Bridesmaid after c section

[natashasabin10]

So, my best friend is set to get married next year. I'm bridesmaid and my dd will be flower girl (she'll be 16months old).

BUT, I'm now pregnant AGAIN. And the due date is 2 weeks before the wedding.

I'll likely have a c-section, since I had an emergency one last time (dd was breach and passed her meconium).

Now I'm just wondering what to do about the wedding. 2 weeks after a c-section with a newborn will be tough. To further complicate matters, the baby will probably be breastfed, like dd1. So where I go, baby has to go. And expressing and leaving newborn at home with nana isn't an option because if I go all day without feeding /expressing my milk supply will suffer and I don't want that to happen.

My partner and I have brainstormed ideas. Best plan so far is for us to all go, and when newborn gets tired, he can disappear to hotel room with baby, and call me up to breastfeed. Then when dd1 gets tired, I can bring her up. But even then we still have the issue of my health following c section. And my partner worries that drunk people returning to rooms after the wedding will disturb the baby - or baby will disturb other guests.

If I told my friend I couldn't come to his wedding, he'd understand. He's a really great guy. But I just don't want to. I want to be as involved as I can be. The wedding was meant to be this year but got delayed due to covid.

What would you guys plan to do?

How far away from home is the wedding? Will there be other bridesmaids?

What was your recovery like last time? Both mine were emergencies but I had fairly identical easy recoveries.

Electives tend to be at 39 weeks too so that's 3 weeks afterwards. Personally I'd aim to babywear after the ceremony and have your dh focus on your dd. What are the dresses like? If you have any choice due to circumstances, I'd go for a fancy wrap dress for easy feeding.

Remembering how I felt two weeks after my section, I would cancel. Your scar will still be tender, you'll be bleeding, and your emotions will be all over the place.

Even though things were easier 2 weeks post-CS, I wouldn't commit to attending, never mind being a bridesmaid. My experience of bridesmaids dresses is that they aren't really designed with post-birth bodies, CS wounds, lochia and breastfeeding in mind. Could you go as a guest and have baby in a sling?

I was matron of honour for my sister 4 weeks to the day after my section. Wearing a pale pink satin dress!!! Lots of breast pads, nipped off to express or feed throughout the day, we had hired a nanny from my other dcs nursery to look after the baby in the hotel room at the reception venue.
It worked really well, I was able to take a full part in the wedding and still feed the baby. Obviously if I’d had complications post section that would have been a totally different story! The hardest bit was getting the dress made and fitted as obviously I had no idea how my body would be after the birth.

I was a bridesmaid for a best friend 5 weeks after my second emcs. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world but it was brutal and I definitely felt I wasn’t able to give it my all. Luckily my pal was pretty understanding but it definitely set my recovery back a good bit. I would have had more time beforehand had baby arrived on time but it was two weeks late so that was that. I was breastfeeding at the top table, husband in wedding party too so couldn’t help. We had family with us but baby just wouldn’t be settled or sleep as it knew something was going on, so it was just an exhausting day all in. However it was good to be involved and it was the only thing to be done really. I would have still attended as a guest even if I was t a bridesmaid but I’m sure I’d have found that equally exhausting so it was just the way it was and I’m happy I got to support my friend as she had for me