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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Did anyone else not push when giving birth?

89 replies

jenny74 · 13/10/2007 21:50

I could not and would not push, all i could do was deal with the pain, I only managed to push once DD was crowning, and my body took over. HV called it gentle birthing, or baby does its own pot holeing!!!!

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WeeWitchyWilkie · 16/10/2007 13:59

I had epidural and they don't LET you push for two hours once you have dilated fully to allow the baby to come down naturally cos you tire more quickly with an epidural as you don't get the URGE to push.

Once they said push it was probably 4 pushes and took 18 mins.

Habbibu · 16/10/2007 15:39

Klaw - I really planned to be upright or on all fours, but when it came down to it my legs turned to jelly, and I shook so much that the only way I could manage was on my back - was quite disappointed, as I'd banged on for ages about gravity, and how ridiculous it was to give birth on your back, blah blah. Pushed for almost 2 hours in the end, but didn't tear too badly at all (and baby was 10lb 11oz, so I was quite chuffed in the end). Anyone know how to overcome jelly legs in labour??!!

RGPargy · 16/10/2007 16:04

Oooo i'm hoping to be on all fours in my birthing pool!

spookybatoscar · 16/10/2007 16:04

2nd stage of labour I had 1 contraction every minute, each lasted a minute and I could push 3 times on each contraction (hardest hour I've EVER done )

DS (as she turned out to be) must have been enjoying it as I pushed 3 times and he'd go back 2

Habbibu · 16/10/2007 16:06

Maybe in the pool it would be easier, as the water will support you a bit. Maybe I also have crap muscles!

mrsmerton · 16/10/2007 17:26

Pushing's the best bit. Actually felt like I was doing something, rather than things happening out of my control. I felt all 'She-ra' and primeval!

Habbibu · 16/10/2007 17:35

"She-Ra" - oh, I do hope you were dressed for the part! That would have been fantastic

Twitsthatgobumpinthenight · 16/10/2007 20:58

If by pushing you mean gritting your teeth and straining on purpose then no, no, no and no. I did find that once I woke up again my body would 'ease' the babies out with contractions on its own. In fact I was conciously trying not to push and slow things down to no avail, my body wanted them out so out they came.

Chipstick · 16/10/2007 22:45

As said previously I almost couldn't stop myself from pushing - it was so difficult not to when the midwife asked me to 'pant' - to me it was the most enjoyable (I use that term loosely!!) part.

morocco · 16/10/2007 22:52

not pushing on purpose,no, but my body was certainly pushing for me on my third birth (hbac). it was the most amazing experience, absolutely involuntary deep breathing/pushing. i wouldn't describe it as breathing the baby out though, more 'violent' than that. i don't know, does that count as pushing or not?

Klaw · 16/10/2007 22:56

Habbibu, as other posters have said, you don't have to be upright, for some it works on their back, but having read what I've read it is most logical to me that your back needs to be free so that your pelvis can open fully to allow baby out, making birth so much easier. Check out Jean Sutton's article here for explanations

If you're legs were jelly, it would have been better if your partner held you in a supported squat so that you could still have benefit of upright position. This is something I suggest women and their partners try before labour so that they are confident and secure in what's comfortable for them.

You did what you had to do in the circumstances. You did well!!

Habbibu · 16/10/2007 23:01

Yes, and I knew I was having a big baby (didn't know how big, mind), so had looked into shoulder dystocia, etc, and planned on being on hands and knees. Managed this for a while, but just wobbled into a heap!

That said, birth was magic - our lovely lovely consultant was there, just by chance, and stayed for the whole thing, mw was lovely - whole thing was bloody painful but just just wonderful as soon as the pain stopped!

Will still think about it if I manage to have another one - perhaps should work on muscle strength in the meantime! Thanks for info.

soremummy · 17/10/2007 09:52

My dd just fell out!! I had 2 contractions one before my waters went, shouted to dh ring midwife , shouted again dont bother this baby is coming now his reply was.........just calm down!!!!! by the time he turned around her head had pushed my knickers down and he just caught the rest of her within seconds the placenta followed. All this was in the space of 4 mins think i was in shock for a few hours and now even 5mths on i keep having to ask hubbie what happened then, how long for rapid response, how long did ambulance take, what time do u think she was born, why did the woman at ambulance services ask was i comfy, being squat half naked on the floor, and ask if we could see the head, despite me shouting the f...in baby is here!! its just come out. this was my surprise baby after a13 yr gap and was definately gonna make a differnce to us in any way she could.

walkingwomb · 17/10/2007 13:43

I am enthralled by this thread. I am 11 weeks with my first and am fascinated by the whole birth thing. Klaw - I like those links you sent. I wish Gloria Lemay could be at my birth.

beakysmum · 17/10/2007 18:45

dc2 just slid out for me too.

