Did anyone else not push when giving birth?

[jenny74]

I could not and would not push, all i could do was deal with the pain, I only managed to push once DD was crowning, and my body took over. HV called it gentle birthing, or baby does its own pot holeing!!!!

I was told not to push as midwife could feel a lip of cervix still over his head, she was prodding around on and off for about half an hour before she realised it was actually his wrinkly little skull! She then told me to push - I started on the floor but was too weak after being awake for 30-something hours. Ended up with the end of the hospital bed wound up and me clinging on to it facing the wall pushing like mad. Pushing didn't feel natural to me, I had to rely on the midwife telling me to push and she kept telling me to push for longer, even though I was at the end of my endurance. Ended up pushing for 1 and 3/4 hours, 2nd degree tear and a little conehead boy (without ventouse or forceps). Am a bit to hear that I may not have had to push . All in all I found it a horrible experience and I came out of it wondering why anyone would put themselves through that again for more children!

To be fair to the midwife I was feeling the urge unbelievably to push and she was only telling me not to push because I was on the wrong bed and everytime I got a contraction all I wanted to do was push.Then, when I was on the proper delivery bed she told me to push as she was ready (!!). I know some women find it hard to push but it came naturally to me and I didn't have any trouble. I probably only pushed for a few mintues right at the end and ds popped out. I did tear though!

After 5 full days of labouring at home, (yep, you did read that correctly !) went into hospital where they broke my waters. That was about 09.00. Had the epidural (infact, had quite a few epidurals!) and baby was born at 04.00 (am) the next day ! I didn't really feel the pushing bit, but just remember going through it twice (didn't hurt because of the lovely epidural) and then I remember a consultant turning up saying at 3.30am and saying to me, you have 10 minutes to get this baby out, or you're going to theatre. Something kicked in internally - which resulted in me saying to him "Am I f&*ck !" Baby was born 8 minutes later ! Although he did have to help me quite alot, and the midwife did have to tell me when to push (again). In the end, had a forceps, ventouse and an episiotemy. And it took them an hour and a half to stitch me up. (Lost 750ml of blood) Left the hospital 30 hours later, then got a call in the afternoon, to say, they shouldn't have discharged me, and to get myself to either A&E or my Doctor's straight away !!! Apparently due to the blood loss, my iron levels had dropped significantly (I'm not a medical person, so I'm not sure of the exact numbers, but I think your iron count is meant to be about 11, mine was 3 !!!) Still, as horrible as it was (actually, one I'd had the epidural, it was fine !) still wouldn't put me off doing it again ! (Not sure how keen dp is on that front !!!)

I liked this part as well...

Same as many, I couldn't NOT push, once the urge came, but I tried to hide it from the midwife, student midwife and husband . Sort of a primal urge to go and birth in secret the way dogs do!!

Once they rumbled me tho (squirmingon the bed with buttocks clenched) I started pushing. Was on all fours but he DS wasn't budging so moved onto back/sitting position and he shot out.. literally!! Student midwife spotted it happening whilst the midwife was getting some jab or another ready .

Only 5 hours previously I was convinced I was going home too

Interesting that you don't need to push I felt no desire to push with DS1 in fact it felt really unnatural to push and in the end I tore I felt like my body was doing a good enough job pushing DS1 out for me but the midwifes kept shouting at me to push. Next time I think I'll go with what my body is telling me.

I didn't push at all with DD2. In fact I felt that if I pushed she would come too quickly and probably tear me to shreds.

Was an amazing feeling, there was no stopping her, I just sort of let go and 'wailed' her out. Nice midwife was telling me to push but I could tell there was no need. Still blardly painful but I did kind of enjoy the birth.

Also got the 'rest and be thankful' which was very welcome and really did allow me to get my breath back, focus and gather myself.

Didn't have any pain relief and recovery was pretty quick.

