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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Naked in Childbirth????

80 replies

PinkArjuna · 27/10/2004 17:15

I know this seems really trite considering all that you will got through to actually get to the labour. However to me it is more abhorrant than the thought of all the pain blood and gore. I heard it is commen for the midwives to encourage you to take your clothes off. I can't think of anything worse or more humiliating than this. I have little of issue about bringing a baby into the world but find this modesty to be truly alarming and down right disgusting. Each to there own of course - no insult intended. but some people I have spoken to in my area say here they try to force you to be naked when you give birth. Also my understanding is most people do. Though I have never heard of this before. Of course I realise water birth would mean nakedness and that is why I am just not interested. I think anything that would make the mother distressed is bad for birth and if I have a midwife trying to rid me of my clothes as seems to be commen around here I am sorry but I count this as a total invasion of boundaries and would be deeply troubled. This is my number one concern. I understand the bottom half has to be free but I feel Nakedness too much. Way too much. I hate being touched and think it alarming that someone will physically try to remove my clothes in labour

OP posts:
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Angeliz · 27/10/2004 20:38

With dd she was put on my belly for a second then whisked off to clear airays, (meconium had them all worried).

I just can't imagine getting all naked either.
I think the bond will be formed too MI

Angeliz · 27/10/2004 20:39

I mean the bond will be formed ANYWAY!

motherinferior · 27/10/2004 20:40

Actually I realise I feel quite strongly about this!

Clayhead · 27/10/2004 20:45

MI, when I mentioned skin-to-skin I wasn't saying it was in anyway better (I've done both too), just that that was the only time the midwives talked to me about removing my clothing.

prettycandles · 27/10/2004 20:45

I felt very strongly about skin-to-skin. Not so much for the bond, but becuase I felt perhaps it would be comforting for the baby to be next to my heartbeat and warmth and smell. We even put it in my birth plan that if it wasn't possible to deliver straight onto me, then the baby should be given straight to dh for him to give him/her skin-to-skin. Dh whipped his shirt off as soon as he'd whipped mine off - ready!

Oh god, I'll never forget it...it makes everything worthwhile .

midden · 27/10/2004 20:54

I feel the same way prettycandles. I think aside from all the recent medical research underlining the benefits for mum and baby when you think from the baby's point of view, how much nicer to emerge from the cosy safe and warm envoironment of the womb to the warmth and smell of mum or dads skin, and hear that reassuring heartbeat. I am not a hippy just broody.

Caroline5 · 27/10/2004 21:18

dd1 was a Caesarian, wore hospital gown. dd2 was a normal birth, I wore a T-shirt and sheet (!) for most of it. However I had an epidural and they had to lift me in and out of the bath afterwards, which was totally undignified! At the time, I didn't care at all though.

yurtgirl · 27/10/2004 21:20

Message withdrawn

tearful · 27/10/2004 21:28

I was naked for first baby (of 3). I was wearing a nightshirt but had been pushing for 4 + hours and was hideously hot. I then got off the bed and delivered standing - I just remember feeling this hot sweaty weight on my back and needing to get rid of it - it was a wonderful feeling of liberation. I was nackered and couldn't care less about anything but getting some sleep!!! With the other two I had a hospital gown on (which are much cooler anyway as open at the back) and I think I just slipped it off one arm to get the skin-skin. to me this was instinct, to get them as close as possible but also to offer a breast.

CarrieG · 27/10/2004 21:29

I actually tried to throw a strop about nasty hospital nightie & wear my own t-shirt - but as I was by that stage staggering around swearing midwife just said 'PUT THE GOWN ON & DON'T BE SO SILLY' & I meekly did. Still not sure what she had against my poor t-shirt...it was one of dh's band's, & I thought it might be quite nice for the pictures afterwards...

Can honestly say it was the least of my worries at the time, altho' the photos still provoke a 'grrrr'. But I'm sure no-one would dream of forcing you to get naked if you'd really rather not - especially if you make it clear beforehand it'd distress you, which is the last thing the hospital want to do!

midden · 27/10/2004 21:33

skin to skin, eye contact and putting your baby to the breast all stimulate the hormone that helps your placenta to be born too.

