Just as plain as the heading says !! I want to be excited but I’m scared ! A bit of back round I got a planned c section 2019 because of mental health concerns ( I had told high risk doctors I was going to end my life when baby arrived I was in very dark place after loss of my mother at 32 weeks pregnant ) so they decided a planned c section would be best to control the environment and after care aka I would have to stay in longer and teams of therapist were at hand day or night when needed anyway it was a happy ending and with on going mental health support and self care I am very stable now and in a much better place I am pregnant again and have a great team of high risk doctors and mental health midwives I’m coping very well and mental health hasn’t been an issue but of course because of previous section I have opt for another the only thing is I’m much heavier ! No one has said it will be an issue when having a c section but I’m not stupid I know it brings it’s own chance of issues .. the thing is I’m so scared of dying as sad as it sounds the first time round I was laying on the table not caring if a bled out in fact I though it would be an easy way out of my pain ... I know that may be hard to understand but this time round I have my son and new born daughter to think about I just don’t want to die .... and I don’t really know how to explain this to my team with out them thinking I’m losing it again ! Has any one had a section while being on the much bigger side and all has been ok ??