NEW MUMS TO BE READ THIS- labour isn't always terrible

[Minkus]

Well that's a bit of a lie but what I meant is that just because it's terrible desn't mean that it's not positive, if that makes sense.

Yes it bloody hurts like nothing before. BUT- you can do it. It's what your body is made for and it won't hurt forever. My ds was born 1 week early, waters broke at home at 11pm contractions started at midnight, we were in the hospital by 02:30 and he was born at 03:18. Used my tens machine from the start of contractions and had 10 mins of gas and air in hospital (they took it away as it was making me too comfortable to push, grrr the evil evil things )

And I felt really "able" all the way through. There was not one point when I though that I wasn't going to be able to do it, as basic an experience as labour is (lots of pain, primeval animal noises etc!) YOU CAN DO IT

This isn't a thread to boast about a "brilliant" birth experience, more to share a secret- that even if it's a bit scary and painful not all births are traumatic for the mums involved and you won't necessarily be left still telling your sorry tale to all and sundry when your children are at primary school. Not to say of course that some mums don't have a traumatic time because of course there is the flip side too.

Any more positive birth experiences to be shared out there?

Good luck new mums
xxxx

I loooooved it, all 3 times. Lovely epidurals too. It was brilliant, fun, emotional, happy, exciting. There's actually no need for it to be so particularly painful anyway.

I have 2 kids, both births have been great, both in hospital. I walked to the hospital both times, and home again the next day (only a 3 minute walk, 15 minutes if having contractions) I read lots of books so I knew what to expect as much as possible, and wrote my birth wish list, but was determined to be positive about it if it didn't go to plan. I used gas and air and the tens machine for both, and had practiced breathing exercises which really helped. For the second baby we rang the hospital at 10pm and he was born at 11.45. Don't listen the over dramatic scare stories people love to tell you, trust in the baby and your body, and if it doesn't go quite how you want it to as long as you and the baby are well then enjoy your baby, and don't dwell on it too much. I had a CD called 'tranceforming childbirth' and every time someone said something negative I would go home and listen to it telling me it would all be OK. To anyone pregnant reading this, good luck, hope it goes how you want it to.

With my son birth, I arrived at the hospital after having contractions for about an hour. I gave birth within 15 minutes of arriving and was discharged an hour later.

Should have realised it would be quick, my daughter arrived within 3 hours.

I loved the experience. Yes it hurt, but both times the high of seeing my babies was like nothing I had ever experienced. Cliches but it was the high point of my life. I wish more poeple would emphasise the positive too.

It's great to hear positive stories for a change..
Best advice I got was keep having sex (through pregnancy not birth as it keeps you stretchy and the blood circulating down there...
I was in slow labour for a couple of days, first day I went shopping for a new sofa (got my own back on salesmen . Second day used tens and heavy breathing.. not painful, eventually had epidural and got some sleep then had my lovely ds, no stitches no tears.. Fantastic..
I did choose to stay in hospital so I had a few days rest and I didn't have to make tea for all the vistors ..
Good luck just trust your body..

I've also had 3 good births - first good, second fab, third very good. lots of luck all you mums to be!

Mine sounds like a nightmare on the face of it - induced 2 weeks late, v. slow progress, 31 hours of contractions (the first 12 on my own in the antenatal ward), went through all the pain relief options there were (now big fan of epidurals!!) and eventually forceps delivery of 9 lb 15 baby because his heartbeat started dropping. BUT at no point throughout the whole thing did I feel traumatised or that I wouldn't be able to do it, I felt very well looked after and knew what was going on and what my options were throughout, even at its worst I was thinking, well, I would do this again! (and am going to next year ). Afterwards I was very proud of myself and it was kinda nice to be treated like a hero in the postnatal ward!! and ds and I were both absolutely fine afterwards - OK I needed some recovery time, but I felt SO much better not being pregnant any more after lugging that around for months!!

just saw this on the mumsnet roundup, yes I did have two very relaxed and fairly easy labour/births.... my dd came first, I went in to hospital at 6pm and she was born, after I floated in a pool for a few hours, had gas and air but when the pain hit I was trying to ignore it, because I just thought I couldn't do it... she was born just after midnight, it was after the birth I found quite shocking, I went into shock... I hadn't eaten for 12 hours and my dh ate the toast and drank the tea the mw's brought...

my ds was born at home, it was a very special experience, mw's were having lunch in my garden, I started to try and bake(I was bored) when the first strong contraction hit, I went upstairs and with the help of the mw's and gas and air I had my ds in 20 mins, painful yes, but still lovely.

