Nobody ever said anything to me at the time. And I hadn't particularly considered it except to vaguely wonder every now and again only to write it off because it wasn't mentioned specifically. But something made me think recently that with both of them people had commented oh, he's looking around, and that to me suggests that they were both facing up? I hadn't made the connection before that facing up means back to back. And now neither person who was at each Labour can clearly remember. Anyway, I was hoping that maybe someone who has definitely had a back to back baby, or perhaps is a midwife or doula could read this and see what they think.
DS1. 30 hour labour in total, that was about 22 hours in early stages/8h active, but such intense contractions I couldn't sleep through them or do anything and happening at least every 10 mins but not regular. Had TENS machine which helped for a bit but then it just felt like it was exacerbating things and I got ragey at it and took it off. Was pretty tearful throughout much of that day because I hadn't had any sleep (woken at 2am ish) and being in constant pain was exhausting. Had planned a home birth but after one midwife scoffing at me for wanting gas and air and the second one basically seeing I wasn't coping at all, she recommended I transfer in. She was kind though and I did transfer in feeling OK. When I got there an examination said I was 4cm so I went into a room. Kept going for another couple of hours and then got into the pool which was like somebody had just turned the pain down. It was still there but so much easier to manage. Used gas and air in the pool which also helped as coming towards the end. But got out as staff were concerned that I seemed to have been pushing for a long time. When I got out they told me to stop pushing because there was still a lip. I could not physically stop until they got me to make a brrrr sound like a telephone instead. He did eventually come out with arm over head and unassisted, though an episiotomy was being questioned. I tore a bit and had stitches. He had a very coney head! I had nail marks in my palms and a sore throat and a puffy face from screaming so much.
DS2, ten years later. 15 hours in total. Waters breaking was my first sign of Labour and contractions were milder. I could sleep through them and do various things although unsure how much this was just me being a more chilled second timer. Went into hosp around 8 hours into this as I was under instruction not to leave it too long as had positive GBS test. Was sent out for a walk to get things moving and to do paperwork (not UK - insurance stuff plus it was Sunday) which took about 2 hours. I was allowed into a birthing room which I thought meant I was in active labour, but later told I had only been 1cm dilated at that point. Was still able to breathe through contractions and laugh at DH being stupid etc. By about 12 hours in was when it was really ramping up for me. Contractions were every 1-2 mins. Any time I was examined there was no progress (they were really cagey, not giving me a number, so I didn't know I was only 1cm).So after trying a few positions decided to ask for epidural. I was really finding it very hard to cope at this point. It was a struggle to complete the paperwork and to stay still while they did it. I got the impression everyone was annoyed with me/thought I was overreacting, and was later told I had still only been 1cm dilated, which might have been why. The epidural didn't work at all which made me completely panicky and angry and feel like I was losing the plot. It seemed to take ages for anyone to come in and try to see what the problem was, and when they did they decided that the problem wasn't the epidural any more, the issue was that I was suddenly 6cm dilated having been 1cm about an hour before and very shortly after this I wanted to push. Again I was asked not to push as there was a lip. I had completely forgotten the telephone noise trick although it came back to me vividly as soon as they told me about it again. Pushing was fairly quick according to DH, I have no sense of time for this part but once the ring of fire came, I knew what that was like and I did not wait around. DH can't be sure, but he thinks DS2 might have been facing up. He then had some oxygen issues and had to be taken off to special care.
I couldn't talk about his birth for ages. This is actually the first time I have ever written the story down (he is nearly 2). I was physically fine afterwards and he was ok once he'd had a bit of oxygen for a while, they reckoned it was hiccups in utero, but I felt totally traumatised from being in that extreme pain for hours and having nothing to help me cope with it at all. The contractions would make everything black out and afterwards I could literally feel the oxytocin rush, like you get after a really intense orgasm is the only comparison I can make. I can't remember if that happened with the first one or not. I'm certainly never giving birth without gas and air again but I remember vividly saying and meaning that I would never do this ever again full stop.
I guess I'm wondering if it sounds like they were back to back because I actually do want to have another baby but I'm shit scared of labour now that I've had an epidural that didn't work. I genuinely felt I didn't need the epidural for the first one, although I would have quite happily taken it instead of the last 2 hours I got, it seemed manageable. I asked for it in the second Labour because I got to a point where it felt like that but it was hours and hours before the end and I just decided ok, I don't need to do all of that, but it didn't work. I'd never heard of it not working before and I don't know whether that means it could happen again.
I can't have a debrief because my first birth was too long ago and my second one was not in the UK and I don't know if they offer it here. I could possibly ask. But I just wanted to know what people thought really.