HOMEBIRTH - I'd think I'd like one, DH worried about the risks, can anyone help me decide/give reassurance.........

[looneytune]

It's VERY early days but as we've spoken about it, I thought I'd get the advice now.

Basically, I fancied a home birth with ds but decided that I'd go for hospital as it was my first time. Now 7 weeks pregnant with no 2 (told you it was early days!) and I've told dh I'd like to look into having a Home Birth as I really like the idea plus I hated being in hospital - left in a room for 2 hours as if they'd forgotten us, didn't like having a bath there after, wanted food when it wasn't time for meal etc etc.

DH isn't saying no, he's just concerned about the dangers for me and baby, he worries and feels safer with us being in hospital in case anything goes wrong.

I can understand his worries and it makes me worry when he puts it like that but then again, I see so many positive stories of homebirths.

Can anyone help with this anxiety? Is a homebirth pretty safe? Any experiences you'd like to share?

TIA

Have you (or he ) seen the data on the homebirth website? It has details of the Birthday Trust Study, which is the only big study done comparing home and hospital births. They found that, for a normal pregnancy, it's at least as safe for you to birth at home as it would be in hospital.

One thing that helped us (I had DD1 at home earlier this year) was considering the risks of a hospital birth, including:

• being left while in labour (at home you'll have a midwife dedicated to you while you labour, two for the birth) so problems have a chance to get bigger before they're spotted
• being exposed to a range of germs that your body can't provide antibodies for (I'm pretty sure I don't have MRSA or C. difficile at home)
• double the chance of having a C/S (scarily true - you have the risk just by planning a home birth) or other serious intervention

If you want a homebirth it's worth doing your homework before talking to your midwife or GP - and that website's a very good start.

Good luck

Hi Looney tune.
I think the safety of a homebirth will depend on whether you have a high risk pregnancy or not. If everything goes well then there is no reason why a homebirth should be more risky than a hospital birth. Indeed you are more likely to have constant supervision from a dedicated midwife ( or sometimes even 2 midwives) if you are at home.
One thing to consider is how long it would take you to get to hospital in an emergency. If you are a 40min drive away then that is different to being round the corner.

If you need some advice you could see if your local NCT group run a birth choice support group. If so they will be able to give you more factual information to help you make the right decision for you.

sorry - on the 2nd one, a range of germs that your body doesn't already have antibodies for as they're not in your home environment, and/or are much nastier than those in your home environment.

I had a wonderful hb for ds, 1st baby. It was great (apart from the usual labour agony )

I was v v relaxed and I'm convinced that's why I had such a smooth, fast stress free labour (6hrs, no drugs).

Nothing compares with snuggling up with your newborn in your own bed and having your own bathroom. And no being left alone in hospital. Although, some 2nd time mums like the hospital stay as they get a bit of time with their new baby without pressures of other dc to care for.

I loved it, but it's not for everyone. I think it's best to go where you feel most relaxed and secure.

Books by Ina May Gaskin and Sheila Kitzinger are really helpful and informative about it all.

i had ds1 at hospital 5 years ago and ds2 at home in august and def a home birth if you are able, i didn't think that i had bad care with ds1 but at home was unreal i had a great midwife who sat on my front room floor drinking tea chatting to me and dh about anything and everything ( harry potter included) and letting me do my own thing, my ante natal notes are so impressive there is an entry every 5 minutes, 1st midwife turned up at 3.30 and 2nd at 6.30, ds2 was born at 8.30. Just felt so reassured by their professionalism. I had to be transferred to hospital after the birth due to bad tearing but even then the first midwife stayed with me all the time. Would highly recommend it!!!
(sorry have rambled their but LOVED having a home birth!)

looneytune, if I wasn't feeling so lazy I'd do a search and find the message that i posted some 3 years ago which was exactly the same as yours so you could see the responses I was given.
I second the suggestion that you do your homework now, ask your DH to be specific about his fears so that you can address them and then go to the midwife together and ask her to help you address them together so that you can both make an informed choice. It might help as well if you can fine a another father for your Dh to speak to who went through the same feelings he is having but who is very pleased to have had the homebirth (my Dh for one would speak to him. He was very much against the homebirth origininally for various reasons but now he says he is so very very pleased that he changed his mind).
Like Pinkrnw, I LOVED my home water birth!!!

