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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Home birth with two toddlers?

14 replies

Catsandkittens638297 · 14/12/2020 20:37

I'm currently almost 18w pregnant with our third baby. The first two had healthy pregnancies, first babys labour was 5 hours, second babys I was in hospital 20 minutes before she came.

We currently live an hour's drive from family which isn't far but in both families only one person drives (my mum and his brother).
We don't know anyone where we live at all.
DH brother works away the majority of the time and my mum is an anxious no motor way driver.

I'm at the point my only option is a home birth and pray someone could get here (like sending my younger sister on a train but whether she'd get here in time).

My DC will be almost 4 and 2 when the baby is due, has anyone got any home birth experiences Especially with children present?

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 14/12/2020 22:28

Why is your only option a home birth? Couldn’t one member of family come to stay with you for a while? Then you leave to go to the hospital. If it’s your preferred choice though to do it at home I’d still have another adult there to be able to take them out the room as it might be distressing to hear you in pain but I would explain the process in an age appropriate way beforehand rather than just let them be shocked.

sweetkitty · 14/12/2020 22:37

I’ve had 2 home births with toddlers in the house. The first time for DD2, DD1 was only 18 months and there was only DH. If I had had to be transferred to hospital DH would have had to have stayed behind. DD1 slept through the whole thing (and I’m not quiet).

For DD3 I had a friend come up, again DD1 and 2 slept through the whole thing (they were 4 and 2 1/2).

Could your mum come and stay over for a bit/younger sister?

Hazelmazel · 14/12/2020 22:42

I had a home birth with my third, other dc were 2 and 3 at the time. Also had quick labours and to be honest the midwives almost missed it, they arrived with 15 mins to spare.
It all happened overnight though, baby was born at 4am, after being in labour for 3 hours.
If all else fails and they are awake, could you do it alone with the midwives while Dh looks after the toddlers?

DramaAlpaca · 14/12/2020 22:52

I was in labour overnight and hoped the baby would be born before morning. I didn't really want to give birth at home with two small children around. I had no family locally, but a close friend who lived nearby offered to be on call to look after my almost 4 and two year old. She's an early riser and didn't mind coming to get them at 7am when it became apparent they'd wake up before the baby arrived. Once they'd been whisked away I relaxed and DS3 was born an hour later.

AcornAutumn · 14/12/2020 22:55

Why is a home birth the only option?

I’ll probably get flamed but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I have one friend who had a planned home birth with teenage twins in the house and she regretted it. Thy were upset enough generally but she ended up having to go to hospital anyway.

Hazelmazel · 14/12/2020 23:01

acorn Why is a home birth the only option?

Home births are generally recommended for women who have precipitate labours as it's much better to give birth at home than potentially in a car on the way to hospital. That's the reason I assumed OP said home birth was her only option, as she's expecting it to be quick

Original poster
Catsandkittens638297 · 15/12/2020 08:11

Home birth is only really the only option because we don't want DH to miss the birth and we literally don't have anyone that will be willing to help us. When the baby is due my sister is going through her alevel exams so can't really stay with us.
We literally have no one

OP posts:
Original poster
Catsandkittens638297 · 15/12/2020 08:12

And if we go to the hospital we have no one to watch them and because I'm quick I dont want to be waiting hours for someone to get here and give birth with no one medically trained.

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 15/12/2020 10:10

@Catsandkittens638297

And if we go to the hospital we have no one to watch them and because I'm quick I dont want to be waiting hours for someone to get here and give birth with no one medically trained.
Right, I thought it didn’t sound like a preferred choice.

I’m sorry to say it but what happens if you have to go to hospital anyway?

Wouldn’t it be easier to get your mum to stay with you from your expected due date?

Original poster
Catsandkittens638297 · 15/12/2020 14:13

My mum isn't able to she has two young children her self

OP posts:
Bigredriding · 15/12/2020 14:25

If you’ve had two straightforward deliveries before you’re statistically unlikely to need transferring into hospital from a homebirth. If you did need transferring in would you be happy to go alone (with a midwife) while your partner arranges childcare? I’ve recently had a homebirth with DC2 and this was our worst case scenario plan.

DC1 slept through the labour (baby born at 3am) and it was magic when she woke up and saw her new sibling had arrived in the night. Baby was born within an hour of the midwives arriving and they tidied up after. If at any point I’d have wanted to go into hospital I could have - and I guess you’d have that option if your body awkwardly went into labour at a time when your 4 and 2 year old are awake and you can’t get them out of the house? Booking a homebirth just gives another layer of flexibility I think.

PlanDeRaccordement · 15/12/2020 14:28

You could hire a doula who can come to your house when you are in labour. Usually doulas assist the mother, but some are willing to take care of young children in the home while your DH and midwives are with you. So, I’d ask around the doulas because they are used to dropping everything and being present at short notice to help during a home birth.

rookgizzardpie · 17/12/2020 05:34

@AcornAutumn

Why is a home birth the only option?

I’ll probably get flamed but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I have one friend who had a planned home birth with teenage twins in the house and she regretted it. Thy were upset enough generally but she ended up having to go to hospital anyway.

why would teenagers be upset about birth Confused
Ginmonkey84 · 17/12/2020 10:35

I had a homebirth and although a bit older my kids slept through the whole thing until the very end when obviously I got much louder. I would say to have someone else there if you can’t have your mum. Maybe a friend? My mum sat with the kids until the baby was born when they woke. Most little ones don’t wake up but if they do it is one thing you really don’t need to be thinking about or have your DH taken away at that crucial time. X

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