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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

BBC website article on child birth

57 replies

belgo · 27/09/2007 08:08

here
I wonder why she was denied an epidural? It's vital to have effective pain relief available to woman during labour.

It's also interesting that she felt more in control having an induction.

OP posts:

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blueshoes · 27/09/2007 11:11

Each woman's perception of pain is different. Certain races are known to have a lower threshold for pain - or so I am told by friends who work in obs units.

Once a woman has decided she wants an epidural, it should be available on demand. Agree with Belgo about how it is somehow normal to ignore a labouring woman's pain.

Original poster

belgo · 27/09/2007 11:23

Cultural factors do influence the way we deal with child birth. The biggest influence is fear - pain is incredibly hard to cope with if you are frightened. And of course, the severity of the pain can be very frightening itself.

Anna - I never even considered going back to the UK to give birth - that would have been too complicated.

Births in Belgium are generally very medicalised, with epidurals being the norm. I was lucky to have insurance that paid for me to have a group of private midwives and I had a home birth for my second.

OP posts:

NoNameToday · 27/09/2007 11:37

It may be the culture of certain races and some religions which suggest that the pain of childbirth should be born without adequate pain relief.

We now have many women in this country from diverse backgrounds, it has not been my experience that it necessarily influences an individuals needs or wants.

Each and every woman and her needs in labour at that time should be addressed individually.

Some women will experience utopia but for some it is a hell.

lulumama · 27/09/2007 12:55

poor woman

sounds like she was not adequately supported to cope with the pain with other methods

often a woman cannot get an epi because no anesthatist available.. or if it is given too soon, can prolong labour or stall it.. i doubt many midwives would deny a woman an epi becasue they were being mean or unsympathetic.

read the new NICE guidelines last night.. all very well, but whilst there are too few Midwives, and the ones who are there are stretched to the limit, it is going to be the same old story

NoNameToday · 27/09/2007 13:10

My feeling exactly lulumama.

There really isn't an awful lot that has changed in the guidelines.

The publicity will increase the expectations of the mother who does her research and the health care workers will in so many instances be seen to fail to fulfill the womens needs.

Financially the maternity services are very poorly provided for and I see no immediate offers of increased funding to provide for the improvements that are need.

mistypeaks · 27/09/2007 13:10

When I requested my epidural the m/w literally ran out of the room. I really thought I'd asked really rudely and was mortified and apologised profusely when she came back. It turns out as I asked she spotted the anaethetist passing the door and wanted to make sure she got him before anyone else!!! They are just too short staffed. On the flip side because of all the rushing around she forgot to examine me first and when the epidural didn't take it turned out that baby's head was crowning which was why I was in so much pain!!! Still I can't honestly complain. I think I received the best care that they were able to give and I enjoyed both of my births.

lulumama · 27/09/2007 13:13

exactly noname, and the ones who will get all the flack thrown at them will be the MWs , not central government or the PCT or the people ultimately responsible for slashing maternity services

NoNameToday · 27/09/2007 13:29

LOL mistypeaks, I've done many a 'fast walk' in my time.

A good understanding regarding 'transition' is vital in understanding the sudden change from coping very well with minimal or no pain relief to suddenly demanding an epidural/caesarian/'don't want this baby' and all the other feelings that are only humerous with that lovely thing called hindsight!

Also the knowledge that a woman can dilate suddenly from minimal dilatation to fully dilated in a matter of minutes with the resultant 'shock' to all concerned. It can happen.

NoNameToday · 27/09/2007 13:32

Poor terminology from me there! for woman dialtes please read cervix.

Bet you all knew that's what I meant.

Note to self-- please master the art of smileys

lulumama · 27/09/2007 13:33

to do the smileys

[ smile ]

but no gaps !!

[ grin ]

instructions bottom right corner of each thread

NoNameToday · 27/09/2007 13:38

Thanks lulumama

mistypeaks · 27/09/2007 13:40

oo hope you don't think i was having a pop at the midwife. SHe really was very good. I don't think I was the easiest of birthing moms tbh. I was just so damned nice and polite. she had no chance of knowing really!!! Other than you were right I did suddenly from nowhere want an epidural. Even my dh went. "huh really?"

