advice for a natural birth the second time

[micegg]

This will probably ramble a bit - you have been warned! Had DD 2 years ago. Waters broke at home on her due date, went into hospital for monitoring and sent home, returned 3 hours later 5cms dilated. We had forgotten the notes so the MW sent DH home and left me in the waiting room alone while they handed over from the night shift to the day shift. TBH I hadnt really got a clue what to expect of childbirth and was terrified by the whole thing. By the time DH got back (half hour later) I was just going into a room and I think I just let go of all the panic I had built up whilst in the waiting room alone. Contractions suddenly changed from being Ok to to being utterly overwhelming and I panicked. Then I couldnt stop pushing. All I remember is the MW saying she thinks I should have an epidural as I would end up with a CS if I carried on pushing and the contractions will get much worse as I am only 5cms dilated. I had bit of G&A but wasnt offered abything else. Took her advice and the magic man appeared with the epidural. Heaven. Labour slowed down so needed drip to speed everything up (10 hours from 5cms to pushing), monitor on DDs head (upset me when I saw the mark on he head) and a urinary catheter. Stuck on bed. 40 mins pushing (not bad really!) and a 2nd degree tear. I am due to give birth again in April and would like to aim for a more natural birth. I dont have any regrets about the epidural but would like the chance to see how I will cope without all the medical interventions I had. I found pushing with an epidural a very odd experience and really didnt like the catheter. My questions are this:

1. Did you have a medical type labour the first time and a more natural one the next and what are your tips on coping?
2. Do techniques like hypnobirthing work? I was thinking fo trying this to deal with the panicking I had last time.
3. Re: pushing early. No way I could have stopped. Have any of you had this and managed to stop. If so, how?
4. Contractions at 5cms were pretty unbearable. Is what the MW said true that they just get worse? I cant imagine how they could have without me dying . OK maybe being a bit dramatic there.

I have posted somewhere else about the hospital I am booked into having a MW led unit and consultant unit. I am aiming for the MW led uit which will mean no epi although I will keep an open mind until the day itself. I really want to be alot calmer this time. Having said that I am happy to take it as it comes on the day so if I ended up on the con led unit with an epi then fine but would like to try.

I am basically cakcing myself after only experiencing the drugged up version of childbirth. Just dont know what to expect.

The first labour is no indication of how the second labour might be.

I think it's a good choice to go with the mw led unit.

Have you considered a doula?

I've had clients that have found hypnobirthing very effective so it's worth investigating.

Also, I would imagine being left along at the hospital did nothing but cause you stress at a time when you needed to feel safe and relaxed.

I hope that your second birth is a much better experience for you.

you can opt for different pain relief, other than epidural

pethidine might have been useful,to relax you and help stop pushing, as would a different position to take pressure off the cervix.. also being encouraged to breathe away the urge..

pushing against a cervix that is not fully dilated is not a good idea, as the cervix can become swollen and and it doesn't open as well as it should.. also pushing too soon tires you out.

i have heard great things about hypnobirthing, lots of mnetters have had positive experiences with it.

contractions do get worse, in terms of intensity , as the last part of dilation is the transition.. which can be very intense, but once you aer in it, it is nearly over.. being well supported, having adequate pain relief if wanted, and being encouraged can all help you through it.

labour is hard work, but it is worth it !

also, second time round, it is often quciker and easier to cope with ,not because the pain is any less, but you hvae done it before !

i;d go for the MW unit myself, an epi can lead to more intervention , eg the drip, also you have to have a catheter, also, can increase chances of an instrumental delivery.

being mobile, active and upright are really important..

