Baby Won't remember

[cafedesreves]

I've recently had a baby and am obsessing over the fact he won't remember any of his first three years of life. I feel really sad he'll have no recollection of all the wonderful times we are having together.
I suffer from OCD and it is making me so sad and upset he won't remember any of what he experiences. Any thoughts?

He won't have verbal memories but the first three years are absolutely critical in developing attachment, giving him a sense of who he is in relation to others.

If you take lots of photos and videos he'll be able to look at them when he's older and see what he was like and the things you did. My children love looking at photos of themselves when they were little.

The first few years are the most important in their development, so actually they will "remember" them their entire lives.

Also you could write a diary to record the things you did. I wonder if your ocd is because you're worried about these memories being lost.

I highly recommend scrapbooking as a new hobby for you. I've documented my 2 year old's entire life so far and it's just wonderful to look back at ❤️

Happy moments aren’t wasted by not being remembered - I suppose remembering something lets you enjoy it afterwards as well as at the time, but it’s the at the time enjoyment that’s the main thing.

Maybe you could focus on creating one nice way of commemorating these times, something that you could share with him afterwards, like a photo album, scrapbook, second-a-day video, keepsake box or similar? But don’t let yourself get too hung up on it.

I think it’s natural to feel a bit melancholy about the passing of time when you have a baby, because they are always growing and changing and you just get to know them and then they change again. Try not to let the feeling get overwhelming, easier said than done I know.

@8MinutesToSunrise

He won't have verbal memories but the first three years are absolutely critical in developing attachment, giving him a sense of who he is in relation to others.

Absolutely this Think of the early years as an echo that will follow him through the rest of his life. He won't have the absolute memories but the positive experiences and the secure attachments will echo through his entire life

I always joke with mine that u shouldn't have bothered to take them out before they were 7 and saved my money. But its just that. A joke. The early years are the building blocks that develop resilience, attachment and a sense of self. They are vitally important and although they won't remember a lot of things positive experience are not wasted.

He will not remember but you will...relax and enjoy and make happy memories for yourself 💐

A scrapbook, video clips, photos and a memory box where you can put flyers for all the places you go, postcards sent back addressed to your child when you go anywhere staying where you went and what you did. Plus your child will have you to tell them the things they don't remember.

Thanks everyone! Great ideas x

I write to my daughter every year on her birthday just to summarise how amazing the last year has been, talk about things that have happened and how she's grown. My hope is to give it to her when she's 18, so she knows just what she's given to our lives

He won't remember in the way we hold memories as adults, but he will remember it all in the sense that it will shape the development of his brain and nervous system. Which is a far greater gift to him in my view.

Take lots of videos and pictures so you can show him throughout his life.
Write a journal
Make a scrapbook
Get the milestone cards too

Hope these will help reduce your anxiety about it. Xx

As a childminder I tell myself that I'm such an important part of their brain development. Yes I'm not going to be remembered like their favourite teacher later in life, but my influence will be in the depths of their personality somewhere! All the experiences you are giving your children are loading them with cultural capital that is vital for their development and helping them become wonderful humans! X