I hate my body after birth

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I hate my body but not because of how it looks.

I had my 3rd baby nearly 2 weeks ago. It was the worst pregnancy I've had - homeschooling in a pandemic, throwing up everyday until induction, gestational diabetes and insulin, reduced movements and heart rate problems.

Since having him obviously I have the usual bleeding and leaking and soreness and awful constipation that comes back as soon as I think it's sorted. But I hate it.

I hate my body. I hate that it hurts and feels sore and I don't know what to do about it. I hate it so much. I don't even know what I want from this thread but I needed to rant about how much I hate it. I just want to feel normal again

Your body is bloody incredible. You've grown a whole person from scratch in there. Try and be kind to yourself.

Oh OP, been there right where you are. You feel you’ve been put through a wringer and are a ruin. But it’s only been two weeks. Think of what your body has accomplished in creating life! Three times! It’s no small task and we’ve risk dying from it every time we go through it. Extreme sports are nothing compared to pregnancy and childbirth. Now is time to be kind to your body and treat it as well as you can. Admire the strength of your body and and it’s powers. Be kind to yourself and give your body the time to heal and recover. You’ve done amazing.

Time to allocate an hour to yourself for body-work every day. Explain to your dh that it's non-negotiable and you need some time.

Whether it's exercise and toning, or moisturising, pedicure, manicure, face mask, brows, but try to do something every day that makes you feel a little better.

Think about how you can flex your diet a bit to help. Try to put yourself first for that hour. It's been a tough year. It's still early days.

I think it's ok, you have had a really hard year and now you feel shit. There's nothing there that doesn't make sense.
Pregnancy and birth do a number on women, body and soul.
You have been given practical advice by PPs, my advice is that it's ok for you to feel shit and rant about feeling shit. This is now and you are in the midst of new baby, recovery from birth, a storm of hormones and tiredness. You will feel better, you absolutely will, but for now...rant

I meant to say it's been nearly 3 weeks. I know I should be amazed at what it has done but I just hate it for what it's doing now. I hate the bleeding, I hate my boobs leaking even though I'm not breastfeeding. I hate that my body failed at breastfeeding again, and now I can't even bloody poo. All supposedly the most natural things in the world that I (my body can't do). Maybe I just hate myself as much as I hate my body.

I can't even bare to look at it (it looks like shit too although it always has so I don't hate it for that any more then usual), never mind moisturise it. I can't even be bothered to wash it half the time. It's making me miserable which is making me a horrible mum and wife.

Thank you all for being so nice and replying

OP, so sorry you feel this way.

Your body got you through homeschooling while pregnant/nauseous/diabetic though which is pretty amazing. Your body has made 3 children!!!!!!! You're only 3weeks PP, not even enough time for things like your organs to move back into their rightful places yet! Be kind to yourself and trust your body. Look after yourself, nurture yourself as much as you have time for with 3 children, I have just one baby and not sure how I'd cope with more 😬 you are amazing! 💐💐💐

Thank you. I just don't remember feeling this bad after my last 2. At the moment the only time I feel ok is when I'm asleep, so I wish I could just do that all the time. Except obviously can't with 3 kids

I am sorry if you wanted to breastfeed and can't. That is a shame for you but it doesn't mean you have failed. Sometimes things don't work out the way planned. This is not a reason to hate your body and, by extension, yourself.

I hated the bleeding and the milk leaking. These are not pleasant things, again I don't think it's strange you feel this way.

If I were you I would try and remember how temporary everything is. The bleeding will stop, the leaking will stop and YES you will poo again!

Honestly, OP please give yourself a break. You have been through alot and now you're giving yourself a kicking whilst you are already down.

I think it’s ok to feel this way after only a few weeks - I certainly wasn’t 100% rational with raging hormones and no sleep.

Just take a day at a time and believe believe believe that this feeling will pass - because it will.

One day you’ll have enough energy to do something nice for yourself, or your hormones will give you a fucking break.

This isn’t forever.

I felt like this after my dd birth. Stitches were the worst.

But, it just took time. About a month.

Eight years in I've forgotten the pain if you like.

It will get better. Sending hugs.

Just try snd relax knowing it will get better snd then it will be done

Gylcerin suppositories for the constipation. You don't need a prescription and they're safe if you're doing any bf at all. They are magic.

For the rest, remember each day will heal you a little bit, and get you a step closer to feeling normal

I've used a glycerine suppository last night and tonight. They did nothing except a bit of watery stuff came around the blockage I have senasoft which is a stool softener you drink that I've taken this morning and will take again in the morning.

Oh god you poor thing. I just remember the constant leaking from everywhere. And aching. And full body tiredness. Hang on in there, it’ll get better. No helpful advice but masses of sympathy.

Oh god, yes, I know exactly what you mean with this feeling.
I felt like a stretched saggy ripped rubber glove that had been thrown in the bin.

Can you go full force and take dulcolax? I was on iron tabs after DC1 so took it with a dulcolax because, well, I didn’t even want to entertain the idea of putting my pelvic floor through that.

Also: your tits haven’t failed. Neither have you. In a few years time they’ll be smashing a McDonald’s or pizza and whether they had formula/breastmilk will be a distant memory. You know what I noticed when I was beating myself up about stopping BFing; never once I’m my whole 3 decades of living have I ever had a conversation with anyone about how they fed their baby, ever. I came to the calming realisation that I don’t think anyone actually cares but you (or me, or whoever is the one worrying at the time).

@FTEngineerM I'm not sure if it was intended, but you made me laugh so thank you.

Thank you to everyone the sympathy. It weirdly helps to know feeling like this is normal, even if I don't feel normal.