Getting really anxious about sleep deprivation

[TangBloodyFastic]

Hi all
As I am rapidly approaching my due date I can't help but feel really anxious about what is to come
I am really worried about sleep deprivation
All I am reading is how hard it is and how awful the lack of sleep is and it's making me dread what is to come and my ability to cope (I am not an anxious person!)
I am hoping to BF but the posts I'm reading about how hard/awful it is are really putting me off.
Can anyone share any positive stories to get my mind back on track and try and lift some of the doom and gloom which I am now dreading

Thank you all so much for your reassuring words

I am going to not stress any more about it and take each day as a new day and sleep/nap when I can. Stressing isn't going to help me so why do it

I feel I am a "get on with it" kind of person so fingers crossed it will be manageable.

I am currently in early labour so I've more pressing matters to be addressed 😬

Wish me luck! 👍🏻

@herethereandeverywhere the toddler comment made me laugh 😆

I've got a 4 month old at the moment and although the first few nights were tough and I was tired then, after day 5 it's really been fine. I normally need a lot of sleep (I've been known to regularly go to bed at 8.30 as a grownup) and I can honestly say being a first time mum is not the most tired I've ever been, not by a long shot. My baby is not a "good sleeper" is breastfed and contact naps but it's totally manageable. I personally think that the tiredness generally comes if you are trying to do other stuff as well (cook, clean, attempt to not look a mess lol) but if you just bathe in the heady newness of tiny baby life and your partner looks after you while you recover then you'll be totally fine xxx

Wonderful news, @TangBloodyFastic - I hope everything goes well.

Don’t bother with the house work for a little while and just try to eat shower and sleep. I found breastfeeding so convenient as you don’t have to get up and prepare a bottle, just literally whack your boob out, jobs a gooden. Tbh the newborn days are way easier than all the regressions and leaps and teething that take place. Haha! No one tells you about the really fun stuff! Good luck x

I breastfed and co slept with all four of mine, they all settled much better when they were close to me. And I could lie down and doze whilst they fed through the night instead of actually having to get up which was a massive bonus. I had a next 2 me crib which was a life saver!

My first was a terrible sleeper, my second is a dream. No difference in what I'm doing, just pure luck. Turns out if you have a good sleeper, it's a lovely, lazy, contented time. If you have a bad sleeper, it's very very difficult but, frankly, you get through it because you have to and it does pass.

I found breastfeeding very hard for the first two weeks both times with a low point at around ten days. Then it was easy. I'm not particularly maternal, definitely not a natural, attachment type parent, but I found bfing surprisingly intuitive. It's food, water, comfort - if in doubt, shove a boob in, and it doesn't even need to be sterilised.

Good luck OP!

I was someone who NEEDED 10-11 hours sleep every night or I just couldn't function.
At the weekend, I could happily do 12 hours.
Baby cane along and it was so weird, a switch flicked. I could suddenly run on very little sleep and not feel nauseous/exhausted.
In the first 5 days I remember i only slept 10 hours total. I still felt quite normal.
My DS is a terrible sleeper (he's one now and wakes every 90 minutes).
I'd say I averaged 5 hours a night for the first year. Surprised myself at not feeling tired; I do think it's a weird biological / hormonal thing.
I often find the 'worry' of something is worse than the experience itself.

Theses are perfectly normal worries and anxieties. I'm a mum of three the youngest is 8 months. There all different and I breast fed all three with various degrees of success. Yes it can be sore to start with but remember if you wear new shoes they can hurt to. Use loads of lanolin cream and nipple shields etc. There is lots of virtual support out there with la leche league and British breastfeeding network. So do reach out maybe even before baby arrives and they can help. And remember fed is best no matter how, your mental health has to take priority. Just take it a day at a time xxxxx

Also I meant to say RE the sleep deprivation. I found the early newborn stage easier for sleep. As I would feed and they would be In A deep sleep. When they are older it can be harder. I'm in the midst of a sleep regression now and it's so hard we have good days and bad days but I just rant to anyone who will listen and treat myself to wine at end of the week 😂

Yes it's absolutely awful but the difference was I didn't really know it was coming, not to that extent. The effects weren't really explained in my baby classes and it hit me like a ton of bricks. All I came away with from the nct classes was 'it's not a competition between you and your partner about who is more tired' useless advice....breastfeeding mothers ARE more tired then dads because they have frequently interrupted sleep to feed.

I was a zombie from months 3-6 but things massively improved once baby went in their own room.

I breastfed which meant I did all the night feeds. But you go back to sleep fairly quickly and easily. I still really longed for those nice four hourly chunks of sleep. I found expressing quite laborious and difficult so didn't bother unless I had to. Despite the sleep interruption I still am very proud of my breastfeeding journey and loved the bond with my child due to it. It's about more than just the sleep so consider all benefits.

My issue was not accepting any help, my mil was constantly pestering me to take baby for a walk and I just couldn't be away from him. Looking back I should have taken the help.

Practical things. Drink loads of water. Don't start any diets in fact have lots of high energy snacks at hand. Utilise the slow cooker or Meal freezing. Take all help offered. Let your cleaning standards drop. Get out every day for some fresh air.

