3rd degree tear....please come and help me!

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Just need some solitary. I had my little boy naturally two weeks ago. Ended in a 3b tear front to back with a load of stitches in theatre. It’s still so fucking sore. It hurts all the time. I have no relief as having to wear pads 24hrs a day because I’m still bleeding so no ‘air’. 3 baths a day frantically trying to keep it clean. Just been told there is a mild bacterial infection. I’m absolutely gutted feel like I’ve failed looking after it. Hoping GP will prescribe antibiotics. I’m shattered and sitting hurts. Walking hurts. I’m miserable with it. Please tell me it gets better...soon.

Mines stopped being agony after 8-9 weeks. My stitches burst after a few days so can relate to that crying my eyes out in pain couple with sleep deprivation.

Get someone to do a boots run and get teatree and lavender oil. Put a couple drops of each at top middle and bottom of sanitary towel.

Can you shower instead of bathing?

Also get a cooling agent to sit on. Ice pack.

I cant remember the name of them but use cooling things to sit on. God sorry my brain won't work!

Oh op, I’ve been there. Get antibiotics if you can. Wet some pads and freeze them in ziplock bags, you can sit on them. Make sure you’re not constipated (lactulose or something daily, and lots of fruit and veg if you can) Take painkillers, I was on the behind the counter ibuprofen for a while. Don’t walk any more than you can help, don’t overdo it. Do seek a women’s health physio in a month or two to help you recover.
I don’t know if you need 3 baths a day - are they salted baths? I might consider underwear free time instead, sit/lie on a puppy pad?

Warm salt water baths helped mine and lots of rest! Try not to over do it.

Oh I should add, at 10 weeks physio said I could start to go for more proper walks. I knew if I’d overdone it before then as it would start to hurt. But 3 years later I had a second, also naturally, with a 2nd degree tear that was a walk in the park in comparison

I was told to keep it as dry as possible, so 3 baths a day might be a bit much. Yes to air drying - lie on a towel or pad with no underwear a couple it times a day.

Rinse with a warm jug of water after the loo.

I had similar so I really do sympathise.

Get teatree oil, mix it in a cup with a bit of milk and add it to your bath. The milk allows the oil to mix into your bath rather than staying on top of the surface. Once I started doing that it made a difference. It takes a while to heal though

3dts are the worst - mine was harder to recover from than my c section. I recommend soaking in lavender oil, taking painkillers and resting as much as possible.

Oh you poor soul, I totally remember this and it really is so hard. I'm pretty sure I was still on really strong painkillers at that stage - if you feel that would be right for you maybe you could ask for a prescription? Only drawback is I really don't remember anything about the first month or so! Other than that, once the bleeding is calm enough you could maybe try sleeping on a towel with no underwear? That really helped me. It really will get better but I know that's hard to believe right now. Definitely see a good physio later if you can, wish I'd done that sooner.

Thanks for all advice and sympathy. Hospital said 3 baths a day but maybe should tone that down now? Have started laying in bed to air. Hope the bleeding eases soon so I can get off the pads!!

FFS they are infected. I can see it. Have phoned gp. I’m so upset

Tea tree oil on your pads. Just a few drops as it’s a natural antibacterial. I also made a tea tree spray to spray whenever i needed it. And drying the stitches with a hairdryer on a very cool setting. I hope it gets better soon

Is anything helping op? I do hope you’re taking painkillers.

It does get better! Like PP I was told to keep as dry as possible so agree 3 baths a day may be a bit much. I was also told no bath salts etc as can irritate stitches.
Dry the area with kitchen towel not toilet paper - just dabbing. Toilet paper can get little bits stuck to the stitches causing infection.
I promise it will get better - I survived on ibuprofen and paracetamol for at least the first month.

I found pads soaked in witch hazel instant relief, well for a while at least! Hope you get help OP

Huge sympathies OP - sounds awful and particularly hard to contend with once sleep deprivation is thrown in which will naturally delay wound healing.