Yes, great thread.

I enjoyed both of my labours. Yes, there were dodgy moments - but I kept an open mind, had an epidural with ds1 after a 26 hour labour, and felt I was delivering the way I needed to. It was sooo worth it.

With ds2 I didn't have an epidural and again felt in control of the choices I was making. I remember it hurting, and saying that I wouldn't be doing this again, but felt such a sense of achievement at delivering in just 2.5 hours.

Two things stand out for me. First making choices to suit my/my baby's needs helped enormously. Second, my brilliant husband. He helped for each contraction with back massage and by counting down - 10, 9, 8 . . etc. I knew I only had to hang on until he got to one (he slowed down a bit if it was a long contraction!) so I knew what I was aiming for. (When the student midwife took over for one contraction and started counting upwards 1, 2, 3 . . . I nearly lamped her!!! It suggested that the contraction could go on forever, and she would just keep on counting!!)

Just thought I'd share that useful little technique.

Best of luck to anyone about to give birth.

Had an amazing experience with DS (first and only). Waters broke at 7.10 pm during the Archers but wasn't sure if it was just a bit of wee. Contractions started during tea. Had a paracetamol, went for bath with lovely music and candles provided by DH, who also timed the contractions. Told by the hospital to stay put if I could cope. Realised at 11.00 pm I HAD to get to the hospital. Arrived afer frantic journey, went to wrong door, walked across car park holding DS in. Greeted by midwife with fantastic gas and air and DS born 30 mins later at 11.45 pm.

It hurt like hell but the moment he came out was incredible. Best thing ever, I was euphoric for weeks.

I enjoyed my birth experience, even if there was a little too much discussion about wether i was actually in labour or not at the start because i wasn't in any pain.. lmao.

i was 39+4 and my waters broke at home at 3am, i got to the hospital to be checked over by 4am, and it was 5.30 before anyone actually checked my dilation.. they were too busy trying to monitor baby's heart-beat because he was playing hard-to-get and kept moving too quickly to get a trace.

Then they used a swab to check if my waters had really gone (still in no pain at this point)and said they couldnt detect any.. so finally the midwife said "well.. lets check your dilation before we send you home.

I was 5cms dilated!!

I didn't actually get any contractions until just after 6am.. it was all back labour until then, and because i suffer with a bad back, apparently it didn't breach the pain threshold i'm used to all the time with my lower spine, heh.

Anyway.. no epi, just Gas & Air. DS was born at 11.34 after an hour of pushing and weighed 8.3lbs.

both my labours were quite positive, both were 5 days early.

dd, was 12 hours from waters breaking to birth, about 7 hours of proper active labour and 1hr 20mins pushing. had pethadine and g&a, no intervention, no tearing or stitches needed.

ds was different as my waters didn't go, but when we got to the hospital i asked for them to be broken as i felt it was slowing things down, and boy, was i right. after they did it, i went from 6cm to fully dilated in 3 contractions, and he was out in 3 pushes after that. only used g&a, no time for anything else.

yes, it hurts but i found my body knew exactly what to do and when so i just let in get on with it.

This is a great thread. I sometimes find myself keeping quiet about my birth experience while everyone else is going on about how awful theirs were - I feel a bit smug going 'Well actually mine was fine'! But I really remember being virtually pinned to the wall by people I hardly knew when I was pg and subjected to all their stories of third degree tearing etc... Cripes. So I am starting to say to pg friends 'If you want to hear a positive birth story, ask me!'... some of them have.