Pushed with ds1 - even though midwife said it was too early - but had dialated from 4cm to 10cm in 3hrs...and body took over. Unfortunately I listened to a 'girl power' type midwife during ante-natal classes and didn't have painkillers or allow anyone to 'cut' me. This resulted in a dislocated coccyx and 3 different direction tears.
Tears weren't stitched properly and it wasn't until 4 weeks post birth did I have the guts to see the dmg myself and spot the 1" open wound that my midwife was totally oblivious to. She was also oblivious to my dislocated all moving and all clicking coccyx....which she made me wait 4.5months before referring me to a DR. (over 18month recovery period after having natural birth)

Birth no:2 - DD - elective c-section as advised, due to previous damage. DD decided she didn't want to wait until my appointment, so ended up going full labour before they could fit me in to Theatre. Almost started pushing, didn't want to but had that overwhelming urge....which is quite difficult during 2min contractions and someone trying to stick a needle in your spine for epidural.
Once that needle went in.....it was absolutely amazing. No pain. DD was eased out infront of hubby, then passed straight to me. Even though she weighed less than my son, her head was bigger by just over 1" - so was glad I had opted for c-section.
(6 weeks recovery - a walk in the park!!!)

Currently 27 weeks pregnant....have a guess which one I am going to opt for

Epidural and directed pushing on DD1 - no problems, but not very pleasant. Home water birth, hypnobirthing breathing, no pushing on DD2, but second stage was at least an hour whilst I waited for the contractions to push her out.

Second birth was better, though she did have marks on her face from being being in the pelvis for so long and needed some osteopathy to correct a slightly squashed palate.

So, provided all is well with next birth, I think I'll aim for something in between the two.

With DD1, I was exhausted, had no urge to push at all, so when I was told to I tried but was obvously using al lthe wrong muscles. After hours of that, I just resorted to making all the right noises and facial contortions - distinctly remember asking midwife, even if I don't push, will the baby still come out eventually? (It did eventually, with the help of an episiotomy and a ventouse, and turned out to be enormous with a big head, so I felt justified in not having been able to succeed with my attempts to push).
DS2 - much better, no urge to push at all, but seemed to get it right this time. Think I was determined to get it over quickly knowing the reality of what happens if you don't!

I'm a retired midwife and I too am so sad that mums are still being instructed how/when to push. If baby is in a good position and contractions are efficient, with mum upright/on side/leaning forward to keep the pelvis open, pushing should just be natural - like when you poo and it comes on its own (unless you're constipated!). The best midwives keep quiet, and empower mums by giving privacy and peace and quiet. It's pointless telling mums not to push, when their bodies are doing it for them. Also potentially damaging to tell them to push when they have no urge to - straining the pelvic floor, & leaving mums with incontinence of urine. (Could you poo when you don't want to??)

Doulas or a female companion are also invaluable. Then labour and birth - and also breastfeeding - can be much better. See anything by Dr Michel Odent on this topic. And watch (discreetly) your dogs and cats give birth!

daisybaby i wish you were my mid wife.

Haven't read the whole thread, but I HAD to push, if not I think she'd still be there... she was a big baby and came out with her hand by her face (first baby too). Three and a half hours of pushing... Hard work yes but I'm glad I avoided intervention (home birth - in hospital I don't think I'd have been "allowed" to push that long).

I definitely had an urge to push, by the way. My contractions weakened to almost nothing in second stage. I was determined to push her out unaided, iyswim.

After 9-10 hours of contractions with DS1 i had to be told to push (only on gas & air and had Pethidine very early). Thought ok i can do this, but looking back think they left me too long push (with very little effect) as nearly 2 hrs later i had forceps and lots of stitches - oooch! Have no recollection of needing/wanting to push, but got him out all the same.
DD two years later was different storey, after 2-3 hrs of mild contractions dd was born within 10 mins of getting to hospital! Yikes. I was bit surprised when mw asked if i needed to push - it hadn't occured to me, but when she examined me she said she could see the colour of babies hair... needless to say that was excellent news for me... three very controlled and effective pushes later (thanks to great mw guidance) dd was out... bliss and very few stitches (along old scar)