Hi looneytune.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I had an unplanned homebirth with ds (second child) so I'm not sure if my experience will be relevant. It was traumatic, frightening, painful (although very quick) but a hell of a story to dine out on for some time afterwards

Obviously a planned home birth would be totally different but there would be a few things I would personally consider,

how far away is the nearest hospital should anything go wrong?

what family support do you have?

On the positive side, after the paramedics and ambulance men had gone, I remember dh running me a lovely deep bath and he sat on the loo seat in the bathroom with me holding our newborn ds, that was very special. Also lovely to go to bed in your own room. DD slept through everything and came into our bedroom in the morning and said "what's that" referring to her new brother (she was only 21 months bless her).

I wish you all the very best and hope you have a lovely positive experience whatever you choose to do

i'm in the same boat, loony, although pregnant with no. 3.

we live in a rather rural area and are expected to drive an hour AND do a ferry crossing in order to get to a hospital that has a maternity unit.

not really ideal.

we have no family around and with two young children, there'd be no one to leave them with whilst i am in labour.

so we're hoping for a homebirth, too.

i really don't like the idea of wards or sharing some grotty bathroom that smells like an abattoir.

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Wow, thanks everyone for the quick responses.

In answer to how far we are from the hospital.....when I went for my scan on Friday we left here at 8.25 (rush hour traffic) and had parked, paid for ticket, put baby (mindee) in pram and walked up to main entrance of maternity unit, got in the lift and in the waiting room by 8.50am. Therefore with blue lights and all, I reckon we'd be there in 10 mins (15 mins at the most)

Tangle - thanks so much for that website link, it's just the sort of thing I needed and although I've only scrolled through very very quickly (for now), the things I've said from that and all posts on here has ALREADY made dh much happier and he's just said 'if you want a home birth then that's fine ' I really like your summing up of the risks at hospital - that turns it around a bit and is all valid!

annieshaf - thanks for that. Obviously my thinking is for if my pregnancy is low risk, otherwise I would re-think things depending on what risks there was. I will look into the NCT thing, thanks

tcmummy - sounds lovely and a lot more relaxing (I hated it in hospital now I look back). And no, I don't want to be in hospital to be away from DS - he'll be around 5.3 by then and I'd love him to be around and he'll be very interested, I just know it (he saw his own birth on video when quite young and was fascinated!).

pinkrangernowwobbles - that brought a tear to my eye (hormones! ) - it sounds so lovely and I could tell you loved it without you putting that at the end

mckenzie - that's so lovely that your dh went from feeling like that to being completely happy with it all. And so nice to say your dh would speak to him - I'm reading these replies to him and tbh, I think it's enough reassurance for him already I had a birthing pool at the hospital to start with for ds but had to get out and go to delivery room due to his heart rate changing. I like the idea of a water birth - would this be hiring an inflatable pool or in your own bath?

stripeytiger - that does sound scary and I can just imagine I'd be the same if totally unplanned and just happened. I've mentioned how near the hospital is but I don't have ANY family support here - do you think this is important? I won't have family support after hospital either. The only family I have nearby is my db whose about 20 mins away (if he's not off travelling again by then) so he'd be able to possibly help with ds but that's all he'd be useful for

Thanks again everyone for all your lovely comments, it's so early days and I've still got worries about everything being ok (had MC before ds and this time had bleeding and pain but scan on Fri showed all ok). I just like to think about things as I'm trying to be positive this time round (hated my pregnancy with ds as was worried the whole time, I want to enjoy at least one pregnancy if possible! )

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expat - {waves} (I've been loving your posts on the hogwarts thread ). I can see why you'd want a home birth. I know people say about being far from hospital but surely it's risky in itself if it's a big journey to get there!

Pruners - that must have been scary for them I should be able to get to hospital in 10 mins and from what I've read on the weblink I got at the start, even if you're in hospital and these things happen, it can take time for them to set up theatre etc. so if you're not too far from hospital, you don't actually get seen any slower iyswim.

Pruners - oh, don't feel bad It's best to share all thoughts as it helps to make a more informed decision!