You do sound like a person who craves privacy though, to echo acnebrides post, have you considered a home birth?

bonniej · 27/10/2004 21:33

I had a male midwife, a young one at that. No way was I going to get naked in that situation. You really have to do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Skate · 27/10/2004 21:35

Never been encouraged to be naked.

Always had a top on - last time for ds3 just took bottoms off and left on the top I was already wearing - top was quite short but who cares - it was warm and there was only me, dh and one midwife and everyone's seen it before!

For other births, had top on too but was covered up by sheet in between examinations.

Re: skin-to-skin issue, did this with ds1 (just lifted up t-shirt) but was in clinical shock after speed of ds2 so couldn't care less and ds3 had a quick cuddle by me (t-shirt still on) and then off to dh while I was stitched and trying to stop shaking. Actually had most fantastic birth ever for ds3 but felt really ill for the first hour afterwards. Has made no difference to bonding so while it's lovely to have the skin-to-skin contact don't think you won't bond if you don't, that's just rubbish.

blossomhill · 27/10/2004 21:35

I even kept my socks on as my feet were cold. It is your body and do whatever you feel comfortable with at the time. Nobody has any right to tell you what to do. Although I have never heard this before.

midden · 27/10/2004 21:45

Not sure that anyone has said that bonding will not occur if there is no skin to skin, folk have just said that it is nice and can be the first step, just trying to provide some rationality to the naked thing and why a midwife might encourage it.

Original poster
PinkArjuna · 30/10/2004 16:08

I am so glad about your responses. I will get nightshirts with buttons so I can spare a bit of my dignity, however it will mean I can have skin to skin contact without actually having to show anymore than I want. I don't really mind if it was just me and the baby. It is the other people I don't want around. I am not too keen on having a midwife that I may not have really met before - seeing any more than the bare minimum. It is a trust issue. Anyway It is months and months till the birth but I am already having nightmares about it and need to dispel my fears because it makes me not want to have a baby at all.

I'll have to talk about it with the midwife as it is making me very depressed as I will have no birthing partner or anything. I don't have a partner and I guess I am worrying about the birth and after cos I really won't have any support. Not from family and the couple of friends I do have are young and allergic to babies and will be living over 100 miles away. I have got things worked out to go to the NCT when I move house soon. I hope I'll make some friends there. Though I don't know because I hear they are really middle class and I'll be turning up on my own - will just have to see what I find I guess.

OP posts:
PotPourri · 30/10/2004 16:35

Aw Pink. Chin up. You are right that you should discuss it with your midwife next time you see her.

About support in general. NCT is really good. Would agree that it may be a little middleclass, but I have found it extremely useful for dealing with all my fears about the birth - and for getting myself clear on my birth plan. If you talk to the coordinator when booking, they might be able to book you in with a group that has other single mums to be. I know my local lady booked me in with people who live in the same area. And the hospital should also do an antenatal course, so you could meet people there. Another way to build your support network is through meet ups on mumsnet. There is nothing to beat people who are in the same boat for a bit of reassurance (e.g. single parents, young mums, local mums, first time mums etc). We all have the same and different fears, so can help each other out. None of my friends have any kids and I live far away from my family, but these things have helped me build confidence.

About support at the birth - Have you considered a Doula? They are ladies that have given birth themselves, who can help you through it - like a birth partner. If you could meet your Doula a few times before and talk through your concerns and birth plan, this may be a good option, as you would have someone there fighting your corner.

Original poster
PinkArjuna · 30/10/2004 17:52

The midwife was really good and explained that they can just pop baby up your top afterwards for that skin to skin and explained all sorts of things. She also thought that all the books with the graphic pictures were not helpful. I didn't have any fears about The birth till I started seeing the aunaturel photo's in the birthbooks. Sometimes I think you can just have too much information.

