Hi everyone,
Judging by older threads, I'm not alone in this but thought I'd start a new thread.
I've suffered with Tokophobia since a very young age, ever since watching a very graphic sex education video where a poor woman was screaming with a baby between her legs. To me, labour is barbaric. I can't even stand the idea of having a baby growing inside me, kicking me, making me feel sick, still birth, the whole lot!
To be clear, I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks at aged 38, got pregnant at 39 and terminated because everything just got on top of me and the idea of going through it all was too much.
Part of me would love to be a parent but at 40 and the risks rising, let along having to go through pregnancy is literally my idea of hell on earth. I was having therapy in Sydney (where we lived when I was pregnant) and had an excellent therapist who said she'd happily write me a letter insisting on a c-section, supporting my Tokophobia etc.
To be honest, the idea of a c-section is absolutely awful too, to be cut open, I'd rather just be put asleep to be honest! I know this sounds all very dramatic but it stirs in me such strong feelings.
Can anyone help, is pregnant, trying to get pregnant, especially similar age in the same boat with these feelings? It just seems so unfair women have to go through this. Any words appreciated.