Scared of second labour.

[charlou89]

Hi all

Not sure weather it's just me, but I'm petrified of giving birth second time round. Had a bad labour with my first. 5 days in labour and she had to be delivered via vacuum delivery and had to be cut. It wasn't a great experience.
So now I'm only 10 weeks away and I'm so nervous about leaving my little girl or something going wrong. I all ready suffer with anxiety and I'm currently taking medication for that. But thought it would be easier this time around. But I just can't stop panicking. Did anyone else have this? Or have any tips to get through this?

Many thanks.

Hello OP. I feel exactly the same and had a traumatic delivery with my son 7 years ago. I'm not pregnant but would love another but am apprehensive. I have anxiety too like you and this is making it worse and kind of magnifies everything. On the plus side, it's unlikely that your next labour would be the same as your first. Try not to worry, I am sure everything will be ok!

First experience was horrendous. Second one much better. Your body has done it before and you will be fine

Don't ask about the third. That one is unpredictable

My first was scary and overwhelming. My now exh wouldn't come in with me so I was unexpectedly alone. My second was lovely. I knew what I was doing, I felt much more in control and yes it was easier. As pp said, my body knew what to do. Still hard work of course! I went on to have a third two years later!

Have heard the second one is easier! I've been apprehensive about a second as first was so bad (induced at 42 weeks, high blood loss and back into hospital with more bleeding twice after going home), but the doctors at the hospital assured me second time round would not be so bad.

My first labour sounds similar to yours. Room full of people, vacuum cap delivery, episiotemy and tear, baby back to back with dropping heart rate, almost had a c section.

Second labour was very different. I felt I knew what I was doing more, understood when to push, plus the baby was in a better position. The birth was calm, just a couple of midwives present. No episiotomy. I did tear a little, but they said I probably wouldn't have torn at all if I didn't have so much scar tissue. Recovery was much more rapid. A positive labour.

I was the same as you, and also have anxiety. I had a ventouse, tear on a vein and haemorrhage with first. Lost a lot of blood and anemic for ages after etc. This time around they planned on giving me drugs to stop the bleeding and said it was a 1 in 6 chance of retearing.

I had my little girl in May in lockdown and it went very well and I was out within 24hrs of her birth. I was induced as she didn't want to show when I had a warm compress and slow delivery of head to prevent tearing. Drugs to stem bleeding and it was such a lovely experience compared to first.

Have you spoke to your midwife about how you feeling? I did an anxiety course in pregnancy (which was who said about the STOMP technique of the warm compress)

Good luck

I was exactly the same as you. First labour was long and awful, back to back, waters broke early and ended in every possible intervention including epidural, ventouse and episiotomy too. By the end I had an infection and baby has sepsis. She was on SCBU for a week and we spent w lot of the first month of her life in and out of hospital.

I was so anxious about the second, and I knew I had to be induced too. But it was so much better and so quick - and such a healing experience emotionally. I had the pessary at midday, labour kicked off mildly overnight and really got underway (so I needed a TENS) at 9am the next day. They broke my waters at 12.30pm and she arrived just after 3pm. Did it all on gas and air. I had a small tear that needed stitches but no big deal compared to before. I walked to the toilet by myself within 30 mins of delivery.

She's now 8 weeks old and I've felt fully healed and normal for at least 3-4 weeks now.

Honestly your body has done it before. Once it gets going it absolutely remembers what to do

I felt the same with my second after an awful first delivery.
It was so much more scary having the knowledge of what it could be like.
However, as others have said, the second time was so much easier. Everything went as smoothly as it possibly could. It was quicker, my body did what it should with no intervention needed and no episiotomy or tear so I wasn't left with the damage I had the first time.
Your body has done it before now so it will all work better the next time.
Good luck with it x

Thankyou so much for all you replies. Means a lot. Still nervous tho. Going to see midwife today. So may talk to her about it. They've also told me I'm growing bigger then I should but that was my old midwife before I changed to the new one! I don't even think I was laying correctly when she measured me and it was very quick and rushed out the room. That's why I changed my midwife. Causing me a lot of anxiety cause I'm thinking it's a bigger baby as well xx