Support at home after c-section

[movingmelly]

Hi All!
Had c-section which has rendered me completely useless. Can't feed/pick up/change baby at all.
We came home yesterday and husband has had to do everything, all night and then all day today. He's managed an hours sleep.
I'm really worried he won't be able to keep that up for long, he is too.
Does anyone know what we can do?
How long I might expect to be this useless for, and whether it's possible and how to get support in the day or night if we need it?
No relatives locally.
Thanks!

I would suggest a local doula - they do postnatal care. Congrats and get well soon

Well , you can try nurse/ nanny agencies but won't be for long. Day on day you will feel better and if your DH has some time off work I you will be sharing tasks.

Are you in pain is that why you can’t do anything?

If you’re in that much pain you need to speak to your midwife.

Lower your standards/survival mode. Only do what really has to be done and cut all the corners!

You will probably feel a lot better in just a few days. Did they kick you out of hospital pretty quickly?

Practise rolling gently to the side to get out of bed. I remember that being the hardest part. Good luck - I hope you feel more human soon

Hey OP agree with previous poster would recommend getting checked out if you are in serious pain. I've had two c sections and had minimal pain with both. Congratulations and hope you're feeling better soon.

I slept sitting up and worked out a manoeuvre than meant I could pick up my daughter at night to feed her (she was in a bedside crib). There was a lot of shuffling! Husband did all the nappies etc in the first few days. I felt considerably better after about 5 days. I managed a 15 minute walk on day 5 I think.

As PP have said, lower your standards hugely (this applies to life with a newborn in general). Make sure you're taking your painkillers every 4 hours, even if you're not feeling pain when it's time to take the next lot. Let your partner take the strain now as you will definitely be doing a lot of the work in the months to come!

Good luck.

Congratulations on your new baby

Was it an emergency section? I had an ELCS and I could pick up and change baby, but luckily I'd arranged for my mum to come and stay so she could help and my husband did everything for a couple of weeks. That definitely speeded up my recovery though, because I was practically fine after that. Could any of your non-local family come and stay and form a support bubble because you've got a child under 1?

Of course your husband will be fine ! How do you think women manage caring for a new born baby? They have to do everything 24/7 AND recover from Labour and childbirth .

Does your baby really only sleep one hour a day? Your husband needs to learn to sleep when baby does. That’s what everyone says to new mums.

What exactly is the issue? If pain, I'd get some stronger painkillers. I found that I got better very quickly from my ELCS but it's absolutely vital to keep on top of pain management.

The fact you can't feed baby doesn't sound right - is it down to pain? If so, are you taking your medication?

Congratulations on your baby OP 💐

Go easy on yourself, you're not useless at all! You've had major abdominal surgery and spent the last 9 months growing a human.

When was your baby born? I've had 2 sections (one emergency, one elective) and was able to do most things within 48 hours but by day 5 was basically just getting on with life so hopefully it won't be for too long.

If you're in lots of pain speak to your midwife for extra pain relief or to check you're healing as expected.

What's causing you to feel useless, is it pain? If it's pain you need stronger painkillers, you should be able to move around a bit by now with good pain management and be able to do a few things in the coming days.

Why did he get only an hours sleep?

I'm not sure about outside help, but I would call your midwife for a check up.

Recovering from a c section can be difficult, but it doesn't sound like you should have been discharged with that level of limited movement. I know they are getting people out quickly with covid but I had a c section a few weeks ago and had to show them I could walk unaided, pick up and put down baby, and use the bathroom alone before I was discharged.

Practically, have you got a changing table? I found it difficult to get up and down from the floor at first and this really helped. I've also heard that holding a cushion against the incision site can help with getting up and down from the sofa if you're struggling.

Congratulations and feel better soon OP .

The pain won’t last for long. The best thing is to move as much as possible! If you stay still you will stiffen up. The best tip I have is to tie something to the end of the bed you can use for when you lift yourself out. I used my dressing gown cord. Congrats x

Did you baby only sleep an hour through the night?
He needs to learn to sleep at night, whilst off work. Whilst the baby does!

When you get checked by your midwife as her what you should be able to do.

By day 15 post c section I could walk to do school drop off, although slower than usual. But by day 3-4 I could pick up the baby and feed the baby etc.

Are you okay OP?

Speak to your midwife. You really should be mobile at home after a c section. Hope you feel better soon

Congrats OP!

What exactly is the problem? Is it pain? If you literally can't move / do anything that's not right. Have you spoken to your community midwife?

Why can your husband not cope?

Are you taking your paracetamol and ibuprofen regularly?
I was told to you can take each one every 4 hours, so it goes like this:

6am - paracetamol
8am - ibuprofen
10am - paracetamol
12pm - ibuprofen
2pm - paracetamol
4pm - ibuprofen
Etc etc

At least for the first few weeks, I was told this was fine while breastfeeding and noticed no ill effects in my baby.
The pain was horrific and I could only do changes etc when we got to say 3 or so.
I think the trauma to my abdomen from the 3 days of induction followed by the EMCS made it so much harder.
Hoping for a better time of it with a planned CS this time!

Of this was an emergency C-section at the end of a long Labour you will feel a lot more tired than simply having a planned Elective C-section where you were well rested the night before, skiped the hard work of Labour, and managed to get a good few hours rest before returning home. I speak from experiance, as I have been through both the above situations. The first time I returned home with my new baby and my Eldest Daughter, who was 11 at the time at home with me during the day, and DH returning home in the evenings and helping out with the baby at night. I used to 'Set' once in Bed, and needed help to get upright whenever I woke up. But once sitting, I could feed and change the Baby, with help to fetch things and answer the door when needed from my 11year old. This went on for about a fortnight, then I was fine.
The Elective Section was a much faster recovery, I didn't feel half as Tired or stiff, and I was walking around a lot easier after only three days, which was the point I left Hospital.

I found that moving helped me to recover quickly. I have had 3 sections and each time was able to do pretty much everything for the baby by myself. It was my husbands job to keep the older kids happy and me fed.
Are you able to feed the baby, either breastfed or bottle? Other than nappy changes there is not that much else that needs doing with a newborn. Lower your standard, order take away, or some ready meals and try to relax and enjoy these special first few days.