I had similar with my deliveries. The first time I was advised to keep it moist and I went down the route of x2 daily baths, various lotions and potions on my pads etc. It took forever to heal and became infected. I couldn’t understand why as I had followed all the advice of health professionals and the eons of advice on mumsnet threads about lavendar oils, salt baths etc. It was soul destroying and took months to heal, not helped by the lochia continuing for 9 weeks so I was continually in pads.

The second time round I was advised by the midwife to ignore the previous advice and to concentrate to keeping the wound as dry as possible. I was told to avoid baths and instead have quick showers instead. Advised not to do any of the lotions and potions on the pads that I had done previously. It seemed counter intuitive at the time (and I did order a sitz bath to attach to the toilet seat so I cld wash every so often in salt water) but my goodness it worked. Healed beautifully and much quicker than the first time. May be coincidence but I have heard similar from friends so I would advise showering instead of bathing and trying to air your bits as much as possible.

So just an update. Doctor prescribed antibiotics again for which I’m now on day 3 and it’s made a huge difference. I’ve switched from baths to showers and trying to air as much as possible. Bleeding has slowed significantly now which I think is helping. I feel like I’m finally making a little progress. Thank you all for advice.

Well done OP, glad to hear the antibiotics are helping. I used to lie on an incontinence pad (puppy pad) at night to allow maximum air flow. Spritz For Bits is amazing, although the smell of it now reminds me of pain! You can take co-drydamol for pain if you need to, something to do with it being transferred less through breast milk. Keep your bowels working well, soft is best, even if you have to go a few times a day and pour water from front to back after to ensure any bacteria are washed away. Also, take care of your posture. I learnt this the hard way with input from the women’s physio for coccyx pain until little one was 12 months old.
It’s not an easy injury to recover from but it’s worthwhile one! Congratulations on your little boy

I had a 4DT in January (although no infection) so I know exactly how you're feeling. Honestly the best thing in the early days was frozen pads. And I absolutely second the spritz for bits, the smell took me a while to get used to but I'm 100% convinced it was that that has let me heal so well. I've had to alter quite a few things to be able to feel comfortable but I feel almost normal now. It does get better!

I really feel for you. It does get better, but that doesn't help when you are in the thick of it! All that helped me was a bath a day, lying on a disposable bed mat thing when in bed instead of wearing knickers and pads to let air pass, and just really taking it easy. Make sure you keep on top of taking pain meds, don't wait for it to start to hurt but take every 4 hrs etc. Keep on with the stool softeners especially if you are having iron tabs for any anaemia.

I remember just feeling like everything I did hurt. I had a bladder infection from the catheter, and thrush in my nipples/baby's mouth from the antibiotics given to me because of catheter. Was heavily anaemic after big blood loss, but constipated because of the iron. I also had the piles from hell after birthing the 9lb11oz little brute.

So going for a #2 was absolute hell between the stitches, piles and constipation. Going for a wee was hell because of the bladder infection. Feeding the newborn was hell because of the thrush and resulting cracked nipples but he needed feeding a lot as he was big and colicky. Everything was conspiring against me!

I had a 3B and an episiotomy. It healed ok in the end.

Are you sure the baths are helping as the whole area will be more moist?

I got some pretty hefty anti inflammatiories, someone will know the name. They were bloody brilliant, have you been given any painkillers?

I completely know how you feel! I had a 3 degree tear 6 weeks ago after forceps delivery and am still in lots of pain! Part of it is continuously infected and am currently on my third lot of antibiotics but it doesn't appear to be clearing up. Can hardly sit or walk and it is so hard trying to look after a newborn when you can hardly move!
I have been having lots of baths too as it was the only thing to soothe it but maybe I need to stop.
Hope yours gets better soon! Xx

Just reading this. My goodness. Sympathy for all of you!

I agree with showers. I was advised as such and to pat dry.
I think I only showered every 2 days as they said it needs to dry out. I also bled for 9 weeks first time round.
It does get better in the end.
I had my second 7 months ago (another 3rd deg year sadly) and in surgery they couldn't see any sign of scaring from the previous year 6 years ago.