Tell me about your next delivery, after your previous one ended in a third degree tear..

[BabyBooDueNov21]

So, my first delivery (almost 3 years ago) resulted in a third degree tear, months until I felt 'normal' and lots longer until I wasn't nervous every time DH and I had sex.

Pregnant again, and unsure what to do this time...

So if you had a third degree tear, what was your next birth experience like?

Thanks

First one was horrendous. Very long. Back to back. Large baby, every intervention going, tear, stitches blah blah blah. Second one was so easy, had no pain relief and home very quickly. (3rd and 4th even quicker - no 4 was 6 mins from arriving at the delivery suite to me giving birth!!!).

Good luck.

Many congrats on your pregnancy OP.

Completely understandable to be concerned.

I sustained a really bad tear, with my first DS, with my second DS, a much quicker birth I did tear slightly but did not need stitches, took a while to heal naturally though.

Good luck, and try not to worry.

4th degree tear during first.... recommended to have c-section for second. Not worth the risk.

3rd degree with number 1

Number 2's birth was beautiful. It was quick again (3 hours) I got the birth centre and had my daughter in the pool. I was on all 4s to deliver. It was the such a wonderful birth.

Both me and the midwife were surprised that I didn't tear at all. I'd assumed that if you tear once you'll tear again, but apparently not.

I think the water and position really helped.

I had a 4th degree tear with my first after a long labour (it took 2 doctors to pull him out!) They gave me an episiotomy with my second but I felt in control as I knew what was happening. I delivered with just gas and air.
Every labour is different, have a chat with your midwife to see what your options are.

I had a third degree tear with my first baby. I had been pushing for nearly 2 hours before he arrived and I felt pressured to get him out and pushed really hard, I was quite panicked and distressed.

Second time round I was offered a c section but wasn't keen for various reasons. I was asymptomatic and felt I had healed well. I remember the doctor saying that if I had symptoms they would advise a c section so that they didn't worsen but as I didn't it was my choice really. I ended up having a water birth at home and it was a completely different experience (despite my first being a pool birth too). I did a daisy birthing course and used all the breathing techniques and didn't actively push at all, just breathed with my body. Ended up with a first degree tear that didn't need any stitches.

I don't mean to make it sound like it was down to anything I did that led to me having a tear or not either time. They were completely different experiences and my labours were different too. First time round I didn't really get the urge to push and I had to really try, I'd been pushing for so long I was looking at forceps or c section if he hadn't been delivered soon. Second birth was totally different, my body just took over and pushed for me, if that makes any sense.

There were a few things I read that can help avoid a further tear, including kneeling or lying on your side when giving birth and a warm compress on the perineum.

During my second pregnancy I had an appointment with the consultant to discuss my options which I found really useful and had a debrief from my first birth which helped me come to terms with it (I'd found going into surgery and leaving my newborn really difficult to deal with). I spent a lot of time worrying about my choices and i was really scared after I'd given birth but before the midwife had checked me.

I think you have to go with what you're comfortable with but just wanted to share my experience as some reassurance that the second birth can be completely different to the first.

1st was induced at 42wks. She was back to back, didn't descend, I got rushed to theatre thought I was having a C section but ended up ventousing her out. She was absolutely fine, I had a 3rd degree tear and episiotomy and minor pph.

Second birth 9 years later, was my earliest and only spontaneous labour of my 4. Labour started after a sweep (well many sweeps) at 40+9. My contractions started at lunchtime, but were manageable, in that I could do the school run, cook tea, but were regular. By 1am they ramped up and we went to hospital. 2am waters broke, and she was born 6hrs later. I had a second degree tear (which I have had for 2, 3 and 4) but no lasting discomfort. We were home by tea time.

Following with interest op. Not pregnant yet but third degree with first baby and already advised to have a section next time. Felt quite settled on it but reading the different positive stories makes me pause.

4th degree tear here. Was advised to have a section with second, which I did. Quite painful afterwards (didn’t feel a thing during) but I’m pleased I did it, I didn’t feel it was worth the risk again. I was lucky to recover fully from the 4th degree tear, I couldn’t control my bowel for weeks afterwards which was terrifying! Physio fixed it thankfully.

First was a 3rd degree tear which required stitches and placenta removal in theatre.
Second was a planned csection, didn't want to take the risk and be left with long term damage down below!

I've been told to have a c section,may be fine but mot worth the risk of permanent damage imo for me

First one: 3rd degree tear after being in the labour ward over 24 hours

Second one: born after 4 hours in labour ward, no pain killers, he had his arm wrapped round his neck so was very awkward to push out, but no tears and we were home 8 hours later.

I spent 8 months worrying that my 2nd would be as bad as the first but it was a completely different experience.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply

I'm honestly amazed how many of you went on to have another vaginal delivery, I was expecting everyone to come and tell me how they opted for an ELCS the next time. I've still no idea which route I'll choose, but I feel less afraid now I think, will have a good talk with the MW about it.

My cousin had a third degree tear, and an ELCS for her next child, which she said was a much better birth/recovery. I'll have to pick her brains when I tell everyone I'm pregnant.