I am scared !

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I am sure my post is not very original and there were thousands similar on that website but I am terrified of giving birth !
I’m currently 34 weeks (first baby), planning on having my baby in a birth centre. I 100% trust my body and I know I will be able to do it as most woman do but the thought of pain is just awful and paralysing...I’ve seen videos of woman screaming in agony and I really don’t want to feel that ☹️ Is it really that bad? Did anyone have a “painful but manageable” experience ? I know there are many ways to help yourself, I bought tens machine, I’m aware of diamorphine and a epidural but I need to get to that point first 😱

I did a hypnobirthing course - definitely do that! Once i got into the birthing pool and had gas and air i didn't feel like i needed anything else at all. This was 8 months ago and a 20 hour labour from 3cm to birth.

My contractions were painful but manageable- relentless but have had worse tooth ache. Active labour was manageable with epidural and gas and air. Good luck and there’s always pain relief!

Do you have any tattoos op?

Going to say this nice and big:

ITS NOT CONSTANT PAIN

So, as above it ramps up from nothing to absolute hell on earth and then back down again within usually one minute, so the actual part that’s agony is only really maybe 20 seconds long. Two long deep breaths is all you need to do to get through those 20 seconds. And it’s gone, back to no pain what so ever for another 1-2 minutes until the next contraction.

I was most surprised when I went into labour after watching OBEM on repeat for weeks; in between contractions life is great. It’s not like any other pain you’ve experienced because it totally has a purpose, it’s odd.

You will get through it.

@PotionNotion

Do you have any tattoos op?

Not relevant; I have an almost leg sleeve consisting of multiple 7 hour sessions and that didn’t compare one iota to labour.

It’s fine once it starts the fear goes and it doesn’t hurt all the time, I nodded off between contractions. I’ve done it twice first time was very long and ended in an emcs, second was an unplanned vbac.
First time I had gas and air, didn’t work, tens which was good, stood under a hot shower good , hot water bottle good, pethadine bad, epidural good.
Second time hot water bottle, tens, pethadine all good and gas and air which they had to prise off me. It did hurt but once the baby was out it stopped and I would do it a third time.
Take a flask of hot water to refill your hot water bottle. Giving birth in hospital is fine but the rooms are a bit small

The thought of your first labour is terrifying because you have no experience. Of course it hurts there's no denying it but as you say trust your body and your midwife. My best labours were labours number 3 and 4 I really had a grip on it, quick, no pain relief, no tears and really positive experiences because I knew what to expect and what my body was going to do. The worst bit is the transition from labour to pushing, it's this point where you think you can't take anymore and you hate everyone, then you push, baby comes out and everything is forgotten! Good luck 😃

I agree with PP who said that it’s pain with a purpose. Psychologically I found it much, much more bearable than any other pain, because every other pain I’ve experienced was due to something going wrong with my body and that makes it quite scary and unpleasant, whereas labour pains are your body doing something right and each contraction is bringing you closer to meeting your baby. There’s a sort of excitement with each one. The rush of endorphins when the baby comes out is just incomparable - probably the best 3 moments of my life.

Aww thank you for sharing everyone ! I guess I will find out soon. I started doing perennial massage (very uncomfortable) so I can kind of imagine the pushing stage feeling now.
If we only knew how long each birth would last ! For me personally I do like to see a finish line but I guess dilation can be a good indicator.
@Lucylivesinamushroomhouse I totally get what you mean about the pain “meaning something good”, I think in my head I’ll be exactly the same because pain is just very unnatural and usually means there is something wrong going on with your body weather labour pains its a total opposite.
@Larryslockdownlunch thanks for a simple answer, it all make sense !

Can often really depend on the position your baby is in. My daughter was transverse and back to back: hell and extreme pain at only 2cm. I had an epidural and it was fantastic. I had an emcs in the end but got to 10cm and can say that I could cope with the pain again, you just do.

I did hear some screamers though who were labouring at the same time as me.

I found the pain with the first was more like running a marathon than anything too intense. My first was back to back and things progressed very slowly. By rhe time I got to active labour I was so relieved things very progressing that I almost welcomed the pain. It was manageable with gas and air and in the water and over quite quickly.

