To ask for a C Section due to covid partner restrictions

[Hfarm1]

My baby is due in two weeks and, due to a slow down in growth, they want to induce me. I am absolutely terrified of being induced and my husband not being there to support me through those early labour pains because of COVID restrictions. I haven't slept in days due to worrying and I've cried so much on occasions I've actually made myself sick. It sounds ridiculous but I just can't help it, I've even considered asking for extra monitoring and scans instead but the worry for baby is then there. How can we be expected to go through it alone? Am I right to ask for a c section as it's got me in such a state? I'm making myself ill with the stress, it's at the front of every thought I have. Please only sympathetic answers, no matter what anyone says I don't want to have to go through early labour alone, I know it can take days to get going with induction. Would you ask for a c section if you were in my position?

What are the restrictions on your trust area for C-sections? You may want to consider that you may be left alone prior to the Op, possibly for hours, causing you just as much worry and stress than if you’d elected to try for a labour.

Have you raised your worry with your midwife? Not just in a vague way, but being completely open about being ill with the stress and worry of it all - they then may be able to refer you for counselling to address the root of your panic.

I'm not an expert but couldn't see this and run.

It's a horrible situation, I'm only 15 weeks but I do wonder what the restrictions will be in March and I worry about the impact of not having my husband around will be.

Are your trust allowing partners in active labour? I think most are. Do you live far from the hospital? Hopefully if your partner is allowed during active labour they won't miss everything, but appreciate there will be time when they're not there.

I don't think you're being unreasonable for wanting to request an c-section, but I think you would be taking a lot of resources away from those who actually need it (emergencies etc). I would personally feel uncomfortable.

You also need to consider that if you are allowed an elective c-section the hospital might cancel it if they suddenly need to do emergency c-sections, which might cause you more stress.

I'm sure I'll get a lot of stick for this, but that's my view. Consider how you would feel if an elective c-section was postponed, and / or if resources were elsewhere (ie doing other elective sections) in your hour of need.

This is an awful situation, and I'm gutted so many of us are having to go through it

Are you sure about the current position re partners? Perhaps it will change? Defo speak to the midwife. No point in making yourself ill.

Worth asking about the induction process. They might ask you in to start but then let you home till something happens I have had friend that have gone home till it gets going so definitely worth asking those questions. Hope it's ok understand the fear

Won't a c section mean you'll be without your partner more?
Would he be allowed in theatre?
You'd probably have to stay in hospital longer.
Recovering from major abdominal surgery is a long slog.
I had a key hole hysterectomy last
Year and I'm still recovering, a c section is much more invasive and you'll have a baby you'll want to pick up and cuddle but won't be able to.

Giving birth is scary the first time I get that. You don't know what to expect and you want support.
I was induced for both my births , one was early and one was late.
Induction it's self isn't bad or painful, they squirt some gel inside you and you wait for labour to start. First time I was a bit sick but they have me some meds for that and it was fine.
The last induction went quickly and I didn't need any other drugs or help.
The early was a bit harder as baby wasn't ready so the gel alone wasn't enough and they had to break my waters, that was uncomfortable.

Labour itself is different for everyone but you cope because you have to and it's worth it.

Please speak to your midwife about you anxiety, talk it through.

Google and research are probably your enemy here.

Both my inductions were same day births.

I was induced and my husband was there for all of it, start to finish. He even came to the appointment the day before where they confirmed my waters had broken. So not all trusts are the same, have they actually told you he can't be there? Might be worth having a chat with your midwife.

Sending love, it's a difficult year to have a baby but you've got this.

Just to add I gave birth in June

If you have an induction and natural birth, you might get home the same day (if hospitals are still doing the accelerated discharge). I had a c section in April and had to stay in 5 nights - with a c section you will definitely be in at least 24 hours and you will need the support as the recovery is not easy, especially at the beginning. I also spent a few days on the antenatal ward before the section, along with many ladies who were in the middle of induction. None of us wanted to be alone but there was a strange community spirit where people chatted, sat with curtains open etc.
In your shoes I would go for the induction, assuming your DH can be there when you are in active labour. Good luck!

I'm sorry you are in this position OP. I'm due soonish and my concern would be the recovery from c section at a time when you will likely have less support if visiting times are restricted. For example in our trust partners were until recently only permitted for I think an hour or two of visiting time on postnatal which would be particularly hard after a c section as you are more likely to be in for longer and may not be able to lift baby etc yourself

Good luck - I'm worried about either induction or c section to be honest although the partner bit isn't such a concern to us as DH may need to be home to look after DC1 anyway, it's more the recovery bit and lack of support after birth I'm worried about

I'm really sorry it's causing you this anxiety. I had a baby in June, so I totally get the worry about giving birth in this environment.

I would just consider that with a C-section you are likely to be in hospital with your baby longer after birth. Our local hospital is currently allowing one visitor for one hour a day. That's an awful lot of time by yourself with your baby on the ward. I had my older DD by emergency C-section pre covid, and I honestly would have struggled on the ward all day without my husband as staff were too busy to always help with my baby. I couldn't really lift her or do much by myself.

