable! Did your twins need some nicu time?

DH is coming with me tomorrow (I have been doing the appointments mostly on my own), so I think this will help me to be a bit more assertive.

I just need to know there is an end in sight, and everything I have read suggests 37 weeks is actually better!

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 07/07/2021 09:48

DH is coming with me tomorrow (I have been doing the appointments mostly on my own), so I think this will help me to be a bit more assertive

You don't need to be more assertive, he does. In my experience with PG, Birth, babies and children the HCP will nearly always listen to what Dad has to say and take it seriously.

RedMarauder · 07/07/2021 10:12

Have you looked into getting information from organisations like this one - twinstrust.org/ - to then use it to help you get the details you need from your obstetrician's team?

Bells3032 · 07/07/2021 10:16

Given that 60% of twins come before 37 weeks i would expect a plan in place well before 35 weeks. think you need to push a bit more to get something in place.

Original poster
Mummytomylittlegirl · 07/07/2021 10:23

@BunnyRuddington unfortunately I think you are right! DH is actually good in these situations so I’m going to have a chat to him about plans later. I feel like every time I go in, I’m so overwhelmed, trying not to pass out from wearing my mask and worrying about stuff like blood pressure to really assert myself much with pushing for a plan.

Thanks @RedMarauder I will take a look!

@Bells3032 totally agree, I don’t know how we’ve come this far but it seems pretty standard. I think it’s because things can change/ the twins can turn etc. so they don’t really like to plan until they know more about positioning and things.

I’m leaning towards a c section anyway, even though my first twin is head down. DD was natural but her birth wasn’t easy and I’m worried about my second twin currently being breach, the growth issues and just generally want to eliminate some risk.

OP posts:
Brown76 · 07/07/2021 10:32

You can ask to speak to/call the supervisor of midwives or clinical lead (consultant) if you can’t get a clear plan in place today.

lockef · 07/07/2021 10:37

I agree - your DH needs to step up for his DW and children!
The medical profession don't listen to women, especially pregnant women, he needs to get this sorted for you all.

Potplant · 07/07/2021 10:45

Mine has already arrived by 35 weeks because of concerns of slow growth. All good in the end. I had a consultant though and saw him every 2 weeks towards the end. Midwives just did blood pressure checks.

At 30 weeks I was given a date for a section, though they were both breech (twins don’t have much room to turn so not too likely). You seem way way behind to me.

Don’t leave the room till you’ve got a plan in place and get your DH onside.

DeloresPickleRick · 07/07/2021 10:52

It was a long time ago, but my mum didn't get offered a csection with her twins (my sisters) until she had delivered the first one.

I think you need to decide what you want to do and push for it. If you want to deliver them naturally, it is likely they will want to wait to see how you go. If you want a csection, decide when you want it and start pushing for it now. I know it's not the same thing, but when I had my second child after am emergency section, it was very much left up to me to decide what to do about VBAC/another section. But as soon as I said, this is what I want to do and by when, everyone went along with it. Then of course, I developed PE and ended up having him a week earlier anyway.

Original poster
Mummytomylittlegirl · 07/07/2021 10:53

Just to say, DH has been supportive. It’s just this is all very different from my singleton pregnancy- plus we have moved to a different area! Smile

@Potplant wow! I do feel very behind then. It’s odd because I see the nurse for all the blood pressure stuff, and then a midwife who doesn’t really know much about twins. All they do is ask some questions about my mental health etc. get the doctor to check my notes and send me on my way! One midwife even asked me what type of twins I was having! I’d seen her a few times before and she had my notes in her hands…

I have been asking about birth options at all appointments, and I think they will be open minded but nothing has been explained or recommended to me.

Glad it’s not just me being overly worried and that it does make sense to have a plan in place by now! I’m hoping it’s a case of seeing twin one’s growth and then we can push forward.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummytomylittlegirl · 07/07/2021 10:54

@DeloresPickleRick thank you. I think you are right in that if I say I want a c section I might be able to get that booked and sorted. It’s just such a hard decision.