First of all,you have already very positive mind set,you know you can do it,so stick to it.
I had 4DC and love giving birth.Yes,it is painful but not too bad,pain is intermittent,not constant.
My first was back to back but still OK.The most intense pain was in the last 4 hours,I bounced on ball,had a shower with a stream on my lower back.3 hours before my DS was born,midwife gave me Pethidine,no asking if I wanted it(20 years ago) and I did regret it as my DS was born quite sleepy and it messed up our breastfeeding(took me 4 days to establish it as he wasn't interested).
2nd time,water birth,spend most of the time in the pool and it was amazing,relaxing and 2 hours after birth I was eager to go home,full of energy.
3rd baby,practiced hypnobirthing,planned water birth but was induced.
2 hours labour,was walking/standing all the time,breathing helped enormously,gave birth standing.
4th DC,didn't have time to think about it as she was born 30 minutes after arrival(and 1,5 hrs after first sign of labour).Again,hoped for water birth but there was a bit of meconium in waters and the painful part was when they put me in bed as her heart was apparently dipping so pushing was painful(mainly because Reg put her fingers in my vag and I shouted at her to stop,it wasn't necessary at all) but other than that it was fine.
Yes,it is intense but I think extreme pain is quite rare and hugely depends on bay position and your mental approach to birth.Being relaxed really helps,as tense body and mind make it more stressful and painful.

I did the positive birth company online course and it was amazing. I loved giving birth to my baby and it was an amazing experience. In the pool with just gas and air. It did hurt a bit, but wasn't unbearable at all and I'd love to do it again! 🥰

I found the pain bearable, it was like period pains but stronger.

Baby 1: Had a tens machine and pethidine (mainly just because I was offered it)- hated both! Pethidine made me sick, and the tens machine was more painful than the contractions! I did get a bit scared about the sensation of baby crowning but it just stung.

Baby 2: Fast birth, tried a go on gas and air just because it was there, hated that lol, it made me feel drunk.

Baby 3: Planned home birth, no pain relief, birthed him standing up, big baby (9lb12) and the experience was calm and wonderful. I'm blessed with a seriously high abdominal pain threshold though, from how painful periods were in my teens (roll around on the floor crying painful, they got better after childbirth thank goodness!)

Baby 4: Not yet born, I intend to give birth in the birthing center with no pain relief again but I'll be willing to accept pain relief if I feel like it at the time. There are no medals for bravery! I think we are super lucky to live in a time where so much help is available during childbirth. There's a type of pain relief for every preference. Personally, I'd be highly disturbed by being completely numb- I like to feel what my body is doing.

First baby I did the whole hypnobirthing thing. Got an epidural eventually and it took so long to work. Next time I'm getting an epidural as soon as I'm in established labour. Labour is painful and so is the stuff that comes after it like stitching and placenta removal (if you're unlucky like I was - the placenta removal was still painful but less painful than if I hadn't had the epidural).

There's loads of people with positive birth stories.
Many women go on to have more babies!
It's an excellent point to remember it's not constant pain or discomfort, it comes in regular, predictable intervals.
I had to be induced, which can be a bit more ouchy, I had pethidine, which was great actually, I had several hours of very calm labour with it. In the end though I had to have a cesarian so was given an epidural. Oh my god, it was amazing in that the pain just stopped completely.
Good luck with however you deliver your baby and don't feel pressured or obligated to do it any particular way. The important outcome is a healthy Mum and baby. How you get there is immaterial.

Thank you ladies ! Currently almost 38 weeks and still scared but also excited for challenge! Just creating my birth playlist which is super exciting and makes me emotional!

Yes it's painful. But it doesn't last forever. Take the gas and air and pethidine.
How painful it is seems to be individual - some say manageable and others find it unbearable. You won't know which category you are in until you try. So approach it with an open mind, try all the hypnobirthing stuff but it might not be enough for you - there's no shame in asking for pain relief if you want it at the time.

39+2 and counting

I had 2 home births, no pain relief etc and I found it manageable. I think being somewhere I was really comfortable made me feel less scared and eased pain. And as someone upthread said, it isn’t constant pain, so you can catch your breath a bit before it starts again

You'll be fine! It's honestly not as bad as I thought it would be and I've had two. I would have had more if we could afford it. It's massively worth it. I had a water birth for the second one and it's amazing what pain relief it gives you. Even if you can get in a bath it's worth it.

I'd rather have labour again than tonsillitis! At least labour is in waves, productive and finite.

I fucking hate tonsillitis.

Don't be scared OP. My less than perfect first birth doesn't bother me now. Relax and focus on the final product!

Painful but manageable- have had two births with gas and air, one in the pool. Research all your pain options and make informed decisions as you go along. Highly recommend Hypnobirthing, look at positive birth co.

The prospect of childbirth is significantly worse than the reality