The staff were even busier with my recent birth due to staff self isolating etc., but as I had a VBAC I was fortunately more able to do stuff myself. I was still very keen to get home to the support of my husband ASAP.

Also, not sure if it's your first baby but if so it's hard to know at the moment how you will feel. I assumed I would want my husband around for support, but in the end I just wanted to curl up in a ball by myself for early labour!

don't go for the creation as you will struggle so much after and actually end up in hospital longer without your partner and in alot of pain. Go for the induction and video call and hope you have a smooth labour and then get home quicker, being stuck in hospital and not being able to walk properly or drive for 6 weeks is a killer I definitely wouldn't do that by choice.

stupid phone. C-section not creation *

I'm so sorry you are in this position.
I just wanted to say that my post section recovery was long. I needed lots of support afterwards, both in hospital and at home.
Just think carefully as I couldn't bend to pick up my babies (twins) or even change them at first. I stayed in hospital for 2 days and needed DH for lots.

Good luck - I hope all goes well. Give that new baby plent of cuddles.

I really feel for you OP, it's a scary time. Just pre covid I was induced and sent home, my trust are doing the same during covid. It was nice at times to have DP there as a distraction but a lot of the time he kept asking how I was and putting my mind on it and annoying me so I ended up shutting myself away in our bedroom for a few hours

Please talk through your thoughts and fears with your midwife ASAP so you can get a better idea of how it will be in both scenarios

No YANBU your body your choice and you’re considering what you will find least traumatic and what will be right for you.

I think you need a balanced discussion about all your options including why they want to induce you and what the risks/benefits might be with waiting instead. Likelihood of induction ending in a c-section and so on. There’s a lot to think about and go over.

I noticed a PP said you'd definitely be in 24 hours after a C section. I don't think that's the case at the moment, they are aiming to get people home as soon as they can.

I know someone who left hospital 8 hours after baby was born via c section recently.

I was alone on a post natal ward for a week after a c-section, so it might not necessarily be the best choice. A vaginal birth might mean you'd be home the same day.

Firstly thank you all so much for your replies, I've seen other posts where women are telling people to basically man up and get on with it which is so not what we need to hear right now.

Weirdly, the thought of waiting around for days in hospital on my own if an elective c section is pushed back doesn't stress me out at all. My fear mainly comes from going through the pain of early labour alone or my husband missing the birth! You have raised some good points about struggling to cuddle and recovery after a c section though. I have gestational diabetes so they will make me stay for 24 hours anyway to get babies blood sugars done so no speedy exit for us however they come out :( They are however allowing postnatal visiting for 3-4 hours each day so that also helps afterwards.

At my trust they are only allowing partners in active labour. My midwife said to be pushy and say I will only be induced during visiting times so at least he's there for the kick off, but my consultant was horrible and just said they wouldn't let that happen, without giving me a reason why that wouldn't work. She also smiled and said 'You're young, you'll have a high pain threshold' which absolutely did not help.

I think a lot of my anxiety is a result of literally having nobody but my husband for support for the last 6 months. I've met no other mums with groups cancelled, haven't been able to see elderly parents and with friends in jobs thats meant I've not wanted to risk seeing them with baby on the way. So the thought of having my one support taken away is hitting harder I suppose.

A PP makes a really good suggestion about having a video call going the whole time so you still feel supported - how would you feel about that?

I get where you're coming from OP.

You don't have to consent to an induction and you can request an ELCS under the NICE guidance for maternal request. If your consultant won't agree then they are required to pass you on to a consultant who will.

Whilst those are the facts, reality can be a bit different and you may have to fight for that outcome.

With an induction it's useful to request your Bishop's Score before they begin. If it is above 5 the chances of going into labour are good, below 5 your chances of success are lower so you may want to have a plan for whether you choose to go ahead. Have a look at the RCOG website so you're prepared and can make a more informed decision about what you want. This will help when talking to HCPs.

I say this because it's what I wish I'd known before being induced with DC1 (result: 6 days failed induction and EMCS). In your shoes I'd choose ELCS - I was home after 24 hours with mine. But it's very personal and there's no way to predict outcomes.

I hope all goes well whatever course things take

This may all be moot - you have two weeks - baby may come on it's own!

Maternity wards are not nice relaxing places - you'll not want to be there for long.

Just to add I had an category 1 emergency c-section 16 days ago and we were discharged exactly 17 hours afterwards.

I won’t go into the details of why it ended up as a ECS but as soon as I was taken from recovery to post natal my husband was made to leave and he couldn’t come back until it was time for us to be discharged :(

It’s hard - not going to lie. The midwives are lacking because they have so many women to care for but not enough staff and it is painful.

You can request an elective C section, they shouldn’t deny it to you but may try and talk you out of it.

I was terrified of getting induced too but it ended up happening to me anyway and tbh, it was fine. I was previously nervous and wanted a ELCS but now I’m very glad that didn’t happen. I’d like to request an induction this time, but dunno if they’ll let me....

Absolutely understand the need to have your partner there. Could he standby in the grounds of the hospital nearby perhaps? Like in the car park with plenty of snacks and entertainment? That way when active labour starts you just give him a call and he’ll be straight there. I did chat to a couple when I was in last year and the guy was sleeping in their car.

How you doing OP?