Scared about giving birth

[Tabbie01]

Has anyone been worried about giving birth then read a "horror story" in a magazine, newspaper or online that's just made it 100x worse, or seen something on tv that's made you worried? I'm currently writing an EQP that focuses on women's mental health during pregnancy and would love some answers from some real women! My question is: How does the Media Exacerbate the Fear Surrounding Childbirth? Any answers appreciated :)

Hey I was watching a lot of programmes on the run up to giving birth. One born every minute and Emma Willis delivery babies were both very good and I found representative.

There were some emergencies and you could see how painful it was for the women. The thing is every Labour is different. Personally I knew in my head that it was going to be painful and I had prepared for that. I elected for a home birth because I knew I'd be a lot more comfortable. It turned out to be the best thing ever. When I asked them for pain relief as I was starting to struggle, It turns out I was 7cm so I got there through relaxation and breathing. The reason I'm telling you this is because I want you to hear a positive birth story. I suffer with anxiety and I felt so in control. I think the media are not going to show just 'every day' births all the time because I guess it won't make as great drama??

Seek out positive birth stories. Some people post videos on YouTube of their Labour.

I watched various medical/birth programmes and came to realise they weren't "horror stories" they're just experiences of childbirth. I vividly remember an episode of OBEM which I watched before and, by chance, after having my first. The labouring woman was repeatedly denied pain relief because the midwives thought it wasn't that bad yet. Pre-DC1 I took that as a sign of hope important mental strength and positivity were. Post-DC1 I realised that was a horror story and I had to switch it off. Because the woman was disbelieved and ignored when she really needed help.

I think the media actually does a massive disservice, not in discussing the bad experiences (which I actually don't think it does enough) but in pushing the idea of 'positive' as the only "normal" birth. Women are encouraged to ignore the bad and seek out the good. It removes balance and encourages the sense that, if it isn't a positive experience, either your body or your mindset were at fault and you should keep quiet so you don't scare other pregnant women.

Looking back, my own experiences would have been much better without the media focus on positivity. It damaged my mental health when things went badly south and I felt I wasn't allowed to talk about it (which comes across as a subtext in your OP).

TL;DR
In my experience the media exacerbates fear around childbirth by making women feel like failures if they have a "horror story" instead of helping them realise the horror stories aren't horror but part of the birth spectrum and not something to be hidden.