NoNameToday · 27/09/2007 13:46

No mistypeaks I truly didn't see it as critism.

Lovely as the midwife was, perhaps she was a little inexperienced and han't encountered or prepared herself to recognise the signs.

I hope she would next time though, that's how we learn.

mistypeaks · 27/09/2007 13:52

Whilst on the subject. I think m/w have such a difficult job. Understaffed, underesourced etc and on top of it all have to be pyschic!! You've got to know the difference between a stiff upper lipper who actually needs some help and a wailer who just needs a firm hand!!! How on earth you guys do it i'll never know. (other than the end result which i assume is worth it!!)

Lorayn · 27/09/2007 13:58

mistyspeaks, I agree there, I had a friend who screamed and shouted and f'd and blinded and damn near ripped my arm out of it's socket, but managed fine with no pain relief, yet another friend who was extremely quiet and just kept asking me to 'stroke' her, was in agony and ended up needing an em cs. When I had placental abruption (undiscovered as yet because of no bleeding) the m/w asked my mum if maybe I was just a 'sensitive' girl, for complaining I was in pain!

NoNameToday · 27/09/2007 13:58

Mistypeaks, it is the most rewarding experience to help a mother nad baby, indeed I felt so privileged.

Sadly for me I resigned not too long ago because I wasn't prpsred to remain in a service which was so fraught with problems due to underfunding.

I was in a position where I could leave, some people have no option but to continue and I really feel for them.

I miss it dreadfully at times, hence I sit here spouting and typing, hoping that I can still be useful.

andiem · 27/09/2007 14:12

I don't think the shortage of midwives is entirely to blame but some midwives themselves. I was induced for my second labour and when I was transferred to delivery suite was having contractions every minute as I was hyperstimulated. I was left in a room on my own and sent my dh out to get a midwife as I was in agony and knew the contractions were very close 3 midwives were eating chips at the desk and refused to come in the room as I was nothing to do with them. Being an hcp myself I sent him out again and they still refused to come in. Eventually after 10 mins a midwife from antenatal came in and said oh my god get on the bed you are going to have the baby. They then couldn't find his heartbeat well they all rushed in the room then and he was born needing resuscitation. My dh is still traumatised by it I myself am philosophical especially after having watched the panorama programme about midwifery services.

I am not posting this to frighten anyone but I believe that your experience of birth is entirely dependent upon the midwife who is with you at the time and whilst many enjoy caring for mothers there are some who appear to be immune to the pain of others.

now ducks ready for roasting

NoNameToday · 27/09/2007 14:25

No one can roast you for relating your experience!

I am sad to hear it though.

Yes, there will always be the professional who behaves in a manner that should deny them that title.

Can't comment about the midwives who were/wern't caring for you, but the night I decided to hand in my notice, there was a midwife (among others)who stayed for a further shift because it was so exceptionally busy to the point of being dangerously so!

She responded to a patient's call bell, no one else was around. The midwife who was looking after the woman was furious that she had done so(unbelievable I know) and proceeded to be very offensive verbally.

Caring profession? No sometimes they cannot care for patients or their colleagues.

Apologies for my little rant.

Lorayn · 27/09/2007 14:26

andiem, unfortunately I know someone (well a friend of a friend) who was in a similar situation, she was left in a room with her partner as the 'baby wouldnt come for a while yet' when it did it was strangled by its umbilical cord between her legs with no midwife anywhere to be seen. The baby died

andiem · 27/09/2007 14:32

lorayn my dh now won't have another as he was so frightened by the whole episode

I'm working on him though

Lorayn · 27/09/2007 14:38

Good Luck!

NoNameToday · 27/09/2007 15:26

andiem
Some fathers do suffer form birth trauma which is not always identified or addressed.

lulumama · 27/09/2007 16:26

i would urge anyone , traumatised by a birth , to contact the birth trauma association there is a volunteer there, IIRC, who specifically helps fathers who have been traumatised.

andiem · 27/09/2007 17:01

thanks lulu his way of dealing with it is to say never again

lulumama · 27/09/2007 17:03

that's not dealing with it though, it is shutting it away and making sure there is no way it could ever happen again

do you feel ok about it?

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