Episiotomy

[lockdownpregnancy]

Hi ladies.
So I keep being told to do my birth plan so I've finally downloaded the template from the NHS website and started completing it.
I also keep being told not to bother as it all goes out the window anyway! 🤪🤪🤪
It mentions having an Episiotomy.
I just want to know that if I do give birth naturally whether I should consent to this.
I tear easily having a rough sex (apologies for the TMI) so I'm thinking of saying yes as I don't want my lady bits ruined with third degree tears etc.
Anyone had one? If so what it's like and what is recovery like afterwards?
I'm not seeing my MW for another couple of weeks so I'll talk to her then about it too, but just want anyone's take on it who have had it done.

TIA 🥰

What you want is up to you, but to be honest I wouldn't roll anything out unless you feel really strongly about it. If you say you want a natural birth, they'll go with this up until the point when it becomes dangerous to you or the baby not to.

I wanted a natural birth and ended up having an episiotomy and forceps birth in the end. At that point I just wanted them to do whatever they needed to to get him out.

So yes have a birth plan, but don't expect everything to actually happen according to that plan.

*rule - not roll!

I get the impression that if it looks like you are going to tear a controlled episiotomy is better and heals better. Mine wasn't too bad, healed OK, it didn't cause me much bother with sex (my sex life is pretty boring to be fair)

Episiotomy probably saved my baby’s life. The vast majority of first time vaginal births tear. A controlled cut means it goes it a favourable direction eg not into the anus.

Hi to be honest I'm my experience I wouldn't do a birth plan but maybe have a rough idea in your head of what you want but be prepared for things to change I had a baby 11 weeks ago and I wanted a water birth with just gas and air due to complications I had a very long labour with an epidural and an assisted delivery with an episiotomy witch resulted in stitches obviously.
You will probably get to the stage where you just don't care and want your baby out ASAP and as safely as possible I know I did. My stitches didn't fully heal until around 4 weeks PP but felt sore for about 5 or 6 weeks. But I know everyone is different. Good luck whatever you decide x

When I was in labour the midwife advised I had a small episiotomy as otherwise she felt I was going to tear badly, so I was happy to go along with it...

If you don't consent to episiotomy you are accepting you may tear uncontrollably and have life long continence issues as a result.
Say yes to the epi! It's not a big deal but a 3rd or 4th degree tear can be life changing.

Episiotomy is much better than a third degree tear that gives you 6 months of pain.

Yep yep yep mine worked a treat, she whooshed right out after 2 hours pushing as soon as they snipped me and it healed fine, also the numbing injection meant no ring of fire, win win!

I actually asked the midwife to do one off the bat for my second,she said “yeh, we don’t really do them in advance, this is your second so you probably don’t need one this time anyway” ... ended up having a rushed one as his head was trying to come out! Called it!

Ah thanks ladies! Most helpful!
I'll have a chat with MW regardless but clearly it's the safer option for baby if he needs a little more room to come out!
Thank you!! 🥰🥰

Having a cut or a tear was my biggest fear before giving birth. Ended up having an episiotomy and am glad I did as it meant no tear and just a couple of stitches to fix me up afterwards. It did take longer than I expected to heal, 6-8 weeks but after that it was perfect and I've had no issues! It's honestly not as scary as it sounds!

I had one. Was fine. Healed v quickly and woukdnt even know now! No trouble at all.

Off the point I know, but you really don't have to consent to rough sex. If you are tearing during sex then something is going wrong. Is this your current partner?

Can't help re episiotomy - I had a forceps delivery and third degree tear which I wouldn't recommend, so the advice above sounds good to me.

@Monstamio

Off the point I know, but you really don't have to consent to rough sex. If you are tearing during sex then something is going wrong. Is this your current partner?

Can't help re episiotomy - I had a forceps delivery and third degree tear which I wouldn't recommend, so the advice above sounds good to me.

God I totally agree with this. Do people really consent to sex so rough it causes injuries ? I would knock that on the head !!

I had one, was totally fine although I did hear it happen

Second time I tore along that line again and it was again fine, it all healed very well.

If I hadn't have agreed to the epi my baby would have been stuck; that's why I think 'plans' are all well and good but in the moment you have to be prepared to do what's necessary.

I had an episiotomy with my first and tore with my second.

My tear healed within a week vs 7 weeks with my episiotomy.

I appreciate that this is just my experience but I know which I'd take

ETA: they don't cut you for shits and giggles, if they're suggesting forceps or another form of assistance, it's for the right reasons and not just because they fancy it.

My birth plan for my second basically said."no epidural (IMO the reason I ended up needing an assisted delivery the first time), do whatever you need to help me deliver my baby safely, just. tell me before you do anything"

I had one with my first, I remember being horrified when the midwife mentioned it but it was by far the best option and it healed really well and I didn't feel a thing at the time as a local anaesthetic was given. Thinking about it now I really don't remember being sore down there too much after. I didn't tear at all with my second.
Good luck

@Babyroobs & @Monstamio I appreciate your concern but my DH doesn't hurt me. In fact he's a giant teddy bear! 🥰🥰
I'm referring to past experiences when both me and my ex partner liked a bit of rough and tumble!
It's never happened whilst I've been with DH but has happened in the past.
To be honest I think I just have tight skin and muscles. I've even had nurses 'comment' when I've been given a smear test! Highly inappropriate for comments like to be made in those situations but at the same appreciated how they well put together they thought I was! 😂😂😂

OP I had an episiotomy and the healing was fine stitches gone in 2 weeks. On another note I also get small tears during sex in certain positions before and it still happens now one year on since the birth. My daughter was only 5lb so must have a small opening sorry TMI.

You could look into perineal massage with oil. Don't know if it actually works or not but some women do it.

I always hear "they only do an episiotomy when they absolutely have to." Utter bollocks. They wanted to give me an episiotomy without my consent to speed things up. Luckily DH stood up for me. I gave birth shortly after with no tears or grazes, without an episiotomy.
Anecdotally, friends who had episiotomies had longer recovery times than friends with tears, and also often less serious tears than the incision would have been.
Definitely have a look at perineal massage.
You don't have to make up your mind either way until it comes to it and ask the midwife at the time what the benefits, risks, alternatives are, and what happens if you do nothing, and trust your intuition.

I have 3 kids. 2 born naturally, 1 section. I did not want to be cut. MW advised but I said no. I did not tear with either natural births. My kids were 7 lb 10 and 6 lb 12. I was glad I did not let MW talk me into it. If you are told you are having very large baby probably best to allow it though.

It's supposed to hurt less if you tear naturally x

It’s a difficult one if it’s needed then absolutely..... although I was prepped for an episiotomy I delivered my baby myself and had a second degree tear. I didn’t feel it at all happening and the recovery actually wasn’t too bad better than I thought and it healed really well too. To be honest I was more afraid of the scissors than tearing and probably pushed her out quicker out of fear when I saw what she was trying to do. Even though I agreed panic set in when I saw the scissors and she was trying to get room to cut i pushed as hard as I could. I can’t say what would have been better but in some circumstances an epi would be the right choice. For me I took the risk of tearing which I did over them cutting me. But I do wonder had they of left me just a few mins longer and allowed her to be born slower would I have avoided tearing.... il never know.