Third degree tear

R25678 · 2020-07-05T08:45:44+00:00

Hi, Anybody else out there suffered a third degree tear? It's been 2 weeks since I have birth and I'm feeling quite alone in dealing with this ☹️ I had a lovely water birth with gas & air at a midwife led birthing centre but our bubble was popped quickly when they transferred me by ambulance to the hospital to get stitches under spinal in theatre. It doesn't feel too bad at the moment, have been using witch hazel religiously, a peri bottle, Epsom salt baths etc. They gave me loads of laxatives when I left hospital but I've finished them now and I'm wondering whether to buy some more because I'm scared of doing a 'normal' poo in case it rips the stitches or something 🙈 I'm so nervous about whether things will be ever be normal again down there... I'd love to hear from anyone in a similar situation or who has already been through this? I joined a Facebook support group for birth tears and I had to leave after a couple of days because some of the stuff I was reading was giving me awful anxiety 😖

Bluebelltulip · 05/07/2020 09:48

My third degree tear healed well and my first normal poo was no where near as bad as I expected. The problem with those kind of groups is that people only tend to talk about it if there are problems so it skews the perception.

Original poster

R25678 · 05/07/2020 10:02

Yeah definitely some bias with groups like that. They all seemed to be horror stories 🙈 saying they were left with gaping holes etc. Not what I wanted to read right now! Literally made me panic.
Tbh I had a look down there and it looks fairly normal...
I think the psychological impact is difficult, I keep wishing that it didn't happen although I know there's nothing I can do about it now!

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ratticus4 · 05/07/2020 10:09

I had a third degree tear (although a later consultant said he would call it a fourth) with my first. Didn’t experience any problems but was advised to have a c-section with my second baby 18 months later to avoid making it worse. Didn’t like the experience of the c-section and so went to have vaginal births with babies 3 and 4. All big babies and no issues with my tear.

Practical advice would be to drink lots of water and I also was prescribed lactulose by the midwife which helped.

Easy to say but try not to worry and congratulations on your baby 🙂

pancakesunday · 05/07/2020 10:10

I had a third degree tear and like you say, the psychological aspect of dealing with that is difficult as it's quite traumatic but honestly mine healed up brilliantly and I've had no lasting impact physically. I could still see the scar where the stitches were on the outside but it's fading as time goes by. I've basically gone back to normal. I'm glad that I asked for lactulose for as long as I needed it straight after and I took every pain killer offered me as it helped a lot with my recovery.
I also made myself a seat out of two rolled up hand towels in the two weeks after to take the pressure off when I say down as that was probably the worst bit. I also tried to lie flat where possible so I wasn't putting pressure on the stitches

Redwinestillfine · 05/07/2020 10:14

I had a third degree. It was ok op. Don't put off the poo. It'll be fine. Just rest up. I was able to have a water birth for my second and did tear a bit but nowhere near as bad ( just a second degree) and didn't even notice after they stitched me up.

Oldestchild90s · 05/07/2020 10:24

Oh no, just the thread i hate to see 😭 i have no advice for you, but i'm 34 weeks pregnant and i'm very worried about tearing, i'd say it's my biggest fear of them all! Hope you are all healed and better soon op 🤞🏻

Original poster

R25678 · 05/07/2020 10:55

@Oldestchild90s

Oh no, just the thread i hate to see 😭 i have no advice for you, but i'm 34 weeks pregnant and i'm very worried about tearing, i'd say it's my biggest fear of them all! Hope you are all healed and better soon op 🤞🏻

It was one of my fears too tbh! It's my second baby and with my first I had an episiotomy so I thought it might mean I was more likely to tear. Actually the surgeon said it was not related and it's just one of those things that happens. You can't control everything that happens during both unfortunately! Try not to worry, most tears are minor and I'm sure you'll be fine!

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Herewegoagainx4 · 05/07/2020 11:10

I had a bad third degree with my 2nd in 2017. He was 10lb 5 oz, shot out rather quickly and used his hands to pull himself out whilst he was at it (I wouldn't have minded so much about his quick appearance had I not been waiting for his arrival at 2 weeks overdue little monkey!)

