Pushing

[Welshcake15]

With my first labour my baby was back to back for most of the labour. For the time that I was pushing I felt like I was pushing, but there wasn't anything there to push out or against, if that makes sense? I pushed for 4.5 hours in total before ending up with a forceps delivery. My baby did turn the right way round before the forceps were put on, and he was at +1 station at that point, so properly engaged, but in all honesty I don't remember it feeling any different to how it felt when I went into labour (or even before I went into labour). As I had a spinal with the forceps delivery I have no idea what it feels like when you're actually pushing the baby out.

I'm now pregnant again, and have no idea what to expect from labour. Did anyone else have a similar experience with pushing and not feeling like you were pushing anything? If you had forceps delivery the first time did you manage to have an unassisted birth the second time?

The only way I can describe it, is it feels as if you're going for a poo. Sorry, but there it is. To the point where with my first, I nearly got into an argument with the midwife because I was adament I needed to go to the toilet - but she was right, it was the baby.

Does that sounds like your experience?

No, I didn't have any of the needing a poo sensation at all, which is why I'm confused. I just don't know what I should expect. I know very well what the contractions feel like after over 24 hours of labour (12+ hours early labour and 12 hours of active labour), but no idea what it feels like when you're actually properly pushing (as clearly I wasn't doing it properly!)

It just generally felt like hard work and near impossible. It didn't actually feel psinful to me but perhaps that was psychological relief as I had a very long and painful labour. When I was able to push I was just do happy the end was in sight. Once the head was out, the rest was a breeze.

I had a very long, very shite back to back labour ending in instrumental delivery with my oldest daughter.

I’m currently cuddling baby number 3 and both her birth and baby 2 were worlds apart from my first.

I didn’t actively push either 2 or 3 out, my body literally ejected the little buggers!

My first birth was 36 hours
My second was 3.5 hours
My third under 2 hours of active labour

I’m highly recommend the positive birth company.

@Sexnotgender

I had a very long, very shite back to back labour ending in instrumental delivery with my oldest daughter.

I’m currently cuddling baby number 3 and both her birth and baby 2 were worlds apart from my first.

I didn’t actively push either 2 or 3 out, my body literally ejected the little buggers!

My first birth was 36 hours
My second was 3.5 hours
My third under 2 hours of active labour

I’m highly recommend the positive birth company.

It's good to know that it your subsequent births were easier than your first! I'm hoping my body will know a lot more what it is doing this time around and things be quicker and easier.

I did the PBC Digital Pack for my first. It was great in many ways and I managed to remain calm throughout everything that happened with the birth, but I'm not sure yet if I'll go down that route with the second as I think it contributed to an idealised version of birth in my head which caused me to become quite upset about the birth in the months that followed.

I pushed and i mean pushed for 2 hours with DD for my vbac. It didn't feel like a massive poo, I didnt have an urge to push really, it wasnt anymore painful than earlier in labour. It was painful and very uncomfortable and a great relief when she was out.
The actual pushing was exhausting and i had very sore muscles for the next few days. Didn't feel the crowning as I had an episiotomy and loads of local anaesthetic.

@HumunaHey

It just generally felt like hard work and near impossible. It didn't actually feel psinful to me but perhaps that was psychological relief as I had a very long and painful labour. When I was able to push I was just do happy the end was in sight. Once the head was out, the rest was a breeze.

I didn't get as far as actually pushing the baby out myself, but I know what you mean about not remembering what I did experience as painful! However, I do remember the sheer relief of the spinal anaesthetic and no longer being able to feel contractions as after 24 hours of the buggers I was done!

I can understand it might present and idealised idea of birth where you breathe your baby out.
For me it was more about knowing the science and mechanics of what my body was doing.
I totally got in the zone with baby 3 and had such a positive experience. I’d literally do it again tomorrow if I had to.
It also helped with the anxiety over my first birth. I was so worried I’d not cope as my first was so awful I cried at my antenatal appointments as I was so traumatised.

I really struggled with the pushing it didn’t feel like I was doing anything and I couldn’t explain what I meant, I managed to get my feet against something and that helped me reallllllllly push down I can’t explain it but bear it in mind to try!

Can you ask for a c section? Pushing for hours sounds horrific! I don’t honk I’ve ever had to push for more than ten minutes and even that felt like more than enough. I honestly think you are a warrior!

I had forceps baby one, looong labour (Thursday to Monday night I think), back to back, no idea what pushing felt like, very similar to you I think.

2nd baby arrived in less than 4 hours from onset to delivery. I had no choice in what I was doing with him, my body was pushing him out and I just kind of went with it. It didn't feel like a poo to me but just this overwhelming primal kind of need to open my legs and bear down as hard as I could. It was painful of course (told my husband it was like someone had set my vagina on fire apparently, between pushes) but also weirdly pleasurable that my body was doing this amazing thing and I was along for the ride.