I had thought this was because her head was 3.5cm smaller than dc1 (who caused a lot of damage on the way out), but reading this thread makes me think maybe there was more to it than that!

nzmummyinblighty · 17/10/2007 19:39

My labour with DD was almost everything i wanted it to be. I had wanted to be in an upright position for the whole labour and the delivery. I was on my knees at the side of the bed from 7-10cm (about 3 hours). When I got the first strong urges to push, the MW checked me and said to pant as i still had a small lip of cervix. After about 30 mins of 'pushing' my knees and legs had got cramp and i couldn't hold myself up any longer so MW suggested i got onto the bed. It then took 2.5 hours of 'pushing' and an episiotomy (due to key-holing) to get DD out. My body seemed to take over. The contractions changed to waves of massive pressure and i couldn't help but push. I don't remember being told to push. I felt that being on my back did not help me. I had tried resting over the back of the bed but my legs were just too weak. We had also tried sitting on the toilet.
I'm 14 weeks pregnant with #2 and am hoping the second stage of the labour will be quicker - hopefully i will have one that will just slip out!!

harrisey · 17/10/2007 19:43

I couldn't push dd1 (first baby) hard enough for anyone as she was posterior, and after 35 hours in labour I was very tired, and had NO urge at all to push.

Had small tear with the ventouse. She was huge (9lb12) and I was very lucky to have such a little amount of stiticching. Did push (in fact, a mw said 'stop pushing' at one point - WHAT????? I couldt NOT push!) and I had 2nd degree with ds (9lb3) and 3rd degree with fast delivery of dd2 (7lb13 at 3 weeks early).

No piles till ds either!

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 17/10/2007 19:45

yep, with ds3 my body did it all alone- no prbs

wasfab

DS1 and ds2 didnt push much TBH, have no memories of big ahrd pushing at all

Psychobabble · 17/10/2007 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manicbotanic · 18/10/2007 15:07

With my ds 9 yrs ago I pushed for hours in hosp on my back doing what I was told.
With my dd 5mths ago I stayed at home, no pushing, no midwife, dh caught her as she came out, the most wonderful experience with very little pain. I trusted my body to do what it's made for! Other mammals don't spend hours shouting and swearing so why should we?
Also recovered very quickly, within 2 days walked a couple of miles and could happily drive the car.

jumbly · 18/10/2007 19:45

I laboured mostly at home, and the back of the car, and did push, but wasn't really sure what the heck was going on at the time, as I was still thinking it must be early labour (it was my first child so I didn't really have anything to go on, and there was no midwife around.... ) ended up delivering, all fit and well, within about four hours from start to finish. I just did what my body seemed to be demanding I did. Terrifying in retrospect (and,er, come to think of it, not entirely lacking in terror at the time ;-)...

Kewcumber · 18/10/2007 19:49

I didn't. But not sure whether you would count adoption as giving birth (in teh not actually giving birth meaning of the phrase)

pwcbird · 18/10/2007 20:14

After nearly a 36 hour labour, the midwife (having left my husband and I on our own for hours at a time due to having '4 women to deal with)not having me on a delivery bed and the next bed I had to 'roll over' onto was broken until finally the 3rd bed was ok.. all the time being told 'DON'T PUSH' and me shouting 'the baby's coming!!' finally when she told me to push I pushed for England and pushed and pushed because I just wanted the pain and the ordeal over and I pushed with every ounce in my body and my husband told me afterwards I was purple with pushing and then my 8lb 11oz son came out and it was the most wonderful wonderful thing!

daisybaby · 18/10/2007 21:33

As an experienced midwife, and mother of two, i find it incredibly sad to hear of midwives instructing mothers to push. We of all people should have faith in a woman's body to be able to birth the baby it has taken 9 months to nurture and grow. Some women will feel and unbelievable urge to push, others will not, and many will find that contractions do ease of for a period of time as they enter 2nd stage. All of these scenarios are normal. Women - have faith in yourselves. You are designed to do this!

biggernow · 18/10/2007 22:56

I pushed 2 hard and sadly got a third degree tear-
they didn't tell me to slow down at end and my bub came out so fast so be careful! Am healing and am ok, but it was very unpleasant.

Take it easy girls. x

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