Do use a clean breast pad and press it up against the stitches when going for a poo, it really helped me feel like I was holding it together at least! And it was easier to go. It will get better with time. I was distraught initially and didn't know anyone else who had had that happen. And I was so worried
about long term incontinence but everything improved over time. I still can't hold on as long as I used to be able to when I need the loo but to be honest now I have had 3 children I think that is to be expected.
Try and keep mobile if you can, that does help and do keep up with your pelvic floor exercises. The NHS have an app called the Squeezy App which helps to remind when to do it and that you are doing them for the right amount of time.

I had a check at 12 weeks post partum to see how things were with a consultant and specialist women's physio and was told then it was healing well. The consultant gave me some numbing gel to use for having sex as I was finding it painful. That improved over time.

I had my 3rd just over a year ago and declined a c-section as I decided the risk of re tearing was small overall. The MW was fantastic and made sure to press on my perinueum as baby was crowning and I didn't re tear, and only had one small tear which they didn't even stitch in the end. She was smaller at 8lb 6 but was induced at 38 weeks because if left later she would have been too big and I had GD.

Hang in there, it will get better, sorry it's been tough. Hope you can still enjoy those baby snuggles lots

Original poster

R25678 · 05/07/2020 11:30

Thank you all. I can't even tell you how reassuring it is to hear some positive recovery stories.
I was told my tear was a 3a which is apparently on the less severe end of the scale so hopefully it will all heal up okay 🤞🏼
And eventually I won't feel so down about it. I hope the whole COVID situation won't affect my follow up care. The MW said the follow up for third degree tears is really good. At the moment I just feel a bit alone in it all.
The surgeon mentioned that there were options if I ever wanted another pregnancy...think that's the last thing on my mind right now though 😂

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MinnieMousse · 05/07/2020 11:35

I had a 3c, so the most severe of the third degree category. I only took laxatives for the first couple of weeks and it was ok after that. I agree with holding a clean pad or something over it the first time you go though. Mine healed really well and I've had no ongoing problems. I had good follow-ups with a continence midwife. It is very important to start doing pelvic floor exercises as soon as possible.

I got the tear with my second birth. My first was an EMCS and even though I had a good recovery from that, honestly the recovery from the tear was quicker and I felt able to get about normally much sooner (even though I had A LOT of stitches!).

Original poster

R25678 · 05/07/2020 11:58

@MinnieMousse

I had a 3c, so the most severe of the third degree category. I only took laxatives for the first couple of weeks and it was ok after that. I agree with holding a clean pad or something over it the first time you go though. Mine healed really well and I've had no ongoing problems. I had good follow-ups with a continence midwife. It is very important to start doing pelvic floor exercises as soon as possible.

I got the tear with my second birth. My first was an EMCS and even though I had a good recovery from that, honestly the recovery from the tear was quicker and I felt able to get about normally much sooner (even though I had A LOT of stitches!).

Really, I was in the hospital and they put me in the c section recovery room for some reason but there was a lady there who had had a c section just before I had my stitches done. All I was thinking was that she seemed to be up and moving around and not in pain whereas I was literally sobbing in pain, taking tramadol and not able to walk yet. At the time I was honestly wishing that I'd had a c section instead 😂 but obviously the recovery from that is not easy either.

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CodenameVillanelle · 05/07/2020 12:01

I had a third degree tear and had to be sewn up in theatre.
I healed really well and by the time I had run out of diclofenac I wasn't in any pain. The only problem I had was anal fissures which I ignored out of embarrassment for several months. It was very silly of me because when I went to the GP I got some more lactulose and some cream and it went away. I am more prone to them now than I used to be but as long as I keep my diet healthy so I poo daily they don't trouble me.

MinnieMousse · 05/07/2020 12:43

To be fair, when I had mine they gave me the same painkillers I'd had when I had the C-section!

Original poster

R25678 · 05/07/2020 12:58

How long did you all wait until you started picking things up again e.g. the baby in the car seat? And also how long until you felt able to drive? I read that you should try not to pick up anything heavy for a while. My husband is back in work tomorrow so it's going to be a bit harder on my own with a baby and 4 year old.
My MW said to listen to my body and go with that. It's hard to know because a few days ago I felt fine and went for a long-ish walk but did feel sore after and my bleeding started to come heavy again so MW said I'd probably overdone it.
I'm so keen to get back to normal a bit more but don't want to push it

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Cazzy198 · 05/07/2020 19:39

I am 4 weeks post partum and have a fourth degree tear. I was devastated when I was whipped straight into surgery and upset that it wasnt the birth and meeting of my son I had planned or expected. I couldnt see an end in sight to the pain to begin with and felt so useless in looking after my son as I found it difficult to sit down and needed a huge amount of help from the midwives and my husband.

