Feeling really scared now - don't know what to do

[mandler]

I am 39 weeks pg today and the last few weeks have turned evrything on its head for me. This is my first baby and we have already had 20 week anomaly diagnosed (talipes) and follow up scans.
We thought all as fine again until 3 weeks ago when baby's heartrate went up to 240pbm, more tests, scans, consults. I was put on a drug called flecainide and since then the heartrate has been regular again with no damage done to his heart.
It was decided by consultant that I should be induced around my due date to avoid any more incidences but that baby would be monitored constantly throughout.
So I come to terms with that then last night my blood pressure went up to 140/90. More time in hospital being monitored - no other obvious symptoms, blood tests fine but being monitored again over the next few days.
Sorry for the long post! But I am now so scared about next week and induction (he is showing no signs of arriving before then!) - and about stress to the baby, about my bp, about interventions....
I am starting to wonder if I should just ask for an elective caesarean as I am not sure if I (or DH) can take much more stress with this lo.
Please any advice from midwives, doulas, people who have had similar experiences - I feel so out of my depth and feel that I have no control over any of this any more

Anyone - please??

I can only offer you my opinion as someone who was offered the choice of a vb or an elective for my 2nd. I suppose it depends on what they've said the risks are to you and the baby. Do the drugs guarantee that his bp won't go up/down during labour? What sort of labour have they promised you in terms of staff, pain relief etc? If it's pretty positive then a vb still looks good.

If it's a case of them telling you play it by ear, I'd be tempted to go for an elective. The reason why I say this is if you've got the consultant team involved in the delivery you are more likely to have an interventionist delivery/ more chance of an emergency c-section. I think going through the labouring process followed by an emergency cs is very tiring/emotional.

Also, what have they said about the talipes? My ds had talipes but it self corrected with exercises and good choice of footwear, but with severe talipes early intervention in the first few weeks is important.

ok

take a deep breath

and breathe out

and sit down

now, you are anxious for many reasons:

first baby so fear of the unknown

talipes and heart rate issue

your BP going up ( possibly stress related if no other symptoms)

feeling scared and stressed whihc makes you feel more stressed , higher bp, etc

this is my advice:

take a long warm bath tonight

light candles, burn some lavendar oil if you have any or rose

and talk to your baby

allow your mind to empty and then imagine and visualise the birth you want

birth is not an exact science, there is a lot you don;t have control over, but if you are being induced there are things you can do and request to make it as smooth as possible

firstly, request a sweep,if your cervix is not ripe enough to sweep, induciton will be a long drawn out process. if you are ripe enough, a sweep might be enough to get things going

if you are induced, make sure you are upright, mobile, active and able to move, as this helps get baby down onto the cervix and makes things happen quicker

believe in your body

have faith in it

go to the library and read some inspiring books about birth , you still have time...

take back some power and help yourself feel good about meeting this baby

Thanks Heated.
The drugs don't offer any guarantees unfortunately - they may or may not be responsible for the regulating of the heartbeat and there is no way of knowing until he is born. So nobody can say for sure if labour will bring on the arrhythmia again.
I haven't been talked through the option of an elec cs, but will be going in for an internal exam and sweep next Tuesday so I was planning on getting more info then on options. My DH is keen to trust the docs and do as they say but the lack of control is frightening.
Re talipes we have lined up the ponseti method of treatment with a really good team, so that - we hope - is sorted!

BTW< that is my non medical doula opinion

obviously you must do what feels right for you

And lulmama - your words were probably just what I needed to hear (had a little blub too!)

have a virtual hug, babe

if you live in the merseyside area, i can do house calls !

bless you , it is such a funny time before first baby arrives.

i was induced with DS , my first, and the night before i was due to go in, i sat in the nursery, looking at the cot, and the blankets, sleep suits and scratch mitts, all pristine and lovely, and my big belly.. and just could not get my head round that there would actually be a baby coming home with us.

it took me until i was in the delivery room, looking at the little plastic crib that it hit home, after 9 months, i was going to be someone;s mother.

i would happily have gone home, and got someone else to do it after that

have a good cry, tis good for the soul

Aw thanks, wish I did live nearby! Everyone I know who has recently had/is currently having babies have had these wonderful carefree experiences (seemingly) so it is so hard to find anyone to talk to. And my mum has erased all memories of her three births!
It is so obvious you have been a godsend to so many people on this site, thanks
x

no worries, we are all here for you

just spilling it all out is a big help

it is absolutely ok to be scared!

now go and have your bath and relaaaaaaaaaaax!

Off to get my blood pressure checked again - fingers crossed it has fixed itself and I can strike that off my list!

let us know how you get on x

am hoping the silence means baby day has arrived....