Good luck with your labour OP x

Lots of good posts already. My LO often only does 2-3 hour stretches. I cosleep part of the night and BF her quickly back to sleep and I'm shocked to say it, but I feel fine. Somehow I've just adapted to broken sleep and it's easier than the last few weeks of pregnancy. The first 2 or 3 weeks were tough though. Try not to get hung up on fixing the baby and instead work out how/when you can rest. I think the hardest thing for me was not being able to clock off on an evening, it's a 24/7 job, but the sleep has been manageable.

I hope you get a child like DC2, slept in 3 and 4 hour chunks from the offset. So much easier to deal with. Sleeping 8 hours (11-7) from 10 weeks.

DS on the other hand, almost broke me. Woke every 45minutes until 8 months old. Made me mentally and physically ill. Wouldn't take a bottle and wouldn't settle without a feed. It was genuinely he'll.

I can honestly say it's so short term that it's really not worth worrying about!!
I'm pregnant with baby n2 If there's one thing I am relaxed about it's the night feeds/sleepless nights!
My first was a very easy baby though so maybe I'm in for it this time 😂
Try not to think about it too much & if times do get hard just remember it will be gone like a flash & you'll wonder what all the fuss was about one day! Good luck you will be fine!

I was worried about this too, but I haven't been nearly as sleep deprived as I feared! I co-sleep with EBF DD. We go to bed at 10pm and she feeds to sleep. She wakes me at around 3am and 6am for a feed, and then we get up at 9am. I'm actually better rested than I was during pregnancy. I know co-sleeping isn't for everyone though. This is just my experience, and DD is only 11 weeks so things might change!

I have a positive story for you. We call my DD a unicorn baby (the kind you hear about but never actually meet)

She breastfed like she'd read the book. No issues at all and a right chunker who didn't lose any of her 9lb 3 birth weight.

The first few nights were rough but I coped by sleeping when she did in the day.

By 8 weeks she was consistently sleeping through my night (10-5) and she did a good few of these nights from about week 3 or so.

She had horrific witching hours though crying from 7-10pm daily from 2-16 weeks, but that was fine as long as I ate before it stared.

She was exclusively breastfed.

My combi fed son wasn't as good - so that's one myth busted lol.

The adrenaline does get you through those first few weeks. My advice though is that every day a new mum needs to do 4 things

1. eat three meals (have someone else make them if you need)
2. drink a ton of water
3. have a shower - let daddy have a daily cuddle while doing this
4. something for you. For me this was putting my face on, for my friend it was watching east Enders

Here’s another positive story for you. I BF both of my kids. I echo others in saying having a newborn was INFINITELY better for sleep than the final few weeks of pregnancy. There were some very rough patches around the 4 month sleep regression (maybe 4-6 weeks that were really challenging with both kids) but you get through them. You just do. And then those weeks are behind you. So much so, that we’re now expecting baby #3 and I’m purely excited about it. You’ll be fine!

You adapt. You just go into survival mode and get on with it.

Breastfeeding for me, was really hard for a week or two but after that was amazing. It’s great because it sends the baby straight to sleep! My advice is to learn to feed lying down- wish I’d done that a lot sooner!

I agree tiredness for me kicked in a lot later- around 4 months onwards. By then I felt comfortable co sleeping as she was bigger. So you just latch them on and go back to sleep. There’s no way I’d be wanting to get out of my comfy bed to go downstairs and make a bottle! I get why it’s nice to share feeds though. Sorry just to add on the above advice- it’s very unlikely you will be able to pump much to start with.

Oh and also- Don’t change wet nappies at night, only poos (sorry if that sounds patronising but I wish someone had told me this everytime we changed DD when we saw a tiny amount of blue on her pampers).

Totally agree with everyone else. Mix of hormones and sleepy babies meant that I was delighted to wake up and feed my baby every few hours at newborn.

Also, it’s not like you have anything to do the next day. Sleep deprivation is hard if you have a whole day of work ahead. But sitting on your sofa feeding your baby and then napping when she does is honestly gorgeous.

Really really enjoy every minute.

I'm ridiculous without sleep but when its a baby you have no choice and instinct takes over. You do it as you have too.

I also loved night time feed with a newborn. Though not as fun now said newborn is now 8 x

Do not, do not, do NOT compare your baby and your experience with anyone elses.

You'll be upset that (a) they are not different and (b) they are different at the same time.

Some babies sleep during the day. Some sleep during the night. Some do both. Some do neither. I'm afraid you just have to go with flow, safe in the knowledge that it is "just a phase".

I used to sit on the bed during the night feeds and say to myself 'whats the alternative here?' The alternative would be having no baby and getting sleep. And of course I'd rather have my son! Just puts things into perspective.

And honestly you just get used to it. I haven't slept though a whole night in 8 years.

I used to sit on the bed during the night feeds and say to myself 'whats the alternative here?' The alternative would be having no baby and getting sleep. And of course I'd rather have my son! Just puts things into perspective.

There were times I would genuinely have swapped DC1 for a full night's sleep. That's no lie. The deprivation was so bad. I became really unwell and it developed in to full PND and at points I considered leaving DH and DC just to get some sleep. There's only so long you can survive on 3 hours of broken sleep (as in 3 hours total in a 24hour period). I became dangerous - car crashing, house burning down dangerous.

So OP, it may be bad- really, really bad ASK FOR HELP.