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for whats is worth i am only 5 mins from my hospital but when i had my home Birth chat with my midwife she did day that it can take up to 35 mins as if we had needed to transfer in it would have to be by ambulance! trust your instance looney!

I hired a solid structure pool Looneytunes. It arrived about 2 weeks before my due date, we set it up about a week later (I was early with our first) but in fact, it decorated the place for another three weeks before it got used as DD was very late.
DS loved climbing in it every morningw hile it was empty and also helped DH to fill it up when the time came. I'm pleased to say DS then went off to bed as normal as if nothing was happening. Althoguh while he was cleaning his teeth I must have had a rather strong contraction and he asked DH why mummy was screaming at the TV when it wasn't even on

Glad it was useful and your DH seems to be coming round . If you want the option of a waterbirth I'd definitely recommend getting a proper birth pool - it will be deeper and bigger than your bath so you'll have a lot more options on positions - squatting, kneeling, etc. We rented www.birthpoolhire.co.uk/ this one and it was a wonderful wallow in the last couple of weeks .

Another advantage of homebirth is that because the midwife is their with you, they can (hopefully) use more subtle indicators of how your labour is progressing. Which for me meant I didn't have a single internal.

Pruners - I'm so sorry your friend had such a bad experience. In contrast, DD was breech but we knew in advance and so had made sure that the (independent) midwives that attended the birth had the skills necessary. I can imagine that if the midwives weren't confident and a breech was undiagnosed it could get stressful .

By the way - my DH was the same as yours until I printed off everything from the homebirth website and got one of the midwifes to talk to him.

He has now turned into the biggest homebirth activist and tells our DD's birthstory to EVERYBODY including random ladies at the supermarket check out who are cooing over DD, very embarassing all round!

I had my first 2 children in hospital and the second 2 at home.

The home births were miles better for many of the reasons people have given - especially risk of intervention, hygiene and general comfort. in general, a low/normal risk pregnant lady is statistically better off at home.

But you need help in the house, from someone reliable who doesn't irritate you. First home birth, dh managed ds1 and 2 for 5 days, including all cooking, with my meals brought up on trays for a day or two. Similar with 4th child. And stay in PJs for as long as possible; have day and night sets so you feel fresh, but not getting dressed does send out the signal you're not back to normal just yet, so it's easier to rest.

I had DD in hospital, and it was not a great experience. There is no way that I would have a home birth though, not because I think that it's a bad idea, but because DH would be such a complete basketcase that it would drive me nuts. To be fair to him, DD almost died the night that she was born, and we were both so knackered and spaced out that we didn't really realise until the crash team whisked her away that there was anything seriously wrong.

Congrats on your pregnancy!

I had a HB with my first child (also did hypno birthing) and it was a fabulous experience. Can't recommend it highly enough and planning to do the same again next time!

Only downside I can see to having a HB is that there's noone to stop your entire family and friends descending upon you for as long as they want. Day after DS was born we had a house full from noon til 7pm non stop. No one really gave a thought to how I might be feeling or that I might want some rest (or even something to eat - it just didn't happen!) so make sure you give someone strict instructions to look out for you!

HTH

my dh was exactly the same re. homebirth for dc2, but was reassurred and everything was fine. i think it's natural for them to worry, and to want everything to be as safe as poss, but given your v short time from hosp, i'm sure a hb is a safe option for you. You do get much better attention at home ime, just start using the gas and air from the time you want the mw to stay at home with you, as legally they can't leave you after that. just a little tip, as i didn't do this with dc3 and i dilated v quickly from 3 - 10 cms and the mw had nipped out to do an ante natal clinic. it was all a bit touch and go, but if only i'd reached for the gas and air earlier, she would have been there. ah well, live and learn and all that!

Hi Looney
Im in exactly the same boat as you, as you know exp dc3 both ds and dd were just over 3hour labours very painful from onset and the half hour travel nearly killed me. I would like to be at home hated being in hospital - DH isnt keen, though he wont say I think he is scared I will make a mess and probably doesnt think a house is clinical enough.
My biggest fear again is travelling as we are closer to a bigger city this time still half hour approx but in rush hour would be an hour maybe plus I dont want to give birth in a car.
I had booking intoday and new MW seems keen for me to be at home pregnancy all being well.