Home birth after terrible hospital birth

[Yennefer19]

DH and I are considering TTC baby #2 but after a really bad labour experience I’m wanting to have a look at a few different options before I go ahead.

So I had my DD in hospital. My waters broke but I was not in labour so I was booked in for an induction 24 hours later. However about 18 hours later I went into natural labour so when I did go to the hospital I was already in labour.

However I think because I had gone in there for an induction, despite saying I was having contractions and I needed two people to actually help me into the ward, I was just left. The midwife never examined me and when I said I was in considerable pain just gave me an ibruprofen.

I then felt like I needed to push and when I told my midwife this she told me that it was because the baby was on my back so putting pressure down there. Again she never examined me. This was my first DD so I never thought to question this although now I realise I was a bit naive but I was in considerable pain.

Finally the doctor came to see me and then started telling me about the different induction methods before finally examining me for the first time (about 4 hours after I first got there) and telling me I was already fully dilated.

I ended giving birth still in the clothes I came in with, and with no pain relief which was absolutely not my plan, to be honest I would have taken anything at that point.

It was just an awful experience and I had briefly flirted with having a home birth before but decided as it was my first time I thought I would be better being in a hospital because I wasn’t fully aware of the labour process, was worried about not being monitored etc. (I know ironic)

What are people’s experiences with home births, would I get better attention? I know my experience is probably different to a lot of peoples but I have anxiety and I just don’t know if I could put myself in possibly that position again.

I had a very similar experience to you with DC1 and a home birth with my second. The home birth was wonderful, one of the best experiences of my life. I felt so safe and supported with my own MW (and then a second one for the pushing/birth) and was monitored far more closely than I was in hospital.

There’s much less mess than you think and the MWs take everything with them. Our local GP popped by the next day to do the well baby check. It was a bit like being in a jolly bit of Call The Midwife!

We’re very close to a big teaching hospital so that reassured me. The MWs told me their threshold for going in is really low and if they have even an inkling that mother or baby are not doing well they will transfer you. Luckily for us that wasn’t necessary.

In your position I would certainly consider it. I had a disastrous first delivery, result in baby in NICU, but my second, on the hospital located MLU was a much better experience. If we were having a 3rd (we are not) I would consider a home birth.

It was the reason I picked a home birth. As soon as you having regular contractions one midwife arrives, when you are pushing another arrives. Two on one attention.

I had such a wonderful home birth for my second, I tried but transferred with by first. Genuinely life changing experience giving birth at home in my own safe space. It never felt out of control or unsafe. I was brilliantly looked after.

Sorry about your experience, they did do the correct thing in not checking, especially often, as you have a much higher risk of infection once your waters have broken. So this wasnt actually neglect just protocol. The same would happen if you had a home birth and your waters had broke, they would still refuse to check.
Take it as a compliment that you got all the way to pushing with no pain relief and they still couldn't tell you was at that stage. I was crying in agony when I went in at 10cm you could defo tell I was in labour 🤣