@Victoriantiles

Can you ask for a c section? Pushing for hours sounds horrific! I don’t honk I’ve ever had to push for more than ten minutes and even that felt like more than enough. I honestly think you are a warrior!

I'm fairly adamant I don't want c section if I can help it. Even with everything that happened my recovery was fine and a lot quicker than friends who had sections.

Hopefully things will be a bit smoother this time round!

Interesting about all the long pushers. I had my babies in Ireland and they give you an hour to push before they start looking at other interventions. Literally they put a timer on.

My experience was that it felt like my insides were pushing itself out and I had to help it along. A horrible feeling but good knowing the end was in sight.

@MistyFrequencies

I had forceps baby one, looong labour (Thursday to Monday night I think), back to back, no idea what pushing felt like, very similar to you I think.

2nd baby arrived in less than 4 hours from onset to delivery. I had no choice in what I was doing with him, my body was pushing him out and I just kind of went with it. It didn't feel like a poo to me but just this overwhelming primal kind of need to open my legs and bear down as hard as I could. It was painful of course (told my husband it was like someone had set my vagina on fire apparently, between pushes) but also weirdly pleasurable that my body was doing this amazing thing and I was along for the ride.

I had the uncontrollable urge to push, where I couldn't have not pushed if I wanted to, for the last 2.5 hours of labour. Unfortunately for me it just wasn't productive.

@MistyFrequencies

Interesting about all the long pushers. I had my babies in Ireland and they give you an hour to push before they start looking at other interventions. Literally they put a timer on.

It's two hours before interventions where I am. I was at a freestanding birth centre and needed to wait for an ambulance transfer, and then a theatre slot once I got to the hospital (there were no danger signs from the monitoring for me or baby, so we had to wait our turn), hence the length of time pushing.

DS was back to back & I was being told I wasn’t in labour as I wasn’t having contractions. I then had the urge to push & it was panic stations cos I was fully dilated.

Everything then stopped for about 2 hours until they hooked me up to a drip & then I was getting contractions properly. DS was born after two hours of pushing.

Completely know what you mean though about back to back, if it wasn’t for the drip, I wouldn’t have known when to push.

I had no urge to push and had no idea how to do it. Midwife told me to basically bear down and push like I was pooing. I did get the baby out after 2 and a half hours - it was incredibly painful and I tore severely and had a pph. I had a c section the second time- absolute bliss and much easier recovery! I don't know why some of us don't get the urge to push properly. On the plus side, I've heard second births do often go a lot smoother (although that was not a risk I was willing to take, hence the ELCS).

Thank you for all of your thoughts and advice. I think the truth is that until it happens it's all very hypothetical and I won't really know if anything is different. It is good to hear that people who had first labours similar to mine had much better second labours. With any luck it'll be the same for me.

My 1st daughter ended up being back to back and I was pushing her out for 3 1/2 hours until they took me to theatre to have intervention. I too had a spinal and couldn't feel anything! DD was turned and born by Vontuse (a suctioncup).

12 weeks ago today I gave birth to my other two daughters - twin girls. I was in the same boat as you wondering if I would be able to push them out and how. I had to have an epidural this time due to the fact it was twins - similar to spinal but I felt more sensation - one of the midwives was able to just press on the place I needed to direct my pushing and this really helped to focus my efforts - I think it helps enormously if you've already had a baby as even though I didn't really feel it first time my body knew what to do, both delivered normally 8 mins apart. I think you'll surprise yourself how easy the second one comes out - stay positive! If you can put up with the pain of back to back pushing you got this!

I did but I also had a back to back labour so not that helpful!

@MistyFrequencies

Interesting about all the long pushers. I had my babies in Ireland and they give you an hour to push before they start looking at other interventions. Literally they put a timer on.

That's awful! I'd feel like I was racing against the clock.

@mummyh2016

I did but I also had a back to back labour so not that helpful!

To be honest, if they hadn't had told me the baby was back to back I wouldn't have guessed. My back was fine and I felt all the contractions in my stomach. It was only if I tried to lie down that it hurt a lot in my hips and bum and I had to immediately stand up as soon as I had a contraction. The first 12 hours were exhausting because I wasn't officially in labour and also couldn't sleep either because I couldn't lie down.

DS2 was definitely back to back, DS1 was possibly back to back (can't remember and don't have notes).

I had to be told to stop pushing with both of them as I had an uncontrollable urge to do it from 9cm!

I found it incredibly helpful to read/learn about how posterior babies tend to affect labour. This was a useful video (she is quite peppy but once you get used to it, really good).