Giving birth alone

[Mummysarah12]

Hi mums,
My second LO is due end of March & I’m really stressed about what I’m going to do with my 21 month when I go into labour. My mum is a 40 min drive away but she’s not very practical or hands on with him at all that I just don’t feel comfortable leaving him with her for a long period of time. My partners family live about an hour away but due to the lockdowns, we had hardly seen them that I worry leaving him with unfamiliar people.

I’m also mindful about family not being available if anyone is having to isolate etc

So I’m panicking over what to do...he is also very clingy to me at the moment which isn’t helping me feel better about leaving him.

I am wondering whether my partner just stays with him & misses the birth as I feel like I would be so stressed in labour if I was worrying about my little one. It’s not ideal as I’d rather my partner was there but I feel my priority is making sure my son is happy & going to be ok if I have to be in hospital for a few days.

Has anyone given birth on their own? Any advice? Or any advice on how to make arrangements for my son during a COVID lockdown?

Would you consider a home birth? I had two, although I did have lists of people on stand by to come round and look after the older dc. Some of them were far more acquaintances friends, in the end it was the next door neighbour stood in the kitchen with the ambulance men As there was a chance I might have had to transfer To hospital (dc had passed meconium). We weren’t friends at all, but I trusted she knew what to do with the dc if they had woken up before my dm had arrived.

Or, does your child go to a childcare setting? Could you enquire there if any of the members of staff would be in a position to come to your rescue if you went in to labour while they weren’t at work?

My DH didn't make it there on time when DC2 was born. He was waiting for my parents to arrive to look after DC1. (they live miles away) before he could join me. I am fairly stoical but it was absolutely fine, there were so many staff there. If you would feel happier with your DH looking after DC1 I would say go for it alone.

We are planning for my dad to come and collect ds from the hospital he's about 1hr away and I'm 35mins from the hospital. So hopefully by the time we are arrive he won't be far away.
We try and FaceTime my dad twice a week so ds knows who he is and when he has gone in between lockdowns found he loves going and spending time with them.
If worst comes to worst I will do it on my own if labour is quick but fingers crossed I won't have to.
If not grandparents do u have friends that would look after dc or could you look into someone local like a baby sitter that dc could get to know before hand ?

I'm in the se situation and it's stressing me out. If it wasn't for the pandemic I'm sure a friend could help but my son hasn't seen anyone for a year so they'd all be strangers to him. I'm actually considering an elective c section so I can put my son in nursery so I don't have to give birth on my own. Is that crazy?! I have had some pregnancy complications and a large baby so maybe safest way anyway

I gave birth alone at 17 and managed just fine. So fine in fact that I was more than happy to do it again for DC2 but I felt mean not letting my friend stay after she drove me to hospital so quickly at 7am. But she and the midwife sat quietly away while I laboured which was lovely

I must add DC2 was a very quick labour, had I not bled chances are I would have had her at home alone by accident!

I nearly did with DD2, we’d gone to hospital and DH was going to take DD1 aged 4 to nursery then come back but they said he’d miss it if he did that. So he spent the next hour in the waiting room with DD1 trying to get hold of somebody to come and get her. Finally sorted and picked up, he appeared in the room about 40 mins before DD2 appeared. To be honest I’d have been fine alone the whole thing as I’d done most of it. Barely registered he’d appeared!!!!

Thank you everyone for the replies & suggestions, really helpful.

@Maryann1975 I’m not keen on a home birth as I had a few complications with my first so I’d feel safer in hospital.

Our childminder lives local so I plan to call on her if needed. But I do panic if she has to close because of covid. Covid has made this all extra complicated &’stressful!!!

I also have the added complication that my partner doesn’t drive so it’s not like we can drive & drop off our son on to a friend en route 🤦‍♀️

Fingers crossed all will work out though....🤞

I gave birth in the last lockdown in March alone as I was in a similar situation with dc1, partner stayed home to look after dc.
It was actually fine. I was in so much pain I didn't care at all lol
Partners that did come for the other women had to leave after the birth.
The midwifes were really lovely I felt really well looked after. It was overall a good experience imo

If you don't want to birth alone and would like the support why don't you ask your mum? And then your husbands there for your little one.. I know not all mums are the same but I had my mum and she was absolutely amazing because she had done it all before

I have 4 children. DH was there for 2 of the births - but the other 2 arrived far too quick and he missed them. It was totally fine. I almost found it easier not having there for the two labours as I get irritated with him when I am in pain.

Im in a similar situation OP, I'm having an ELCS and wondering what to do with DD aged 3. Im hoping it'll be on a preschool day and DH can drop off and pick up as normal, but be with me during the actual birth. Not sure how feasible recovery on the ward is without a partner to help after a CS though. But the way I feel atm is that I'm more stressed about DD and I'll just manage being alone with baby.

I had an elcs in December. It was touch and go but in the end DH was allowed into theatre and then home an hour after baby born. I was alone for two days and nights. I was prepared to go alone though until the day before when they said he could attend.

It worked well as I knew he was then home with DD.

It was absolutely fine, no issues at all. I have a high conflict job so was in a private room. Baby born about 9.30am and catheter was out by lunch. I was up by mid afternoon and shower that evening. I buzzed whenever I was struggling and someone appeared and lifted baby. Even in normal times, like when first baby was born, DH would not have been allowed to stay overnight in our area. The midwifes were absolutely incredible as were all the staff. It makes me smile when I think back as I enjoyed every second of it.

It depends what you are like in labour? My husband was present the first time and I didnt want him anywhere near me as thats just me when im in pain. So felt like I was alone. Although the magic of it after baby arrived i wanted him there so much.
What does ur partner think? Does he mind missing that moment? If not then i think i would do what u are doing as if be too worried about my toddler. Times are a bit tough at the moment aswel.
If ur partner wants to be present then i would drop my toddler off most likely he will be ok. And after baby arrives ur partner can leave. Even if u need to stay. Hope it all works out well.