Fast forward 4 weeks and I am surprised at how quickly mine seemed to heal and I'm almost back to normal. I stopped taking lactulose after 2 weeks and can now poo without any pain. I make sure I drink lots of water and eat veggies and take my sweet time on the loo.

For the first time yesterday, I forgot I even had a tear when I went to the loo.

I know it's really hard to do but try not to become too reliant on stool softeners etc. The first week after my tear i was so anxious about going to the loo that i started to suffer the worst headaches i have ever felt. It felt like my head was going to explode. After talking to a midwife, I realised that I was building up anxiety when I felt the need to go and holding my breath without meaning to and tensing up. This was causing the headaches. Once I became aware of this I started focusing on breathing and relaxing and the headaches vanished.

Give yourself loads of rest too. It doesnt matter if you spend the whole day on the sofa watching Netflix and dont get housework done. You need to heal and to do that you need rest.

I am also quite religious in doing my pelvic floor and believe this helped with my recovery too.

SummerHouse · 05/07/2020 19:48

I had a third degree. I remember learning about it in child development and thinking it was the worst thing imaginable.

Reality was it healed no problem and wasn't really painful after a couple of weeks. Plenty of rest and lots of air.

Jsh125 · 09/07/2020 17:14

I had a 3b tear after my little boy and everything healed perfectly. I've been left with no lasting damage or issues at all. I've since had another baby & a subsequent 2nd degree tear but again all good .

Fingers crossed you'll have no issues and it'll all heal perfectly. Definitely get back to pelvic floor exercises when you're able to or have been given the ok to, they really do help recovery.

girlmumoftwo · 21/03/2021 08:10

Hey there! I gave birth 6 weeks ago and ended up with an episiotomy and 3a tear. Not sure if you’ll reply but how are you feeling now? I’m struggling to see light at the end of the tunnel. Still in pain and feel heavy.

justsotiredallthetime · 21/03/2021 08:17

I had an episiotomy. I won't lie, the first few weeks were hard. I couldn't sit or move easily. Going to the toilet was tricky. In hindsight, I should have had a bath and used laxatives earlier (I wasn't breast feeding) But it healed nicely in the end.

SnooperTrooper12345 · 21/03/2021 10:11

@girlmumoftwo

Hey there! I gave birth 6 weeks ago and ended up with an episiotomy and 3a tear. Not sure if you’ll reply but how are you feeling now? I’m struggling to see light at the end of the tunnel. Still in pain and feel heavy.

I had a 3a tear 3 years ago. It took me around 8-10 weeks to not feel much pain when standing or sitting or longer periods of time. Took around 4 or 5 months to be pain free. 3 years later and that area is still sore during sex ect if there's any pressure on it.

Due to give birth again in 2 weeks and scared shitless it'll happen again😂

girlmumoftwo · 21/03/2021 10:37

Oh wow! The things we go through! I hope you have a safe and smooth delivery with no need for stitches. I have heard because the area has already been stretched you don’t tear again the same way with subsequent births. So good luck and wishing you all the best!

My episiotomy stitches actually came apart in my second week and there is an open wound there. They didn’t restitch because it risks trapping infection so also have been waiting for that to heal and close up. :( It’s been so so hard. I still can’t walk properly or sit at all.

SnooperTrooper12345 · 21/03/2021 10:45

@girlmumoftwo

Oh wow! The things we go through! I hope you have a safe and smooth delivery with no need for stitches. I have heard because the area has already been stretched you don’t tear again the same way with subsequent births. So good luck and wishing you all the best!

My episiotomy stitches actually came apart in my second week and there is an open wound there. They didn’t restitch because it risks trapping infection so also have been waiting for that to heal and close up. :( It’s been so so hard. I still can’t walk properly or sit at all.

Oh gosh! Fingers crossed it gets better soon for you! ❤️

girlmumoftwo · 21/03/2021 11:02

Thank you! :( ❤️