OP posts:
sarah13xx · 07/07/2021 15:29

Hopefully you’ll get some answers soon! I’m 35 weeks (not twins though) and I have a c-section booked. My midwife hasn’t had time to do a birth plan with me though so if I hadn’t had that booked separately to my appointments I still wouldn’t have any plan for labour etc. My friend had her baby naturally at the end of the 36th week. I just think it’s crazy how laidback they are about the whole thing 🤷🏼‍♀️ If I was you I’d find out as much as you can and just make the decision on your own then if you want a section ask to get a date booked in asap. I feel like if you aren’t just constantly hassling them they seem to just forget about you. Theres so many babies due this summer as well that I think the c-section lists and wards are so busy that they can’t always fit people in when they need to be in 🤦🏼‍♀️

Nettleskeins · 07/07/2021 15:45

Tbh, as uncomfortable as you might feel, the 38 weeks mark is a good goal. The bigger they are the better it will be in terms of feeding issues. Mine were low weight (6 and 5 Lbs) and tbh after the caesarian (booked as I had a previous c section) my milk didn't come in and they were poor feeders in general. DD had reflux too, immature digestive system I guess. DS got jaundice.
I was told to have a c section but I wonder now whether outcomes might have been better if I had continued to my due date (40 weeks) and had them naturally, stayed only short time in hospital. Caring for two sleepy underweight little mites whilst recovering from c section was difficult. And a toddler too. No family help except DH.
Consider everything.

Nettleskeins · 07/07/2021 15:46

Mine are strapping 19 year olds now, mindWink

SleepingStandingUp · 07/07/2021 15:49

I'd Def got my date by now op. Do babies have their own sacs? Here it's 37 weeks for sharing a sac and 38 for not generally. I had elective c sec as I had c sec with eldest and needed to sort hospice accomodation for him and it gave me more control.

Def ask them if you can agree a date for the c section if you want it, or if they recommend induction and if you need to book a date for that.

Nettleskeins · 07/07/2021 15:50

Mine didn't suffer from restricted growth in womb though. But I was very much told I had to have them at 37 + 4 days week mark whether I wanted to or not.
Twin babies are more work out than in, I can assure you.

Potplant · 07/07/2021 16:03

Twin babies are more work out than in, I can assure you

Wish I could like this comment a billion times.

Original poster
Mummytomylittlegirl · 07/07/2021 17:16

Thank you all. They are boy/ girl twins so seperate placentas.

I totally get it will be very hard work when they are here. DD’s birth wasn’t smooth (born at full term), and feeding was a challenge. She was a very unsettled baby due to undiagnosed CMPA, so I feel like she’s broken us in nicely! I just am so immobile and feel like I’m in so much pain, I’m anxious and can’t sleep at all.

Going to research some pros/ cons on c sections vs natural and try to go in with a clear plan tomorrow. Depending on how my little boy has grown the decision may be made for me anyway. I do feel forgotten but understand it must be a busy summer for babies!

OP posts:
Radio4ordie · 07/07/2021 17:20

They do seem to like to keep you guessing!
From my experience of friends and family all the twin mums had c sections either by plan or an emergency. So I’d at least mentally prepare for that possibility.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/07/2021 17:55

I'm so grateful our hospital has a few specialist consultant who have all the twin Mom's between them and one specialist twin midwife

MuchTooTired · 07/07/2021 21:04

@Mummytomylittlegirl I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to be (let’s face it!) way past heavily pregnant and have a 3 year old. You rock! If it’s any consolation, I had so much more sleep with newborn twins than I did for the last 3 months of pregnancy.

They tried to get me to 37 weeks but on the day I had them the dr came round in the morning, looked at my info and said they’re coming out today. I’d already had the lung jabs for them. They didn’t spend any time in nicu, DT2 was whisked off to scbu as she wasn’t breathing properly when she was born but joined us in the recovery room a bit later. We were kept in for two days to monitor their blood sugars, but they were with me on the ward.

I wish you the very best of luck tomorrow getting it sorted! Once I had my elcs date I’d cross each day off as it ended so I knew I’d not be pregnant in X days which really helped me to hang on in there.

BunnyRuddington · 08/07/2021 10:19

Is your appointment today @Mummytomylittlegirl. Hoping you get/have got the information you need to make a choice and they are talking to you about what's going to happen Thanks

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 08/07/2021 10:23

Are you seeing a consultant or just the midwife? I think c sections have to be booked by the consultant.