For the record I had really irregular contractions for 2-3 days (!) before finally persuading someone at hospital that I wanted to be looked at. I arrived and had an internal - midwife said '3cm, well done!' Another midwife had a look at me a bit later and said 'Nice strong stomach muscles, those will be useful', then sent me off to walk round the hospital grounds and up & down stairs sideways (she thought the baby might need turning round). Meanwhile I was leaning up against walls, trees etc having strong contractions.

Back in the room the very Yorkshire midwife kept sticking her head round the door and going 'You don't look like you're in enough pain yet!' as I was quite jolly between contractions. On the gas and air about midday I think... that helped, though it's pretty freaky stuff. Found I had a lot of pressure 'down below' - dp went off to get the midwife saying 'She wants to push!' Action stations!! suddenly it was all go, people rushing in and out.

The midwives' team leader came in to talk to me about a research study I'd signed up for and ended up delivering ds - I remember saying to her 'You haven't even got an apron on!'. She is the spitting image of Princess Di so I remember thinking 'Princess Di is delivering my baby...'.

Like someone else who posted above, I had a two minute 'I can't do this!' when ds was crowning but then one more push and there he was. Unbelieveable. I still well up just thinking about it. Good luck to all of you, stay strong and enjoy those little ones when they arrive!

oh yes, the crowning bit, or the ring of fire as i called it (ouch!). i remember a split second of thinking 'i can't do this, it hurts too much', but the quickest way to end it is to push that baby out, and once they are born, the pain just stops

I have given birth 4 times in 5 and half years so should be a pro - but I learnt never to take anything for granted. The first time I ignored my MW telling me to stop pushing when the head was crowning and ended up with lots of lovely stitches (the stitching hurt more than the delivery!!) so the following times I made sure the mw knew to shout at me and make me listen and it was all really smooth. Hubbie and I have decided no more - but feel a bit sad that I am not going to experience giving birth again. If you can ride through it there really is only a little time that the pain is bad. Gas and air have worked everytime for me and that is just to bite down on the plastic mouth piece - that and my hubbies hand to dig my nails into!!

I love giving birth, my five births were all fine no pain relief, no stitches and all quick longest was 6 hrs shortest 1 hr and one home birth which was just fab, I loved the experience (older kids slept through it all) and ds 1 awoke the next day to find his baby sister had been born on his birthday.My oldest is now 16 and my youngest 3 (he has just started nursery sob sob) and i am considering ttc again next year.

I had a little boy in August, and was in labour for just over 24 hours. The first 16 hours were brilliant - I sat around at home with my mum and DH, eating watermelon and apologising for the lack of drama . It all got a bit intense at about midnight, and my midwife came out to my house (I'd planned a homebirth but decided to go to hopsital in the end) and accompanied me to the hospital, where she stayed with me for 8 hours until my baby was born. She was BLOODY AMAZING and really encouraged me...stuck to my birth plan completely, did everything I could possibly have asked of her.

Yes it hurt, but like so many others have said, it's a productive pain. I had G&A, and remember cracking some really rubbish jokes between contractions...my waters hadn't broken and I was 9cm dilated, and I made some comment about giving birth to the next Dalai Lama (don't ask) which gave my midwife the giggles

I also remember cheering when she told me I was OK to push, bacause I'd done it without needing an epidural

The euphoria afterwards was indescribable. I was gurning and biting my lip and felt invincible - it was amazing

I loved both my birth experiences.
both at home in birthing pools, very different experiences yet both very positive.
First one was 36 hours from first contraction to delivery but that was at home watching DVD's listening to CD's we had made sat in the garden on the saturday on the birthing ball whilst Dh did some gardening. DS1 finally born at about 5pm Sunday afternoon. no pain relief except for birthing pool.
Second one was quick - first contraction breakfast time called midwife and mum to pick up DS1 DH filled the pool I danced to MTV (was determined to get the baby out!) got in the pool for an hour DS2 born at about 1pm no pain relief except for pool
I am really envious about the pregnant ladies who are about to embark on such an exciting journey.

Definately feeling broody at the moment!

