BBC website article on child birth

[belgo]

here
I wonder why she was denied an epidural? It's vital to have effective pain relief available to woman during labour.

It's also interesting that she felt more in control having an induction.

I know it was many years ago, but a close friend was so affected by his wife's very difficult delivery and the baby's physical appearance at birth, that he was impotent for a almost 3 years!

There was no support then for parents who suffered birth trauma.

He is the only person I know to have been so affected but I am sure there have been many others who feel they shouldn't have problems because they 'only' witnessed the birth.

lulu I am fine I feel quite philosophical I worked in the nhs for years so know there are good and bad. tbh I was a bit out of it and at least it was quick 35 mins start to finish. I actually feel like I could do it again. I knew lo was alright afterwards as I am a children's nurse but when I got home dh told me he had been looking up cerebal palsy on the internet etc etc he was so worried didn't mention it to me though.
He says he would only consider it again if I had an elective section it was absolute chaos in the delivery room with everyone shouting and loads of people and I think he was scared witless. Me I was cross afterwards but have coped iykwim

quick labours are really hard though, i think they are harder than one that lasts a few hours

it can look really paniky, as MWs get gloves on aprons on, and might have to raise their voices to ask you to pant/ not push etc.. and it can look worse than it actually is

also for the mother, a very fast birth can be a shock, and can leave you feeling out of control and your endorphins don;t have as much chance to kick in

if you have precipiate labours you can be offered induction at 38 weeks which takes some of the scariness out of it

i hope you and your DH are able to make a decision you are both happy with

DH keeps telling me that we can't have fertility treatment next year because he couldn't go through the birth and the resulting problems (bad scarring, unsympathetic doctors who told me that it was normal or all in my mind, still not right 11 months later). He's also worried that the scarring problems could get worse.
He did come with me to the counsellor (for birth trauma), only the once mind, he was so freaked out by the whole process that he didn't talk to me for three days. That was helpful. It was so bad that he didn't even tell me why he wasn't talking. I caught him reading my copy of "what colour is your parachute" and I thought that he was going to be made redundant! The next day I was so scared that I confronted him and he finally admitted the problem.
I think I can safely say that I've married a traditional stiff upper lipped Englishman. Wish he would stop taking away his verbal consent to another baby though.

thanks lulu

mrst my lo is ivf too we have 3 frosties that I would like to use but we also have another ds so my dh thinks two is enough

you;re welcome andiem

mrstm.. your DH doesn't need to be at the birth of a subsequent child, you could have a friend./sister/ mother/ doula there and he could be waiting outside the door, or even at home !

it is he tells you yes and then no, to another child, ,must be frustrating and upsetting.