Painful sex 4 years later?

[Polaris92]

So my partner had a very traumatic childbirth. 48 hour labour, back to back, 3rd degree tearing. It was awful for her.

We didnt have sex for best part of a year and a half after because she wasnt comfortable/we tried and it was painful.

It has mostly gotten better but still to this day(DS is 4.5 years) when I, ahem, go in, she winces and I go real gentle and slow. Once we get going she says it's fine.

She went to a doctor in the first year and she said that she couldnt see anything abnormal other than some scar tissue, and when she went for her smear test again nothing out of the ordinary.

My partner doesnt consider this to be a problem, which is fair enough. But I'm just wondering whether I should be trying harder to get her to go see a doctor again? She thinks it's just scar tissue (because the pain is where she tore) but I'm starting to wonder whether something else could be wrong, even possibly a psychological issue. I dont like to think I am causing her pain but she doesnt see it as a problem.

Thankyou for any response

Hi,

Please don’t worry too much about this if your partner doesn’t. Scar tissue is normal after childbirth and can feel uncomfortable for many many years (I highly doubt it’s a psychological issue - scarring after childbirth is very real). As long as your partner is happy to continue past the initial discomfort then that’s all that matters.

@PCar20 thankyou. I was just a bit worried was all. Its horrible to feel like I'm hurting her even if it only when we start.