Thanks for this post I'm nearly 32 weeks, just started my AN classes and had my hospital tour last night - suddenly it all seems so scary and full on but I can't help but hope that if I get my state of mind right, I'll be able to cope with anything that happens when it all kicks off, on the other hand, if I am scared and feel out of control, it will be horrendous. So little time, so much to learn

Baby no. 1: From about noon (1st vague contraction) till birth at 1am that night - no tearing. Home birth, TENS machine and gas & air. When I went for a bath afterwards tried to remember what it was like but couldn't. I remembered bellowing mind, but not what it all felt like. DD was 8lb 4oz

Baby no.2: Waters broke 2:30am. As this was 2 weeks early I wasn't at all ready and ran about frantically for an hour sorting towels, baby clothes etc and then went back to bed. Rang midwife line at 6:30 to say waters had broken and had 1st faint twinge of contraction soon after. Friend arrived with kids as husband was still waiting on his flight home. They entertained DD whilst I went upstairs when midwife arrived 10:30 am. Midwife no.2 arrived at 11:35 and hit the ground running as baby arrived 10 mins afterwards! TENS and gas again Midwife said it was 2 pushes and some heavy breathing that delivered DS. Again no tears. He was 8lb 2oz

I really felt I needed both the TENS & gas and air the first time but with DS they were mostly helpful as making me feel like I was doing something. Didn't, for example, press the TENS button for contractions.

Almost everyone hates me if I so much as mention my birth experiences and my friends probably wouldn't have believed it if they hadn't been there. They stayed with us in a rota until DH arrived back at 9:30 pm so as we weren't alone. It was brilliant - they are like fairy godmothers to my children really. Fiona, who was there during the actual birth said she could only tell a baby had arrived when she heard a faint cry and then the midwives cross checking the time.

Lovely to get the chance to tell people how un-horrible it can be. If asked I say that it is hard work - bit like laying a patio. Once the readymix concrete arrives you can't stop shovelling until it's done! But it doesn't have to be painful, traumatic or even lengthy. Mind you my husband is a sailor and I expect I am known in the Navy now as bucket...

I was in labour for 28 hours, including 3.5 hours of pushing, and never felt anything I would describe as pain until it was obvious we neded ventouse assistance. I used TENS and pool, and didn't want to try G&A, as I thought it would put me off my focus. Didn't feel the need of it either.

When I had to lie down for ventouse assistance I suddenly demanded - and got - an epidural, and DS was born 20 mins later.

All fine.

DS was born at home in birthing pool. I used a tens machine from 6am when I woke DH until I got in the pool at 1130 when the midwife arrived and told me I was 10cm. I could have kissed her! I can honestly say I enjoyed giving birth - the only bit I didn't like was I went into absolutely classic transition just before she got there and neither Dh nor I recognised it! Crowning hurt but I didn't need stitches, and holding the brand new baby is magic!

Great post.

Three out of my four births have been calm and relaxed homebirths. I found the key was to relax and go with the flow.

I had done a Hypno birthing course after my first birth which wasn't how I had wanted it (ventouse - really not that comfortable!!!!). Although I didn't follow the Hypno birthing stuff completely it gave me the knowledge that your body and baby know what they are doing so just let them
get on with it.

No pain releif other than gas and air for first - none needed the endorphin rush is great. I was high as a kite for 3 days following all the births!

It is a great experience and lovely to see all the positive stories - there are not enough around.

I was determined not to panic or scream etc when I gave birth and to try and relax and let my body tell me what to do -the more you panic the more painful it would be is what I believed and thankfully that theory got me through it in just over three hours

yes, relaxing, staying confident and upright, and doing everything to get the endorphins going (using TENS from first twinge is good for that) gives you a good a chance as anything of having a positive birth.

Then confidently acepting help and intervention if you need it.

If there IS a complication that can't be solved by changing position or other low-tech method, then nothing but intervention will help, and if you make that choice in a pro-active way (as I did by agreeing we needed to go to hospital and asking for epidural at last minute) then that needn't be traumatic either.

But...I am no expert - I have had one baby only!

Not all bbirths can be straightforward - but far too much emphasis is given to a fictional inevitable awfulness, imo.