Hi micegg, I've already replied on your other thread, but just to add a bit more in response to your questions about how to achieve a natural birth:
Keep as mobile as possible. I had some very scary contractions quite early on with dd1, and changing position really helped. Also, contractions don't necessarily get progressively worse. With ds i remember having some one-off very big, painful contractions, but often these were followed by smaller ones. I remember this because dh said a few times 'Oooh that was a really bad one wasn't it?' but in all honesty it was probably only about 4 or 5 horrendous ones. So, it doesn't necessarily follow that being in dreadful pain at 5 cm means it would have got worse for the next 5 cm.
I haven't experienced hypno birthing, but I would strongly recommend breathing techniques. Get your birthing partner to practise with you. If you can relax, and 'go with the flow' as you enter each contraction rather than fighting it, it really helps. Also, the breathing techniques really do help when you have that overwhelming urge to push and it's too early.Did you try gas and air with your baby? It sounds as if you went from nothing to full-on epidural and medicalised birth which maybe means you didn't have a chance to try other methods. I found g and a fantastic at taking the edge off the pain and taking me mentally to 'another place'. Also, remember that although it seemed scary that you were desperate to push at 5 cm, maybe this was a sign that you would have dilated the remaining 5 cm really quickly, but because you then had the epidural and other interventions, everything slowed right down. With dd1 I took ages to get to about 5/6 cm and then the remaining part of first stage was incredibly quick. So don't be frightened that you might be stuck there for hours wanting to push.
If you go for the midwife unit, hopefully you will labour with a midwife you know and trust. For me this was the single most important factor in giving birth to dd1. Honestly more important than the gas and air, and dare I say it, dh. (he was fabulous btw, but my midwife gave me so much confidence by believeing in me that I could give birth naturally. The fact that you are posting is really positive, because you clearly have the desire to try for a less medicalised birth. Tell yourself every day between now and the birth-day that your body is amazing and can do it!!

micegg - I too had an epidural for the first birth, and am aiming for a MW led birth this time (at the MW led unit at Kingston hospital - is this where you are going?). You have asked many of the questions I have been wondering about and am even thinking of looking into hypnobirthing.

xx

Yes. I am at Kingston. Due April 4th. Had DD at Georges. I had a good birth but did feel rushed into the epidural. Certainly wasnt offered anything else or given any suggestins on how to get through the contractions.

hiya,you are probably a little more anxious this time,considering events of first birth and now you know exactly what the pain is like.
make a birth plan and let your dh know what you want.
definately go to the mwled unit if you can,go and visit them before hand and let them know of your fears,they will reassure you that you are in safe hands.
if you need to push before fully dilated,try changing position, the mw will let you know whats best.
i would thoroughly recommend a water birth for relaxation,wish i had had it with all of mine,but only discovered it with my fourth.
try to keep an open mind,anyone on here will tell you that no two births are the same,so chances are you are going to have a completely different experience this time. also 2nd time births are usually a lot easier and quicker than first time births.my first was a traumatic event with intervention and procedures,baby born then had to be vented etc..but my 2nd was a piece of cake, just popped out with gas n air...so you just never know what might happen.

micegg - I'm due 4th April too!!

See you there (synchronised breathing)!

How funny! We'll be fighting it out over the birthing pools . Is this your first? If not,have you a baby there before? I am very nervous as I was at St Georges with DD and although a bit shabby I liked it overall.

micegg,

I had an induction with my first birth and found hypnobirthing to be the most helpful thing. It made a very medical birth awesome. I made it through with no epidural, and pretty much slept through both labor and pushing.

My second birth was totally natural and again a wonderful experience. I don't know anyone who has done hypnobirthing that hasn't found it to be extremely helpful.

I hope you'll be like me -my first birth was incredibly medicalised, ending in a C/S after 13 hours of terrifying uncoordinated contractions and 7 hrs with and epi . I stayed at home for number 2, and right from the word go I thought ooh - this is nowhere near as bad as last time and it genuinely wasn't, so that helped me stay relaxed and in control which meant I coped so well i shocked myself! Yes, contractions do get stronger -but i found that the pain didn't really apart from transition when I would have happily taken up the offer if someone had said they'd shoot me- but that didn't last long and i got back to surfing the waves pretty quick when my doula said to me, don't panic, this is transition - every contraction is bringing your baby closer - That was so inspiring i forgot to be hacked off with it all and got my focus back -DS2 was born 20 minutes later!
Lisa x