I figure by the time it gets to the Birth I'll not give two hoots but will avoid all gorey photo's and information that doesn't seem practical to my preparing for a baby. I think the classes and midwife will be enough. had enough earth mother pictures to last me a life time here...

Nope I can't afford a doula. I am in College now anyway so I am quite broke as it is. I have worked out my finances for having a child but a doula is way too expensive. Thanks for the advice though. Perhaps I might be able to persuade my father to get me one for a birthday thing to support me, as I know he will not be near me when I go into Labour as otherwise my mother will try to be involved. I am moving away to get away from her and the control she has exercised in my life.

I definately know of the confidence you talk of. That is the reason I am moving because I know if I stay here I will have no confidence whatsover and my emotionally abusive mother wants grandchildrean so badly She has been opening all my mail that has been forwarded trying to keep a hold on my life. I have not even told her I am pregnant and my father and I know we should keep it a secret from her for both my sake and the child. Part of moving will give me confidence as having the seven bridge between us can only be a good thing as I don't wish for her negative influence on my potential childs life.

I feel much better about the birth now and am determind to try the NCT cos I think it is the best source of information and classes. I am pretty much willing to try anything no matter how I am excepted because the child will be the most important thing in this. I have been finiding out about Gingerbread and planning to join various community groups when I move. Perhaps I'll meet some good friends. I am glad to be putting these worries behind me earlier and having plans in place to help when I become a single mum - if all goes to plan (fingers crossed)

Oh the midwife has writen it down that I no way in any way shape or form want to be naked so I am not afraid of that anymore

OP posts:
aloha · 30/10/2004 18:27

I have to say, one thing I LOVED about my caesarian is that I never felt I lost my dignity, that I remained myself throughout and that I never felt like I was beyond caring about anything. My son was not delivered onto me, he was also held by my dh afterwards, thought breastfed very soon after in the recovery room. And I would challenge anyone to find anyone more bonded to their child than me! And vice-versa of course. Intant love. I think it's obviously nice to have a cuddle, but it's nonsense to suggest that anyone can't 'bond' unless they are naked.

hmb · 30/10/2004 18:30

I wore an old baggy tee shirt/ nightdress thing when I was in labour with my first. Never got to deliver (different story not related to clothing!), but felt quite comfortable. No one gave two hoots. Whatever you choose to wear, make sute you don't mind throwing it out at the end

I am a very, very shy person (physically) but I can honestly tell you that by the end I wouldn't have given a damn if the coldstream guards had seen me starkers as long as they were prepared to help to get the baby out

Wear whatever you are comfortable with

edam · 30/10/2004 18:31

PinkArjuna, I'm sure the doulas who post on MN have mentioned they have a scheme to support women who wouldn't usually be able to pay for their services. Think Pupuce (one of the doulas) said some MNers have used this scheme. Do a search on past conversations with Pupuce's name and you might find the link.
Sorry to hear you've been having such a hard time. Sounds as if moving might be a really positive step though. Good luck.

edam · 30/10/2004 18:34

Re: throwing t-shirt/nightie away afterwards - that's what I'd planned to do but my lovely sisters, both at the birth, took it away and next time I saw it it was hanging on the washing line! Bless them, they must have scrubbed and soaked it... normally I'd be embarrassed but what the hell, they'd seen me give birth and clearly didn't put them off as they both started their own families since.

pupuce · 30/10/2004 18:52

Pinkarjuna - there are doulas available for free... you can CAT (contact another talker) me if you want more info.

jasper · 30/10/2004 22:21

I LOVED the complete preservation of my digity also (3 awesome vaginal births)

hunkermunker · 30/10/2004 22:51

I had a water birth and wore a nightshirt - there was no question of keeping it on after the birth for obvious reasons(!) so I put a hospital gown on and dropped one shoulder of it to nuzzle with my boy. I wouldn't have wanted to be naked in the water - but once I was in it, there was no way I was getting out! Don't let worrying about wearing something keep you out of the water if that's what you want to try.